Maybe something could still happen

With the Twins infield.
The Toronto Blue Jays continued their off season spending spree when they traded for 3B Troy Glaus.
THe Blue Jays now have 44 third basemen on their roster.
Actually, that's only a slight exaggeration.
The Jays have Glaus, Corey Koskie, Shea Hillenbrand, Eric Hinske and Aaron HIll all on their roster.
They're all third basemen and they're all better than Tony Batista.
The Jays know they have to trade at least one of them, figuring HIll can play short and two of the others can fill the 1B and DH roles.
But knowing that they HAVE to make a trade, they cant be too picky.
Kyle Lohse for Shea Hillenbrand anyone?
I know I said the Twins were done, and they still likely are, but I'd be shocked if T-Ry didn't at least inquire about one of these guys.
Any of them would be an upgrade, and then Batista could move to the bench, where his power would have value as a RH-PH.

MNF - ESPN will probably screw it up

I'll admit that I'm a sucker for nostalgia, but even so, the end of Monday Night Football on ABC is, to me, a big deal.
I've never been big on watching football games that don't involve the Vikings, but MNF has always been an exception. I've watched at least 10 Monday night games a year every year since probly 1987, and as the Jets-Pats game wound down - I realized how many amazing moments I've witnessed on Monday nights over the years.
My first memory of MNF goes back to a 49ers-Bears game from '86 or '87.
I had jumped on the Super Bowl Shufflin Bears bandwagon as a 5-year old, and although it had mostly worn off by then, I still had a small affinity for them.
I really liked receiver Willie Gault, and of course, Jim McMahon, Walter Payton and Fridge Perry.
Anyway, I remember my dad saying to me that the 49ers would beat the Bears "something like 41-0"
I thought he was crazy.
Final score that night?
49ers 41, Bears 0.
But there were so many other moments.
Bo Jackson burning past the Seahawks defense, down the sideline until he dissapeared into the tunnel.
Randall Cunningham amazingly shaking off Carl Banks to throw the winning touchdown.
Jim McMahon to Eric Gulliford to beat the Packers.
An ancient Joe Montana leading another improbable comeback, this time as a Chief, to beat Elway and the Broncos.
Brett Favre's 99 yard TD pass to Robert Brooks.
Frank Gifford pronouncing 'Monday' 'Mondee'
Dennis Miller.
Randy Moss's coming-out party to end the Packers home winning streak.
Deion Sanders finding a way to make a game-changing play every time he was on MNF.
Painfully watching Eric Dickerson's sideline reports.
The guy who jumped out of the stands to catch a field goal kick, and falling God knows how far to the ground - with the ball in tow.
The Jets huge comback from down 30-8 against the Dolphins.
Jerry Rice staging his own personal track meet against the Vikings - more than once.
Vikings-Packers - Antonio Freeman, Chris Dishman - you know the play.
Hank Williams, Jr.
Raider RB Napolean McCallum's knee bending the WRONG way in one of the most gruesome injuries ever.
The T.O. - Desperate Housewives thing.
Every former Buckeye saying they played at THE Ohio State University.
Dan Deardorf overstating the talent of everyone in the NFL.
Dan Deardorf saying 'Lord take me now, I've seen it all.' What a retard. (THough I should point out I never hated him as much as most people did)
Truthfully, any NFC Central or NFC North game that was ever played on Monday Night. I'll admit I'm biased, but I think every NFL fan outside this division is being cheated. There is simply nothing like football in the NFC North. It's what the NFL is all about.
While the Bo Jackson run and the Joe Montana pass to (I think it was Willie Davis) to beat Denver are the individual plays that stand out the most to me, the personal performance I'll never forget is without a doubt Brett Favre's superhuman effort against the Raiders two days after the death of his father. He had something like 400 yards and 5 touchdowns, and the Packers ripped the Raiders. It was unbelieveable, and like almost everything on this list, I'll never forget it.
MNF will continue on ESPN, and in most ways, it will be relatively the same.
But it still won't be.
Little kids won't be able to watch in secret on tiny black and white antenna Tv's, praying their parents don't hear it, like I did growing up. Or in the garage, or the kitchen, or anywhere else there's no cable.
The game will no longer be followed by your local news, it will be followed by Sportscenter, and that will be annoying, as will the ESPN commercials.
To me, what sums up just how special MNF was, is the spooky way it's death mirrored its birth.
The score of the first MNF game ever, in 1969, was 31-21. The losing team was the Jets.
Tonights score? 31-21. Losing team? J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets.

It's Over (Plus more '06 lineup)

I'm surprised at how hard I took the Vikings loss to the Ravens tonight.
The Vikings have fallen to a very distant second behind the Twins when it comes to my favorite sports teams, but for some reason, I liked this team.
Maybe because they finally had a reasonable defense, maybe because of their improbable rise from the dead to contention, maybe because I pull for Mike Tice.
Or maybe because they simply should've won this won. And then they should've beat the Bears to make the playoffs. I was sure it would happen. How could they lose to the Ravens?
30-23? (don't you WISH you bet the over).
Ironic, too, that that was the score when most people (myself included) figured it would take probably 17 points to win. I figured for a low-scoring game, and if an offense like the Vikings' (it's worse than you think it is) can score 23 points against the Raven's D - that should be a win every time.
And if Kyle Boller can have that kind of night, maybe the Vikes D still needs some work.
I'm not sure if Tice should be back - that probably depends on what the alternatives are.
But the defense, while far from fixed, is finally showing signs, so in that vein, now might not be a good time to blow the thing up and start over.
I'm just dissapointed, because I don't know what I'm going to watch now.
The Wolves are tough to get a read on, and I don't get that excited about them, anyway. (Although Wally sure is having a helluva year)
The Wild are an average team, and I don't know if I'm enough of a hockey fan to watch an average team.
Gophers? Well, okay they beat South Dakota State (I thought they'd lose) but I'm not impressed with them either.
Go Augie, I guess.
* I thought a little more about the Twins lineup next year, and cameup with a couple that I like (though I stress these are my ideas, not something I actually expec to see)

Castillo
Mauer
Stewart
White
Morneau
Hunter
Cuddyer
Batista
Bartlett
I like this one, because while Stewart's OBP and steals have been in decline, his skill with runners in scoring position isn't. As bad a year as he had last year, he was still the one guy who appeared to have a clue about how to get a hit in a tough spot. Putting him in the 3-hole not only lessens the effect of his faults, it magnifies his strenghts. Castillo and Mauer are both OBP machines. Having them 1-2 seems almost like a no-brainer.
Or...
Castillo
Mauer
White
Morneau
Hunter
Cuddyer
Stewart
Batista
Bartlett
White is capable of hitting 3-hole, especially if Morneau emerges. And if Morneau does indeed step up, he has to be hitting 4th in my opinion.
Stewart would go from an average to below average leadoff man to an above average 7-hitter.

2006 - The Lineup

The Twins added Rondell White, and I'm pretty pumped. He might not be as big a name as Frank Thomas, Mike Piazza or Jim THome, but he's probably a better signing.
His only downside has been injuries, and the Twins plan to buffer that by making him a full-time DH. His contract is also heavily incentive laden, which protects them from having to pay him $8 million for 150 at-bats.
If he plays 140 games, White will likely hit in the .280-.300 range, with 25 homers and 100 RBIs.
Make no mistake, though, this is it. The Twins are done adding players. With the addition of Denny Reyes to fill the lefty role previously occupied by JC Romero, the Twins roster is pretty much set.
Assuming Batista doesn't totally bomb in spring training, I'm guessing the lineup will look something like this.
LF - Shannon Stewart
2B - Luis Castillo
C - Joe Mauer
DH - Rondell White
CF - Torii Hunter
1B - Justin Morneau
3B - Tony Batista
RF - Michael Cuddyer/Jason Kubel/Lew Ford
SS - Jason Bartlett
* A few comments: I'd put a microscope on Shannon Stewart. I think there's a 30% chance that he's DONE. He could bounce back, and if he does the Twins lineup can be very dangerous. But if he's hitting .270 on June 1st, I'd replace him with Kubel and let Cuddy stay in right (unless of course, Cuddyer is sucking, too.) Remember, Stewart no longer steals any bases, and is one of the 5 worst defensive OF's in the big leagues. He has to hit .300 (with about a .375 OBP) to be worth an everday spot.
And speaking of the OF, I don't care if Lew Ford bats .700 in spring training, I wouldn't let him start in RF. He's a perfect fourth outfielder - that's where he should stay.
I'd bat White 4th, but I'd have Morneau right behind him. Gardy will surely bat him behind Hunter, and maybe even behind Batista, because he doesn't know how to make a lineup. If Morneau finally comes around though, it'll be a moot point.
Speaking of Batista, he should be batting 8th, because no matter how many HR's he hits, he'll make a ton of outs. Even if Cuddyer struggles again, he'll still get on base much more, so he should be 7th.
Alot of people are ripping on Batista, most of it deserved, but if he hits 30 homers in the 8-hole, it won't matter to me that his OBP is only .280.
*Joe Mays signed with KC. I wouldn't expect him to have a big year, but I wouldn't be one bit surprised if he shut out the Twins three times next year.

Tony Batista

Is not a guy I'm too excited about.
Will he hit homeruns?
Yes.
Will he make so many outs in his other plate appearances to render most of those homeruns useless?
Very possibly.
The guy with the stupid batting stance hit 32 homers in 2004 with the Orioles, yet couldn't find a job in 2005.
He played in Japan.
Where he posted a very poor .293 OBP.
Defensively (he's a third basemen) he is average at best, harmful to a team's defense at worst.
I realize that when they lost out on Bill Mueller they didn't have a lot of options, but geez, they'd be better off going with Cuddyer again.
One Twins blogger called this the worst transaction in Twins history - I wont go that far. He also called Batista one of the five worst hitters in the league (his 32 homers notwithstanding). Again, I think too harsh.
I'm willing to give the guy a chance.
One thing I will say is that while adding a slap hitter like Tony Graffanino was probably, deep down, a wiser move, I still prefer this. Batista has and will hit homeruns. He at least makes pitchers pay for mistakes, and keeps them honest.
Graffanino and the like are fine players, but they still kind of seem like utility infielders. Even if they are good ones, I'm tired of utility infielders.
This guy has power. Alot will probably depend on where he bats in the order and if the Twins add Piazza (or bring back Jacque Jones again, for that matter).
If he can keep his glove on, hit 30 homers and by the grace of God get on base 30% of the time - well, it still wouldn't be that great of a move.
Let's just hope that we don't pair this guy with Rob Deer at DH.

Thome Sox

One of the big bats available in the market that the Twins showed interest in was Jim Thome.
The Twins were supposedly one of the teams with an inside track to sign him, yet Wednesday he was acquired by the White Sox for Aaron Rowand.
Here's why that's good news for Twins fans.
1 - Rowand, the Sox centerfielder, is a very good player, a great defender, and the Sox will miss him.
2 - Thome is a risk at his age and coming off an injury. The Twins might be better off with someone else.
3 - While it's very possible the Sox will have Thome DH and resign Paul Konerko, this does open up the possibility that the Sox are NOT going to resign Konerko, who is the No. 1 free-agent on the market thisyear. The Angels reportedly will make a big push for him.
If the Sox end up losing Konerko and Rowand, they'll be a far worse team than they were last year.

5-5?

If the Vikings win their Monday nighter at Lambeau, all of a sudden their season has a little promise.
Though I think the Bear's win over Carolina shows that, as much as I hate to admit it, their defense is good enough to make them a legit team. Even if the Vikes turn things around I can't see them winning more than 9 games, and 7 or 8 is more likely.
The Bears are probably going to win a minimum of 9, and maybe even 11.
Turns out the North isn't as terrible as everyone thought.
My prediction for Monday:
Vikings 17, Packers 16.
Brad Johnson completes 44 passes for 112 yards.

Hot, Hot Stove

Substantial reports about who the Twins may actually be targeting in the free-agent market have finally begun to surface.
Two names I assumed the Twins might and perhaps should show interest in - Brian Giles and Frank Thomas - are apparently not in their plans.
And yet, the list of names Terry Ryan is apparently pursuing is actually better than I expected.
The problem is the players in question are bigger names at this stage in their career than they are bats.
The last time the Twins were in the market, I laid out the candidates and the odds for who would join the team. I correctly, and unfortunately, predicted that they'd add Bret Boone.
We'll try it again.
*Mike Piazza
Age on opening day 2006: 37
Position: C/1B/DH
2005: .251-19-62
Odds he'll be a Twin: 5 to 1.
Piazza is still one of the biggest names in the game, as evidenced by the fact he still goes to the All-Star game every year.
However, after hitting 30 or more homers in 10 out of 11 seasons, he has put up LeCroy like numbers over the last three years.
Odd, since he'd basically be replacing LeCroy, but would cost a lot more.
Look at the similarities. Both hit around .260, hit about 20 homers per 400 at bats, and both stink in the field, whether at first or behind the plate.
To be fair, Piazza's defense behind the plate has never been as bad as reported. He's actually a good receiver with a poor throwing arm.
And it's worth noting that he has hit .313 as a DH in his career, which would be his primary role with the Twins. He also has a .346 career average against AL pitchers.
As similar as he was to LeCroy on paper last year, I'd still be in support of adding him.
What makes him a legit possibility is the fact that his agent said Piazza is interested in the Twins. Anytime the Twins start talking about free-agents, you have to pretty much assume they'd never even consider Minnesota until you hear otherwise.
*Nomar Garciaparra
Age on opening day: 32
Position: SS/3B?
2005:280-9-38
Odds he'll be a Twin: 50 to 1.
While his stock has certainly fallen due to injuries in the last couple years, I still think Nomar is too expensive for the Twins. Too bad, because at 32, you'd think that if he does get back to 100% he'd have some good years left.
While his last two years have been injury-plagued, Nomar hit .301-28-105 in '03, his last full season.
For his career his average season has been .320-29-112.
There's a chance he'd play third for the Twins, which he did at times for the Cubs, though if the Twins did sign Nomar, I'd prefer to see them play him at SS, move Cuddyer to second, and insert Bill Mueller at third. (Trust me, they are going to sign Bill Mueller.) Speaking of which..
*Bill Mueller
Age: 36
2005:.298
Position: 3b/2b
Odds he'll be a Twin: 2 to 1.
The Twins really want this guy, partly I think because they know they can get him.
He'll be a nice pickup, so long as he's not the only pickup.
*Mike Lowell
Age: 32
Position: 3b
Odds he'll be a Twin: 25 to 1.
Too much risk here, I think.
Last year, Lowell hit. 238-8-58 in 500 at bats, a horrible season.
In the five years prior, he averaged .277-26-94.
At just 32, it's tempting to think he just had an off year, and that is certainly a possibility.
But the steroid factor looms as well. They should go for more of a sure thing.
*Reggie Sanders
Age: 38
2005: .271-21-54
Odds he'll be a Twin: 20 to 1.
Even at 38, Sanders is a stud. The bidding again might get too high for the Twins here.
But with 5 straigh years of at least 20 homers, and a knack for coming up big in playoffs, he'd be a good pickup.
*Tony Graffanino
Age: 34
2005: .309-7-38
Positions: 2b/3b/ss
Odds he'll be a Twin: 10 to 1.
After a career as a utility player, Graffanino finally got a chance to play last year and responded with a fine year.
The Twins would be willing to give him a shot to play 2b every day, and if Nick Punto is their only other option, I'm all for it.
But remember, Denny Hocking had a couple great years as a part time player, and nobody made him any big offers. I'm thinkin Graffanino is only a good player when the expectations of him are low.
*Rondell White
Age: 34
2005: .313-12-53 in 97 games.
Positions: OF
Odds he'll be a Twin: 15 to 1.
With Jacque Jones about to leave via free-agency, the question the Twins have to ask themselves with any OF is, 'Will this guy be any better than Jacque?'
And the sad fact is that Jacque is as good as any OF on the market, so just bringin him back wouldn't be a bad move.
On the other hand, Jacque has had six years to make the move from good to great and he hasn't done it.
Rondell White isn't great, necessarily, but he is better than Jacque I think. And righthanded.
Had he stayed healthy he would've put up very big numbers last year, but that's always been his problem. He's never, ever stayed healthy.
The other question of course, is what do the Twins have to give up?
Piazza could be had as a free-agent, while most of the others would have to come in a trade.
It's going to be awhile till anything starts happening.
My prediction is that the Twins sign Piazza and Mueller, both free-agents.
Then they try to trade Kyle Lohse for whatever they can get.
If that turns out to be the case, I'd be satisfied.
It wouldn't make them favorites to beat out Cleveland (the chic pick to win it all in '06 as of now), but it does improve their offense quicker than just getting Morneau to take more batting practice.

Who's It Gonna Be?

When Al Newman left the Twins, it said a lot about the team. Namely that the lack of chemistry isn't limited to the players.
All year as fans and media called for the head of hitting coach Scott Ulger, the Twins defended him, insisted it wasn't his fault, he was trying really hard, etc.
But when Newman quit, a spot on the staff opened up, and now the news is out that the Twins offered the hitting coach job to Paul Molitor.
That would mean the team planned on reassigning Ulger to 3B coach, but Molitor refused to the job.
So now what?
I will say that I'm glad Molitor turned the job down. His one season as hitting coach for the Mariners was a total failure, and if you look around, other great hitters (Rod Carew, Eddie Murray) have also been failures as hitting coaches. Sometimes great players lack the patientce or ability to relate to the young, struggling, and/or average player.
I would still like to see the team offer the job to Brian Harper.
I have no idea what Harper is doing, if he has ever coached or if he has any interest in coaching.
I just think he'd be good at it.
Knowing the Twins, though, they'll probly just promote one of their minor league coaches.
But that isn't necessarily bad.
Rick Anderson was a no-name AAA pitching coach who the Twins could've easily spurned in favor of a bigger name.
Now Anderson is the American League's version of Leo Mazzone, and fans are pissed that he didn't replace Dick Such sooner.

Go A.J

I can't exactly say that I'm happy the White Sox are in the World Series, but
A) they deserve it
B) better them than the Red Sox or Yankees
C) I'm very happy for A.J. Pierzynski
AJ is a guy who's taken a lot of shit over the past couple years, mostly for being the kind of guy any manager worth his salt would kill to have on his team.
I could use all the bullshit cliched adjectives - gamer, scrappy, etc, etc, and they'd all apply, but they still miss the point.
Alot of guys run hard and slide hard and get dirty and are so called 'gamers'.
But almost all of them lack the attitude that AJ brings.
He's a guy you love to have on your side and hate to play against. He picks fights, talks shit, rips guys in the papers, and probly gets hammered after games. He kicks ass. There are many , many teams that lack spark in a variety of ways (I'm thinking of one in particular) and AJ has provided that for Chicago.
With the Twins embarassing themselves on the field and in the dugout this year, AJ would've been a welcome addition to their team.
The fact that Gardy had difficulties with this guy is just another reason I question Gardy as often as I do.
I also know a lot of Twins fans hate Ozzie Guillen, but I don't.
In fact, I knew when they hired him that he'd make them a winner.
Ozzie recognized that the Twins were onto something, convinced his GM to change the organizational philosophy to be closer to that of the Twins, and then turned around and beat them at their own game. Nice work.
The Twins are still in fine shape as an organization, but it should be apparent by now that neither the Sox or Indians were one-year wonders this year.
The AL Central will be very tough for the next half decade, and the Twins have to be proactive if theyr'e going to compete.

Koskie - We're Better Off

An ESPN.com insider report says that a Koskie for Morneau deal could happen.
This is the stupidest thing I've ever read.
It is also an example of bad journalism, (not so much by ESPN, because they simply swiped it off the Toronto Sun newspaper) but by the Toronto paper for not bothering to find out that Terry Ryan has ZERO interest in re-acquiring everyones favorite Candian 3B.
Koskie was let go by the Twins because he couldn't stay healthy, and this year for Toronto, he didn't stay healthy. The Jays have an up and coming 3B in Aaron Hill, and suddenly Koskie has gone from their big free-agent signing to an albatross contract that they're desperate to rid themselves of.
I'm sure the Jays would LOVE to get Morneau in exchange for the Twins taking Koskie and his contract, but that'd never happen, no matter how dissapointing Morneau was this year.
Koskie was a fan favorite, and fans clamored all year for the team to make an effort to get him back after Cuddyer fizzled out at third.
But Koskie, for all the money he makes, is a terrible risk for any small to mid market team. You simply have no guarantee youre going to get more than 300 at bats for all that money.
Even if the Twins could get him back for JC Romero or Kyle Lohse I doubt it would happen, because the Twins have to spend their money smarter than that.
As I've said before, I think there's a good chance that Bill Mueller is the Twins 3B next year, with Cuddyer moving to 2nd.
*P.S. - The Twins officially parted ways with Luis Rivas and Mike Ryan on Tuesday.
They also released Brent Abernathy, but expressed interest in bringing him back.
I like Abernathy, and Mike Ryan. Come to think of it, I used to really like Rivas, too.
But Luis' time was more than up, and Ryan is a 4th outfielder.
Hopefully, their release of Ryan is a sign that the team plans on making Lew Ford their 4th OF next year. If Lew was gonna be a starter they'd probly keep Ryan around as a potential backup.

Put Carl's money where your mouth is

Terry Ryan says he's going to address the Twins needs this off-season.
Gardy says so, too, though I think he's only saying it to put pressure on Terry.
"It's obvious this didn't work" they say, as though the Twins are coming off a 61-101 season, and as if they had no part of it. Well, check that, Ryan takes all the blame and Gardy takes next to none, though his in-game managerial prowess is widely regarded as terrible right now.
Not that they aren't right - it didnt' work.
Nick Punto as a starter didn't work.
Lew Ford as a DH didn't work.
Shannon Stewart as an everday LF didn't work.
Jacque Jones against lefties didn't work.
Then there's the other things:
Michael Cuddyer as a starter didn't work.
Justin Morneau as a clean-up hitter didn't work.
Joe Mays for 30 starts didn't work.
JC Romero as a dependable lefty didn't work.
That second list is forgivable.
But the first few, well, most people already knew that Nick Punto was a utility player, that Lew Ford wouldn't produce enough for a DH, that Shannon Stewart was both a liability and a candidate for fatigue playing in the OF, and that Jacque Jones can't hit lefties.
Those are things Gardy and T-Ry knew, and yet did nothing about.
If they had had any sort of Plan B, the Twins might still have made a legit run at the playoffs, even if the things on that second list still happened.
But back to the claims that these problems will be addressed.
My reaction when I heard that, was, well...bullshit.
They were also going to make a move at the deadline this year, remember?
Indications are that the payroll will actually go up next year, but they have to be careful, with several players becoming arbitration eligible in the near future.
The main key to next season will be Morneau. Will he rebound from a bad sophomore slump? And will he stop acting like a fag?
22 homers and 79 ribbies isn't bad, but I don't know if anyone has ever looked worse hitting 22 homers, and picking fights with Torii Hunter isn't a great idea either.
Hey Justin, want people to think you're a badass?
Try hitting 40 homers, dipshit.
There are very few free-agents available, in fact, Jacque Jones is one of the best out there, and we'll be losing him.
Mike Piazza is a possibility, but, like Bret Boone, he's a guy I would've liked to have four years ago.
I think there's a good chance the Twins sign Bill Mueller and move Cuddy to third.
That's a decent move, but it doesn't even put the lineup half-way to where it needs to be.

The Envelope Please

Wow, it's really been two weeks since I updated here.
I guess that's just how terrible things got.
Although, I should point out that 83-79 isn't too bad, and that seven years ago, Twins fans (what ones there were) would've killed for an 83 win season.
There's a bunch of things that need to be said about the 2005 season, and I'm gonna try to get to all of them in the next week or so.
Really.
But for now, as a tide-myself-over update, I'm going to make my picks for the Post-season and the awards. (Yes, I'm a sportswriter, no, I don't get a vote).
PS - If you really want to read good stufff about the Twins season, and get some much better and smarter analysis, check out the startribune.com coverage over the weekend.
Tremendous stuff - astute analysis, good commentary, humerous writing, and not afraid to take well deserved shots at Gardy and T-Ry.
On to the ceremony....
AL Playoffs
Red Sox at White Sox
The White Sox impressed the hell out of me by sweeping the Indians to close out the year in games that didn't mean anything to them but could've got Cleveland to the playoffs. In Cleveland no less.
But I still like the Red Sox.
If Schilling is game, and my guess is he will be, the Sox have too much pitching with Wakefield, Wells, and Clement.
The White Sox hottest pitcher has been Jose Contreras, and he's not a guy that scares teams in October.
And Boston has David Ortiz, who, as much as it pains me to say, is the single most dangerous hitter in the game.
BOSTON IN FOUR.
Yankees at Angels
The Yankees are written off every year as too old, too slow, and too complacent, and yet every year theyre in the playoffs.
Randy Johnson got hot at the right time, and their offense got its shit together after the All-Star break.
The Angels are a good squad, and they eliminated the Yankees back in '02.
But I think the Yanks get there revenge.
YANKS IN FIVE.
Red Sox at Yankees
I just realized this very moment how boring the AL playoff teams are. I actually kind of hope the White Sox make it, because this Yankees-Red Sox shit is getting way old.
To pick one, well, neither team is as good as they were last year, but the Yankees have a much better bullpen.
I look at David Ortiz and think there's no way Boston can lose.
Then I look at Mariano Rivera and think there's no way the Yanks can lose.
YANKS IN SEVEN.
NL Playoffs
San Diego at St. Louis
The Padres made the playoffs at 82-80, the worst ever, while the Cardinals went 100-62, the best record in baseball.
I'm sure the Padres will look at teams like the 87 Twins (85-77) as inspiration, but it ain't happenin.
CARDS IN THREE.
Houston at Atlanta
This should be a good series - I really like the 'Stros.
The Braves won their 14th straight division title. That is amazing. Really, really amazing.
The Braves have some awesome young players (the Twins should look to them as evidence that you CAN, in fact, develop young hitters at the big league level) but youth isn't necessarily a good thing in post-season.
Houston's closer, Brad Lidge, is one of the nastiest pitchers I've ever seen.
ASTROS IN SEVEN.
Astros at Cardinals
There's a better chance of the Cards pitchers shutting down the Stros than vice versa.
St. Louis has dominated the NL for two years running, and I don't expect that to be interrupted.
CARDS IN SIX.
World Series
Last year the Cards were a team that had the ability to play with the Red Sox, but with Boston having just pulled off the biggest sports miracle since the 1980 US hockey team, did anyone really think the Cards had a chance?
That was destiny, friends, and it was on the BoSox side.
This year, that won't be the case. The AL had a down year, as both the Sox and Yanks have their warts.
The Cards do, too, but they're a much more balanced club.
Last year they were embarrased. This year they get it done.
CARDS IN SIX.

AWARDS
AL MVP
1. Alex Rodriguez
2. David Ortiz
3. Travis Hafner
4. Mariano Rivera
5. Vlad Guerrero
Ortiz carried the Sox, but guess what, he's a DH. I'm sorry, but I would never vote for a DH. And I'm not biased either, because I myself am, as the years pass, becoming more and more of a DH for my own team.
A-Rod had comparable offensive numbers, and is a Gold Glove at the 3-sack. In fact, he's baseball's best player.
AL CY Young
1. Mariano Rivera
2. Johan Santana
3. Bartolo Colon
4. Cliff Lee
5. Joe Nathan
Santana was the best starter in the league, but of course won only 16 games. I'd still vote for him were it not for the fact that Rivera played such a huge role in saving the Yankees again.
Just to point out how stupid NY fans are-remember that they were all calling for him to retire in April when he had a bad week to open the season.
Fuck you Yankees fans, you're all retarded. You don't deserve Rivera.
AL Rookie
1. Tadahito Iguchi, ChW
2. Nick Swisher, Oak
3. Gustavo Chacin, Tor
As long as the rules consider Japanse imports as rookie's that's good enough for me, and Iguchi was a big reason the Sox were so much better this year.
In fact, he's the kind of player the twins need to go find, because there's slim pickins on the free-agent market.
AL MGR
1. Joe Torre
2. Ozzie Guillen
3. Eric Wedge
The Yanks looked pitiful in April and May, and all the NY columnists excitedly broke out those "Demise of an Empire" essays that they've been keeping in their desk drawers for years.
But something happened.
The Yanks made winners out of guys like Robinson Cano, Aaron Small, Ching Wang (or whatever), Bubba Crosby and Shawn Chacon.
Some say that Torre is overrated because he has a trillion dollar payroll to fix the teams problems, and that argument isn't without merit.
But Torre has found out how to manage this particular organization the right way, and quite frankly, George Steinbrenner doesn't deserve him.
COMEBACK OF THE YEAR
Jason Giambi - This guy is the argument for the 'steroids are overblown' crowd.
After nearly being sent to the minors, the guy blew up after the break. 30 homers and an OBP of nearly .450.
And think, any team willing to take his contract could've had him in April or May.
NL MVP
1. Barry Bo- oh sorry, force of habit.

1. Andruw Jones
2. Albert Pujols
3. Derek Lee
4. Miguel Cabrera
5. Jimmy Rollins
Jones is already the best OF in the NL, maybe all of baseball (sorry if i'm partial to a certain #48).
Now this year he goes off and hits 51 bombs. Easy pick.
NL Cy YOUNG
1. Chris Carpenter
2. Dontrelle Willis
3. Roger Clemens
4. Roy Oswalt
5. Chris Capuano
Carpenter vs. Willis is a toss-up. Since Carpenter's still playing and Willis isn't, he gets the nod.
NL ROY
1. Jeff Francouer, Atl
2. Clint Barmes, Col
3. Zach Duke, Pit
None of these three played the whole season, but they're all studs. I'll give the nod to the SI cover boy.
NL MGR
1. Phil Garner
2. Charlie Manuel
3. Ned Yost
All made great second half runs, but Garner gets the nod for getting Houston in.
NL COMEBACK
Pat Burrell
Returned to stud status after a down year.

Utterly Offensive

That is the best way to describe both the Twins and Vikings right now.
In fact, this is not the best time to be a fan of Minnesota pro sports.
It's shocking, and kind of scary, how it has gone from so good to so bad so quickly, in all four of the major pro sports.
Think about it.
The Minnesota Wild missed all of last season due to the NHL lockout, and the last season they played before the lockout, was a dissapointment.
A team on the rise coming off a trip to the NHL Western Conference Finals, they ended up missing the playoffs.
The Timberwolves also made the Western Conference Finals before their most recent season.
A year that began with talk of competing for an NBA title ended with the odd sight of Kevin McHale awkwardly manning the bench, as every player other than Kevin Garnett was put on the trade block. It was a scarily quick and ugly fall.
Then there was the Twins, who made the reasonable, if in hindsight unlikely, assessment that they could score enough runs with Michael Cuddyer, Justin Morneau, Nick Punto and Jason Bartlett in their lineup, to not only win their 4th straight AL Central crown, but actually go a step further, and win the World Series.
Thanks only to a pitching staff that has been nothing short of spectacular, the Twins will manage to post their fifth straight winning season, but they are not even within sniffing distance of the playoffs, and with many players approaching free-agancy and arbitration-eligibility in a dried-up market, the direction the team is headed, for the first time in a few years, is uncertain.
Which brings us to the Vikings, the consensus pick to be 2005 NFC North Champions.
It's hard to come up with a truly coherent assessment of their first two games, because they have been so bad in so many ways, that it's hard to single anything out.
I like Mike Tice well enough, but it's just kind of sad and comical to see his team so clearly, obviously and utterly outcoached every week.
There was no discernable game plan on offense in really either game.
I was not a big fan of Scott Linehan, (who I should point out didn't look so great Sunday after having a great opener), because Linehan ignored the run too much and was pass happy. But hell, at least he HAD a game plan.
My first guess after Sunday was that Tice would demote Loney back to O-line coach and make himself Offensive Coordinator, and the late Sunday papers said that he has in fact done that.
I'm not convinced by any means that's the answer, but I understand it. Tice's balls are THIS CLOSE to the bandsaw today, so if it's his ass he might as well be the one calling the plays.
The running game looked okay early, but they were down 14-0 right away and had no choice but to abandon it.
Yes, the defense was bad, but I have a hard time blaming them when Culpepper couldn't keep possession of the ball for more than three plays at a time.
I've seen some very, very bad QB's in this league over the years, (most of them have played for the Bears and Lions) but I'm not sure anyone of them looked as clueless as Culpepper did.
Last week he was bad and somehow this week, he found a way to be worse.
If he comes out like this again next week, I absolutely do not understand how you don't bring in Brad Johnson, because that's why we signed him.
There is no point in investing money in a solid backup if you wont use him.
What's there to motivate Daunte to play well if he knows the coach won't bench him.
And isn't the whole reason for Brad being such a great backup - you know the, "He's a veteran, he's been through the ups and downs, he can keep his head on straight through adversity, etc, etc, etc" something that this team could really use now?
I'm not saying he should start this week, but you've got to at least be wiling to pull the trigger.
Next week the Vikings host the Saints, who last year ranked dead last in the NFL in defense, even worse than the Vikings. And they added noone of significance to that defense over the offseason.
If the Vikings, who still haven't scored an offensive touchdown (the garbage time run by Daunte doesn't count in my book) can't put up, hell at least some yards, let alone points, than you know this things is completely fucked.
It's been quite some time since an NFL coach has been fired midseason, especially in the first half of the season.
With Zygi Wilf promising to be hands on, Tice is clearly in danger of ending that trend.
It's just bad to be a Minnesota fan right now. Bad, bad, bad.

Way to go assholes

Have a look at the two guys who have assembled the most frustrating, maddening, exruciating, offensively inept team I've ever seen.
It has really gotten bad.
The Twins are still mathematically in the wild card race, which makes it especially difficult to watch them on TV, because even as the losses pile up Dick Bremer continues to try and give every game the 'pennant fever-CATCH IT' treatment:
"Tonight the Twins battle the Royals in a marquee September matchup with serious playoff impli- SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!! ITS OVER!!!!!!
I'm glad Kyle Lohse, Carlos Silva and Brad Radke have complained in the papers recently.
The pitchers have carried this team remarkably this year, and as soon as the offense has one good game Gardy starts pulling guys and saying - "We can't worry about people's feelings around here"
Oh yeah, is that why you play Shannon Stewart in LF?
Or why you stuck with Joe Mays in the rotation way too long?
Or why you never had the balls to send Morneau to the minors?
Man, Gardy has had a terrible season as a manager.
Look how well Jason Bartlett has played since he came back. Gee, nice of Gardy to give the rookie all of 3 weeks before sending him down.
He tries to motivate players in the wrong way, he can't make a lineup....it'll never happen, but if Gardy got fired, I wouldnt complain.
For Gardy to take shots at his pitchers, and to yank them early from starts (you're not in the race dickhead, nice excuse) is disgraceful.
Radke, Silva and Lohse are easily the best 2 thru 4 starters in baseball, and they've had walking shitheads hitting for them all year. If I was them, I'd walk thru the dugout with middle fingers extended after every inning I pitched. They have one bad inning and suddenly Gardy is a tough guy.
And how about batting Juan Castro behind Morneau. Brilliant.
How the hell is Morneau ever going to hit homers with utility infielders batting behind him?
This team has lost SO MANY games by a run or two that could've been won were it not for a series of bad decisions.
One of my favorite examples: in a game earlier this year, LeCroy, the slowest man in sports, is on 2nd, and Lew Ford is up to bat. Gardy calls for the bunt, and Ford lays down a bunt that, admittedly wasn't very good, and LeCroy is thrown out by about 25 feet, but even a good bunt would not likely have done the job.
Ford comes back to the dugout and asks why Gardy called for the bunt with LeCroy on 2nd (good question). Gardy blows a gasket, gives Ford the "I'm the manager, not you" speech and benches him.
Way to go, Gardy. The guy who once ironed a shirt he was wearing is smarter than you. Might as well bench him for it.
The scary thing is this team is most likely going to return virtually completely intact.
Make no mistake, friends, this is a AAA lineup - and a bad one at that.
If I were Torii Hunter I'd ask the Twins to triple my salary, because that's how much better he is than anyone they have right now, except for maybe Mauer.
This is our lineup next year - I'm sure the White Sox are peeing themselves in fear:

Stewart LF
Punto 2B
Mauer C
Hunter CF
LeCroy DH
Morneau 1B
Jones RF
Cuddyer 3B
Bartlett SS
Wow, scary! There are guys in Japan that hit better than 70% of that lineup.
Hey, now that I think of it, that's not a bad idea. Maybe the Twins should look for some Japanse guys. Because I don't think we're going to see them go out and sign Jeff Kent or Gary Sheffield this spring.

.237-18-64

Those are the numbers of Justin Morneau, the Twins supposed Paul Bunyan.
He hit a 3-run homer last night that was basically the difference in the game, though he was back in the 7-hole doing it.
I've criticized Gardy for moving Morneau in and out of the cleaup spot this year, but lately he has shown to be utterly incapable of handling it.
I don't think anyone is ready to give up on Morneau, but he faces more pressure during the off-season than any Twin.
He has to get off to a good start next year, and he has to have 30-40 homers by the end.
It does make you wonder what happens in the off-season with these guys, because if you'll remember back, Morneau had a horrific off-season.
He had all kinds of illnesses, and basically couldn't do anything until spring training.
Does that have something to do with his crappy season?
Another factor of course, is that he hit 19 homers in 65 games last year, which made the whole league sit up and take notice (and scout him, adjust to him, and now, beat him).
Now it's time for Morneau and the Twins coaching staff to make adjustments in return.
Teach the kid to layoff the slider down in the zone.
Let him go the other way with the ball instead of pulling 4-6-3 DP's all the time.
Hell, just give him a fighting chance, because too many times this year he's looked overmatched - when last year he looked like the next Jim Thome.

Baker's the Man

Scott Baker appears to be pretty good. He still hasn't had a bad start in the big leagues.
This weekend was bad - because they lost another series to a losing team, and they blew another gem from Santana.
But as terrible as the Twins are outside of their pitching, they really aren't out of the race as long as the pitching keeps up like this.
This might be the best pitching staff, top to bottom, in baseball in a long time. The Twins are 69-62, and they have done that with a AAA lineup. That is no exaggeration, this lineup would fit in perfectly in the Pacific Coast League.
I guess it goes to show the old adage is true, that good pitching beats good hitting, because the Twins have a winning record.
Terry Ryan is still talking like he could make a move in the next two days, (the waiver deadline, which is the final deadline, is Aug. 31) but I would be stunned if something happened there.
On Sept. 1, rosters can be expanded (up to 40, but teams never add that many because they'd have to pay them all).
Expect the Twins to call up:
IF Luis Rodriguez, who went down to call up Baker
OF Jason Tyner, a veteran stolen base machine who can play all 3 outfield spots
C Rob Bowen, remember him?
IF Luis Rivas, remember him?
P Travis Bowyer, who has a high 90's heater and was the AAA closer this year
P Boof Bonser, who had a decent year in AAA, and of course...
P Francisco Liriano, the golden boy. I hope they bring him along slow, because the hype around him has gotten huge. He's been mentioned in the last two issues of SI, and Baseball America called him the top pitching prospect in the minors.

Same shit, different day

There have been many, many times that I've wanted to use that as my lead in a story about Augie football, but of course, I can't. That's the beauty of being my own editor at TwinsTown. I can do whatever the hell I want..
Had the Twins swept the Sox, I'd be getting really excited..
They nearly came back from down 6-0 last night, and tied the score today in the 9th, only to lose in xtra innings.
There could have been no better way to ensure a White Sox choke job than to pull off two big comeback wins.
And as much as we can take solace in that we at least scared the bejesus out of the Sox in these last two games, the bottom line is that the Sox won the series.
And those offensive woes of June and July? They haven't totally gone away, you might notice.
As I said before, I'm still not convinced.
I'm starting to lose my patience with Gardy..
No surprise there I guess, but I'm starting to wonder if he's the manager that can lead the Twins to a title.
I'll get into more detail on that later.

That was fun

Maybe I'm just an old fashioned purist, but I love a good pitchers duel.
Last night was as good a ball game as you'll ever see.
Terrific pitching, couragous defense, and a dramatic game winning homer to break up a no-no.
They've won 4 srtaight against the Sox.
But if Shannon Stewart is out for any lenght at all, they're in even deeper shit than they've been in.
Joe Mays goes against Mark Buehrle tonight.
That doesn't sound good, but ya never know.

Naked Pictures of a left-fielder

First off - a warning.
When I typed the name Shannon Stewart into a seach engine, looking for a picture of the Twins leftfielder to use for this entry, I was bombarded with nude photos of a healthy looking young lady with the same name who apparently posed for some magazine that had something to do with bunny rabbits. It wasn't until about page 8 that I found any shots that had anything to do with baseball. This ended up taking a while.
So if you're planning on looking for pictures of Dick Bremer's favorite player, make sure you're not at work. You might get in trouble.
As for those Twins, they are now 2.5 games out of the wild card, essentially disallowing me to disavow them.
Kyle Lohse and JC Romero both have been placed on waivers, claimed, and pulled back, meaning that, by rule, they can not be traded the rest of the season. Since they were the only cards to play the Twins really had, we are basically assured that the Twins will play out the season with what they have.
It's funny, the last three years as the Twins have coasted to division titles, I've occasionally heard complaints from fans that there was no drama, that it was too bad Chicago couldn't give the Twins a true, exciting September pennant race.
Well, now we have one.
I have to admit, it'll be pretty exciting if the Twins do go right down to the wire.
I recently compared Shannon Stewart and Lew Ford to Randy Bush and Chad Allen, respectively.
Over the last week, those two played more like Rickey Henderson and Kirby Puckett, respectively.
And Matt LeCroy is hitting. And Cuddyer. And Mauer and Bartlett, etc.
The guy we're still waiting on is Morneau, and if Torii Hunter doesn't come back (and it sounds like he won't, at least not until October) Morneau is the one guy who has to get it going for the Twins to have a chance.
Baker and Liriano will be here Sept.1, and that will help the pitching, but we all know that hasn't been the problem.
This team is still highly flawed, I still don't see Ford as more than a fourth outfielder, and I still think the best days of Stewart and maybe even Jacque Jones are behind them.
I don't know where he's going to come from, but the Twins have to add a bat, a big one, for next year.
But at least they've set things up to be exciting this fall.
Worth mentioning: To be eligible for the playoffs, players must be called up by Aug. 31. Rosters don't expand until Sept. 1.
That means the Twins better find a way to get Liriano on there by the 31st.
Just in case.

I Think This List is Going to Keep Growing

The rumour mill is on fire around MLB, as there have been whispers for weeks that two more players, described as "bigger than Palmeiro" have tested positive for steroids.
The two names that have surfaced are Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon.
In what can only be deemed pure hearsay, the two apparently were informed of their positive test, appealed, lost and are now awaiting MLB's formal announcement.
Clemens, who at age 42 is having his best season ever, was roughed up last night.

My gut feeling is that these rumours are true, and I have a feeling that this will continue.

I'm Still Not Convinced

Let me just say that if Torii Hunter was not on the D.L., I would really like the Twins chances of coming back and getting the wild card.
Really.
But with Torii still on the shelf, I just don't see it happening.
Everyone's all excited about Nicky 'walks, bunts, 'N' steals' Punto, Brent Abernathy, the resurgence of Cuddyer and Ford, etc., but no matter how great the pitching is, I don't think they can catch the Yankees. (Screw the A's, they won't be there)
I will say it was really nice to sweep the White Sox, and nice to see LeCroy hit 2 homers. A little satisfying, and they even beat Mark Buehrle (I know I spelled that wrong but I'm not going to look it up).
The team's actually been fun to watch this week. Frisbie is doing cartwheels.
Here's the thing about the Twins, though - their everyday players are not only not as good as they'd hoped, but not even as good as the Twins think they are now.
At this point in his career, Shannon Stewart is not Rickey Henderson, he's a right-handed Randy Bush.
Justin Morneau is not Kent Hrbek (yet), he's Tony Clark.
Joe Mauer is not Don Mattingly (yet), he's Jeff Cirillo.
Nick Punto is not Chuck Knoblauch, he's Denny Hocking.
Jason Bartlett is not Greg Gange (yet), he's Jeff Reboulet.
Michael Cuddyer is not Gary Gaetti, he's Scott Leius.
Lew Ford is not Dan Gladden, he's Chad Allen.
Jacque Jones is not Shane Mack, he's Bobby Higginson.
And so on.
Everyone (for the most part, present company included) nodded in agreement when the Twins said this year's lineup would score more runs. But use those other names: Clark, Cirillo, Hocking, Reboulet, Leius, Allen, Higginson, Bush....that's one shitty lineup. And that's what the Twins, essentially, have.
But now with the Twins playing well again, several questions are raised.
Is Santana regaining his 2004 Cy-Young form, and is he still in the hunt to win the award this year?
Will Abernathy get a shot at the starting 2B job next year?
What the hell are we supposed to make of Michael Cuddyer?
Will Scott Baker replace Joe Mays in the rotation soon?
Will Francisco Liriano replace JC Romero as the LH setup guy?
Will Torii Hunter be rushed back to help, even if it's only to DH?
Will Terry Ryan try again to make a deal for a hitter, and if so, can he sneak it through the waiver wire?
Will a Twins hitter ever hit 3 homers in a game again?
Why did Matthew LeCroy stop dying his hair?

I Don't Know

It's not because of laziness that I haven't touched this space in over a week (although I was pretty damn busy last week, I put in about 20 hours of OT following minor league football).
It's because I haven't known what to say. I don't know what to think about this team right now.
They're suddenly, shockingly, inexplicably playing good baseball.
They're still a long way from me considering them back in the playoff race, but I get the sinking feeling that they're going to play just well enough to force us all to pay attention, only to fall short.
Maybe that's the Viking fan in me talking; the Twins do, after all, have a pretty good record when it comes to not letting down their fans.
I'm still just hoping they finish above .500. I guess we'll see what happens.

The Hitters - Who comes back?

Twins led 4-0 Monday. Lost 5-4. I'm fucking shocked.
In continuing the discussion from the other day...where the Twins roster stands for next year - the position players.
Well who's to blame?
Obviously the main reason the Twins aren't going to the playoffs this year is their offense, or lack thereof, but specifically which player(s) deserve blame?
After a closer look, the answer would seem to be pretty much everyone.
Everyone rips on Morneau and Cuddyer in particular, and yes, they've been a dissapointment.
Cuddyer has had plenty of time to prepare for a starting job, so his .260, 8 homers are certainly a bummer. Some bemoan the failure to resign Corey Koskie, but I won't. Koskie has 17 RBIs this year.
Morneau is hitting .249. Considering he's been about average on defense, you could argue the Twins would've been better off with Mientkiewicz at first this year.
Maybe so, but Morneau will still probably end up with around 20-25 homers, and 85 or so RBIs. Not what we all hoped for, but not bad for a guy who was almost eligible for Rookie of the Year.
I'm not letting these guys off the hook by any means. IF either of them had done what we all hoped, the Twins might be within striking distance of the White Sox right now, let alone the wild card.
But they are by no means the only guilty ones.
It might be time for a little housecleaning.
* Torii Hunter and Joe Mauer are the only two Twins who I won't criticize for this year, and I'm giving them both a break.
Hunter was having his usual year in which the numbers were good, but you got the feeling he could do better. But with his baserunning, hard nosed play and attitude, he was again the heart and soul of the team.
Mauer is 22, and he's batting over .300. Tough to complain. But batting 3-hole, the RBIs need to be way, way higher.
* I still think Morneau is a 40-homer guy. I guess nobody bothered to wonder if pitchers would make adjustments on a 23 year old who hit 19 homers in 65 games last year. That's what they did and we're seeing him struggle with it. But Morneau is not David McCarty. He's the real deal. He'll be okay. But he can't wait another year. He has to produce in 2006. And by produce I mean 30-40 homers.
* I wouldn't mind if the Twins told Shannon Stewart to take a hike. Yeah, yeah, we always hear about how he's such a 'professional hitter' and how he has such great at-bats and influences the lineup. Well, he's hitting .278, has a mediocre OBP of about .325, doesn't steal any bases, and is a liability in the outfield.
If Lew Ford is the alternative, by all means keep him. But let's stop pretending the guy is Rickey Henderson. There are many better leadoff hitters in the game today.
* I think it's finally safe to say Jacque Jones isn't going to be a 40-homer guy, which is supposedly the reason we're supposed to be afriad to trade him. But I will say that given the way the Twins young hitters failed them this year, I wouldn't be surprised if the Twins are a little more hesitant to bump him in favor of Jason Kubel than they would've been last year.
Locks - Hunter, Mauer, Morneau
That's it. Really. Isn't that sad? There's only three position players on the entire roster that the Twins absolutely have to keep.
Maybe bring back, maybe not - Stewart, Jones, Cuddyer, LeCroy, Glenn Williams, Mike Redmond, Castro
I think the Twins need to take a long hard look at their outfield, but Stewart will almost certainly be back, so Jones is probably gone. I would say Cuddyer blew his chance to be the everyday 3B, but as long as he's cheap I dont mind him off the bench.
LeCroy is fun to make fun of, but he's still a decent hitter. Still rather have David Ortiz though, wouldn't you?
Glenn Williams had a nice two weeks before he got hurt. I suppose he deserves another shot, but he's not the answer. Redmond is an excellent backup catcher, and Castro has actually been even better this year than could be expected.
Get lost - Ford, Rivas
Going into this year, the Twins feared Lew Ford's 2004 season, in which he hit .299 with 15 homers, was a fluke. They were right. The guy is worthless, hitting .250 with 4 homers. (Hasn't stopped Gardy from batting him in the 3-hole, though)
Rivas had plenty of chances.
Still feeling 'em out - Bartlett, Tiffee, Mike Ryan, Punto, Luis Rodriguez, Jason Kubel
If he's healthy, Kubel will be a starter next year. That makes me nervous. He looks like a great prospect, but there is no longer any reason to trust Twins hitting prospects.
Bartlett is the Twins top middle infield prospect, but that might say as much about their minor league depth as it does about him.
Tiffee is a switch-hitter. Aside from that, he hasn't shown a whole lot this year. I dont think he's a better alternative to Cuddyer.
Mike Ryan could be a great bench player for years. And nothing more.
Punto and Rodriguez have both done a nice job this year. But they seem more like platoon players or utility guys. I'm not sold on either one being an everyday player.
Ever.
The Twins as a franchise are still in good shape, with a very strong minor league system, and a big league team that will return many young players next year that contributed significantly to a team that will likely win 80 games or so.
But it seems to me they need to go out and get one player this offseason. Doesn't matter what position he plays, they have room in the infield and outfield, and they need a D.H.
I think Mauer and Morneau will only get better. And maybe Kubel will be more prepared than Bartlett was this year.
But their infield, aside from Morneau, is no scarier at the plate than a Brent Gates, Scott Leius, and Ron Coomer-led group.
We need another guy.

A Pitch for '06

It wasn't that bad of a week for the Twins, considering how things had been going, but if they think that winning a couple cheap ones and throwing in an inexplicable 12-0 rout means they can start talking about the playoffs agian, (which they did after Saturday's lame, 4-3 win) they might want to slow down.
The Twins won't make the playoffs this year, but I guess it would be nice to see them at least finish over .500 to keep their streak of winning seasons alive (this year would make 5 straight).
But that really doesn't matter, so, being that most Twins fans are now treating the season's final two months more like an extended spring training, or at least, an audition to make a case for next year's roster, I'll take a look at who should, and who should not, be on the Twins roster next year.
Starting with the pitchers: (btw, this is not what I think the Twins will do, it's what I would like to see them do)

Locks - Santana, Radke, Silva, Nathan, Rincon, Baker
For a team that has a league-best 3.70 ERA, you might think that there would be more pitchers that I'd be insistent on bringing back, but with so many great arms in the minors, the Twins have a lot of options.
Santana is obvious, though it'd be nice to see him get back to even close to Cy-Young form next year (his ERA was 2.61 last year, this year it's 3.68)
Radke, again, has gotten screwed by his team. A 3.71 ERA and a 7-10 record. This has been going on so long that I'm starting to think he'd be better off if he signed somewhere else. He's had so many 12-15 seasons because he didnt' get any runs, that if he'd played his whole career for the Yankees or Texas or some other team that could hit, he'd be closing in on 200 career wins.
The Twins, however, would not be better off. Radke will be back, and he's at the age where alot of off-speed pitchers hit their prime.
Silva has been the staff ace this year. They need to lock him up.
Nathan has been lights-out again, save for one bad week, and Rincon has recovered nicely from the steroid thing.
As for Baker, he's ready. I don't care how they make room for him, they just have to do it. Either that or trade him for a hitter. Having all this great pitching talent doesn't do any damn good if you sit on it.
Not-so fast - Crain, Liriano, Mays,
Mays would be more effective on grass - in the dome he'll always be inconsistent because there'll be days where all the ground balls get through the holes. Plus he makes over 7 million a year. He's made a nice comeback from the year off, but I'd let him go.
Crain was looking like the best young reliever in baseball back in May, but even then his strikeout numbers were scarily low. Now that's catching up with him. His ERA is 2.98, but considering it was 0.65 a couple months ago, that's not impressive.
In 49 innings he has only 17 K's and 19 walks. I'm not saying he should go to the minors, he shouldn't. But maybe the Twins should take the 'untouchable' tag off of him when it comes to trades. They could get alot for him, they should at least listen.
Liriano has been so goddamn nasty in AAA, (he's given up something like 18 hits in 55 innings with 70 K's) that fans are losing patience. They want to see this guy, especially since he's the reason the Twins didn't pick up Alfonso Soriano.
But there's still a big gap between AAA and the bigs, and the Twins steadfastly insist that he's not ready.
I'd still like to see him called up to pitch out of the bullpen for a couple weeks to get his feet wet, and then we'll see. But I don't think he'll be in the rotation to start next year.
Don't give up yet - Lohse
Everyone's favorite whipping boy, but Lohse has had a nice year. His ERA is a very respectable 4.38, not a heck of a lot worse than Santana and Radke. I still wouldn't rule out a move to the bullpen, but he's still relatively cheap (under 3 million) and could get a decent return in a trade.
Don't forget -Gassner, Guerrier, Travis Bowyer, Boof Bonser
Granted it's been mostly mop-up duty, but Guerrier has posted a 2.93 ERA in 43 innings this year. Apparently he's not totally worthless. Gassner has been hurt since his early season call-up, but he showed promise. If Crain fizzles, Bowyer is a righty with a high-90's fastball who could fill his role. The Twins once viewed Crain as the eventual successor to Nathan, they now look at Bowyer. Bonser has had a nice year in AAA, and might get a September callup.
Get the hell outta here - Romero, Mulholland
Teams are always looking for lefties (hence Mulholland's continued ability to get a paycheck) and they're always reluctant to give up on a lefty with good stuff (hence Romero's continued presence in Minnestota).
But it's time. Mulholland was a nice story, a good guy who had a great career and hoped to get a WS ring with the Twins. I would've loved to see him do that, but it wasn't meant to be. SO long, Terry.
As for JC, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
He's got great stuff, but he's a chickenshit. Can't stomach pressure situations. To tell the truth, if I had to bring back one of these guys, I think I'd take Mulholland.
There's the pitchers. We'll see if Terry and Gardy see things anywhere close to how I do.
Next time I'll do the position players.

We made a big pickup after all

If you're a Twins fan, I'm sure you're starved for good news.
Here ya go.
When the Twins called up Jason Bartlett it left an opening on their AAA roster. To fill that opening they signed (Drum Roll) Brian Buchanan!
That's right, the same Bucky Buchanan that the Twins TRADED TO GET JASON BARTLETT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
That's right. The Twins got Bartlett for Bucky back in 2002, and now he's back. For nothing. We HOSED San Diego on that one. To be honest, with the way this Twins have been hitting, he should be called up and inserted into the cleanup spot.
Let's start the campaign now. We want Bucky!!!!

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Let the record show that the Minnesota Twins 2005 season was laid to rest on Sunday, July 31, at 3:00 central time.
The team had suffered a near fatal wound on Friday the 29th, when their best player and inspirational leader suffered a season-ending ankle injury.
Attempts were made in vain by the team's General Manager to resuscitate the season by acquiring a highly skilled (and highly paid) mercenary, but when no suitable reinforcements could be found, the team, and it's season, passed quietly.
You'll get no complaints from me, by the way, that a deal was not done.
The Twins and their fans were kidding themselves if they thought any hitter, even Manny Ramirez, would be able to save this team once Hunter went down.
The minute Torii was carried off on a stretcher, Terry Ryan should've started looking for ways to dump Romero, Lohse, Boone, Mays, Cuddyer, Mulholland, Ford, Rivas, and any other underachiever or big contract that could get anything in return.
With Lohse and Mays staying put, the Twins can't even call up Scott Baker and Francisco Liriano to get some starts.
I'm ready for those two, as well as Jason Bartlett and maybe even Denard Span (speedy outfielder hitting .330 in AA) to start getting some PT.
This season is over.
Some fans will undoubtedly complain about the team 'giving up', and the Strib's Pat Reusse takes that view today in a terrific column that is bitingly accurate, albeit a little quick to blame - http://www.startribune.com/stories/503/5535999.html
I'm not going to complain, and I'm not going to blame Terry Ryan.
My guess is that as hard as he supposedly tried to make a deal today, his heart probly wasn't in it knowing Hunter is gone.
I will resist the tempation to turn this space into VikingsTown (for now) and try to look for positives the last two months.
Having said that, I think it's likely that the Twins will end up in 4th place in the AL Central, and possibly below .500.
Not trying to sound fatalistic, it's just that this team seriously lacks fire, and the silence of the front office speaks volumes to the players. They're not stupid.
They know a white flag when they see one.

To Soriano, or not to Soriano

If you don't know who Francisco Liriano (right) is by now, it's time to get familiar real quick.
He's not only the top pitching prospect in the Twins organization, ahead of potential studs Scott Baker, JD Durbin, Travis Bowyer, Boof Bonser and others, he's one of the top pitching prospects in all of baseball.
The Twins got him in the Joe Nathan-AJ Pierzynski trade.
He's lefthanded, throws in the high 90's, and is 4-1 with a 2.15 ERA since getting called up to AAA a month ago. Oh, and he's 21.
Entering this season he had struck out 347 batters in 319 minor league innings.
Some scouts have dared to call him, 'The next Santana, only better'.
The trade deadline is 2 hours, 40 minutes from this writing, and ESPN's Buster Olney reports that the Twins can have Alfonso Soriano if they are willing to part with Liriano.
I'll go on record right now that if the Twins make that deal, and assuming that they don't plan on keeping Soriano beyond this year, that it would be a monumentally bad deal. The kind of deal that could send us back towards a 1993-esque downward spiral. And that one took 8 years to get out of.
If the Twins actually tried to keep Soriano, then maybe I could live with it.
But Liriano is just soooooo good. And with Torii Hunter likely out for the year, this season is looking more and more like a lost cause.
Why trade away the top prospect in the game for a rent-a-player for a season that isn't going anywhere anyway? Makes no sense at all.
Either way, the Twins are apparently going to make a deal of some kind.
Olney was just asked on TV to name one team that guaranteed will make a deal by the deadline.
He said the Twins.

Manny in Minny?

Just throwin' this out there.
Manny has asked to be traded. Again. Manny's reasons are that he's tired of 'not having a private life' because the East Coast media is so pervasive.Theo Epstein, the Sox GM, has supposedly wanted to trade Manny ever since they won the Series.
The Sox have expressed interest in Joe Mays, Kyle Lohse and JC Romero.
Why not offer those three, plus maybe Jacque Jones or Lew Ford, or hell, both of them, for Manny.
If Manny wants to play for a quieter team not in the media spotlight, but one that is still a contender, Minnesota seems like a good option.
The catch, of course, is that Manny makes about $16 million a year.
The Twins would be dumping about 10-12 million if they traded the players mentioned above, but they already were going to dump that much money just to get under next year's payroll, without adding a $16 million contract on top of it.
To fit Manny, they'd basically have to completely break the bank, because they wouldn't be able to trade enough salary to fit him in for next year.
Same thing for Soriano.
Fun to dream, though, I guess.
A 40-homerun hitting right-handed bat would look really good in the middle of Gardy's lineup.

Take That, Leiter

Al Leiter tried his damndest to give the Twins the game last night, but the Twins would have none of it.
7 hits, 5 walks, a hit batter in 5 innings? And one run? Nice try, Leiter.
But the bats came alive (a little) and The Boone made a couple great plays in the field, and Leiter got his way in a Twins win.
Why am I not more excited?
Maybe because I am starting to doubt this team.
And I dont just mean doubt them, like, 'Hmm...maybe these guys aren't the best team ever.'
Maybe it's more like, 'Hmm....maybe this team kinda sucks and I should start getting ready for the Vikings and their autumn of discontent.'
Basically I'm counting down the hours to the trading deadline. Not like I'm excited to see if we land Soriano or Sweeney (we won't) but more because I'm anxious to see if Terry Ryan sees it like I do and decides to be a seller and not a buyer.
I think the Twins are going to be fine. They still have more young talent than any team in the sport.
But I don't really like their chances of hanging on to that wild card spot.
Maybe this year is just a process they have to go through.
They're at the 100 game mark (54-46), but there's as good a chance of them going 25-37 the rest of the way as there is of them going 42-20.

A Proper Send-Off

Bret Boone's time with the Twins appears to be nearing its end. The local papers are already writing his obituary, while wringing their own hands of all the jumping up and down they did about the deal in the first place.
So I thought I'd put together a nice photo essay summing up The Boone's tenure in Twinkies pinstripes.
Which photo best sums up Project Boone?

The Strikeout

The Boone strikes out fairly often these days. He often looks uncomfortable at the plate, swinging at bad pitches, or at least "pitcher's pitches", while taking hittable pitches right down the middle. His reaction of throwing the bat in the air and catching it in a singular, violent motion, seems to suggest insecurity. He wants everyone to know he can hit, and that he is upset that he struck out, and that he intends to get a hit his next time up.

The Muff

The Boone has won four gold gloves, and was brought to Minnesota as much for his glove as his bat.
But, much like his bat (.195, 1 walk, all singles), his glove has been a dissapointment.
When the Boone misses a ball he feels he should not have, he will sit or kneel on the ground where the mishap took place, again making it clear to all those around him that the Boone expects more of himself, and that he very well should have made the play.

The Double Play

The Boone has done this fairly regularly since joining the Twins. He's had plenty of opportunities, batting at the top and/or middle of the Twins order.
After killing a rally by grounding an 0-2 slider that was a foot outside to the left side for an easy 5-4-3 twin-killing, The Boone is left only one option - the same option pretty much any rally killing player is left with. Turn back towards the infield, and stare blankly with your hands on your head as you think to yourself - "It would have been better for my team if I had struck out."

The Agony

The Boone is not used to losing. It hurts. When he loses, or goes 0-for-4, or commits a costly error, it is more than he can bear.
This is a guy who once batted 4th for the American League All-Star team. This is a guy who put up numbers no 2B in history ever has. This is a guy who helped the Mariners win 114 games in 2001.
When that kind of success eludes the Boone, he is left no choice but to wretch on the field, as he attempts to purge the mediocrity from his body.

The Help

There have been suggestions that some of the numbers that The Boone accumulated in his glory years were obtained by less than ethical means.
I will make no such accusation.

The Tom-Hanks-on-Coke

Seriously look at that picture.
I swear this guy was in Turner and Hooch.
It looks like he shot an episode of Bosom Buddies, threw on an M's cap and buried his face in a mountain of blow.

Still Waiting

You may have heard that the Reds finally traded Joe Randa this weekend.
To the Padres.
For next to nothing.
So while the Twins lost three of five to Detroit, they did nothing to help their still feeble offense.
Meanwhile, Kyle Lohse stunk in Sunday's start, a day after Scott Baker (pictured) looked terrific in his second M.L. start. Baker also looked great in his first big league start, losing 2-1.
It couldn't be more apparent that Lohse or Mays (preferrably Lohse) are expendable. Baker is ready.
The Strib appears to be predicting a Lohse and or Romero for Bill Mueller and Kevin Millar deal with Boston.
Wowee, hooray, hooray.
It's gonna take more than that.
I still say the best, and at this point damn near the only option, is Mike Sweeney.
If they could get Alfonso Soriano, great. I don't see that happening.
*Big day for Morneau on Saturday. Is he coming around, or was it a fluke?
*Man, is Lew Ford bad right now.
*The Shannon Stewart in the 3-hole experiment is over. It was a good idea on Gardy's part, but no one else is capable of leading off, and Stewart didn't do much batting 3rd.
*The clock is ticking on Bret Boone. Hurry up and figure it out Booney. Right now you're doing no better (and possibly worse) than Luis Rivas.

Is there anyone that can help this lineup?

That's the question.
Thursday's 10-run explosion notwithstanding, the Twins lineup can't produce runs at all, and everyone is clamoring for Scott Ulger to be fired and for Terry Ryan to go get a hitter.
Who's he going to get?
Bill Mueller?
Hey, I'd take him if Boston would be willing to take JC Romero off our hands, that's a good deal. But Mueller is a No. 7 or 8 hitter, and we already have about 12 of those on our roster.
Interestingly enough, rumors have surfaced (namely on ESPN's insider page) that the Twins could be players for both Mike Piazza (no shit) and Alfonso Soriano.
I assume either of them would DH, but I would gauge the odds of Mike Piazza ever donning a Twins uniform at about 100 to 1.
Soriano on the other hand might not be totally far-fetched.
I have a feeling Terry Ryan might have something cooking. and if he does it might be big, because he has to know that Bill Mueller and Joe Randa, as nice as they are, really won't make much difference on this team. It's time to get drastic.
Still, Soriano is probly a long shot, so I'll hold out hope for Mike Sweeney.
While not the hitter he once was, he's still the goods, with experience, power, patience, and a hunger for postseason. He's hitting .305 with 13 homers. And he's sick of losing in KC.
Would KC make a deal within the division?
I think so. They're not going anywhere, and Sweeney's best days are behind him, so taking whatever they could get would be wise on their part.
How about Cuddyer and Dave Gassner for Sweeney?
*Sounds like Justin Morneau might soon be making a trip to Rochester. Wonder if T-Ry could get the Mets to throw in Dougie baseball in a Piazza deal.
*Brad Radke got ejected from Thursday's game (he wasn't pitching) from the dugout. Cool.
*Matt LeCroy needs more AB's. This is the guy they kept over David ORtiz. I'm not saying he's as good as Ortiz, he isn't. But if you made the decision, you might as well play him.
LeCroy has the best OPS on the team, and Lew Ford is becoming the next Rich Becker.
*I have a hunch that if Brad Radke could make all 34 of his starts against the Twins in a given year, that he'd go 29-2 with a 1.25 ERA. And he knows it.

Mario would be proud

Twins skipper Ron Gardenhire was spittin' mad with starter Carlos Silva after Monday's 3-2 Twins loss.
"We scored," Gardy said. "In the seventh inning we got a run. I mean, what the hell does he want? Two runs, 83 pitches through nine innings? That's just not gettin' it done. Our hitters battled their tails off. To see them work so hard to score not just one run but two and not get rewarded with a 'W' is really frustrating."
* The Twins are batting .198 in their 1-4 start to the second half.
* Every position player on the team sucks right now.
* The Strib reports the Twins may be close to a deal sending JC Romero to the BoSOx for 3B Bill Mueller. Whatever. Bill Mueller. Yay. I'm sure the bats'll be scorching with him in the 3-hole.

An eventful (and shitty) weekend

Like I said, alot of stuff going on this weekend.
After Sunday's feeble 4-hit, 10 K performance against John "Cy" Lackey, Gardy got on the phone to Terry Ryan asking if he can call up his son Toby to be the new DH, or so I heard. Granted, Toby is in A-ball, and considered a minor prospect, but hey, Gardy should be ready to try anything by now.
*Jim Souhan's column in the Strib suggests the Twins are considering sending Justin Morneau to the minors, which isn't terribly shocking, as the guy has been horrible.
But think about it. If he goes, the Twins will have a different starter at ALL FOUR INFIELD POSITIONS than they opened the season with (Morneau, Rivas, Barlett, Cuddyer). To have that much chaos in the lineup and still be 49-41 is amazing, and a true testament to the pitching staff, including Gardy and Rick Anderson.
*Saturday was a nice win, coming back from down 4-0 to win 5-4, against Bartolo Colon, no less.
Boone finally got his first hit in his 11th at bat, driving in the eventual game winning run.
It was clutch, coming with 2 outs and a man on third.
You can rip on Boone's 2-for-16 weekend if you want, but remember much of the Twins struggles have come from failing in situations like that one, and Boone is being brought in to be the "professional hitter", not necessarily a savior. He's had some good at-bats, but also struck out alot. Jury still out.
*Mike Ryan hit a 433-foot homer off Colon. I like Ryan. He has value. I hope he sticks around.
*One thing I have to point out that no one is talking about (enough, anyway).
The defense.
The Twins made two first inning errors Saturday, leading to three unearned runs.
This is becoming common.
The Twins are still regarded as a "small ball" team that "plays the game the right way" and blah, blah, blah, and talking heads on ESPN still talk about their great defense but that is a fallacy (phallacy? hmm not sure).
For all the talk of how the Twins needed to get rid of Mientkiewicz, Rivas, Guzman and Koskie, that infield made extremely few errors and won three straight division titles.
This year's bunch kicks the ball around and puts pressure on the pitching.
*A quick note on Rivas: The guy hasn't been getting it done, and no matter how bad he's slumping Bret Boone is an upgrade.
But the Twins would not have won their first AL Central title without in 2002 without Luis, and he deserves a nod for that.
*Can we stop gnashing our teeth every time the White Sox win? Get a clue, it's fucking over. They won it. Time to focus on the wild card.
*Speaking of wild-card, who else doesn't want to have to go down the wire against the Yankees, no matter how bad they've been so far?
*I wonder how long Gardy will stay with the lineup change (Punto leading off, Shannon Stewart in the 3-hole). It's not a bad idea, but it could change if the Twins add a new guy.....

Another new guy?

The guy you see in the picture is Mike Lowell, a three time NL All-Star who the Twins are apparently scouting very seriously. The Marlins have shown interest in Kyle Lohse, so don't be surprised if you see a deal.
Lowell is similar to Bret Boone, in that he has dropped off significantly this year.
Last year Lowell hit .293 with 27 homers and 85 RBIs, and in '03 hit .276 with 32 homers and 105 RBI. This year he's dropped off to .227 with 4 homers. But while Boone is 36, Lowell is 31, so there's a little more reason to think he can be productive.
But geez, instead of getting guys hitting .225 and hoping they turn it around, why don't we just get a guy like Mike Sweeney who we know can hit?

Bye, bye Luis

There were a million things that happened Saturday night that I could get to here, and I will, but not until Monday.
Probably most significant is that the Twins sent Luis Rivas to the minors.
I wouldn't be surprised if we never see him wearing the pinstriped No. 2 again.

A Gardy Shakeup

Saturday's Twins lineup had Nick Punto batting leadoff, and Shannon Stewart in the 3-hole. Mauer hit 4th.
That's kind of a big deal.
I'm not sure if I like it, but I guess I kinda do.
Stewart's been a bit overrated at the top, as his OBP and steals are down to career low levels.
But he's still hitting well, so a move to 3 might be a good idea.
Even though he's hitting over .300, Mauer has only 32 RBIs, not enough.
Lew Ford is not a No. 3 hitter. In fact, Matt LeCroy could be the everyday DH right now and I'd have no problem with that.
I also think Punto can be a good leadoff guy. He almost always has good At-Bats.
At least, it would seem, Gardy is finally willing to do more to shake things up than move Cuddyer to second.

0-4, K - Part II

Two games, 0-8, 2 K's for Booney.
But I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for at least a series because he hasn't played much in the last month (the M's had benched him before they released him).
Good news Friday?
Radke was terrific. Mauer hit a ball that could've should've been a homer.
4 hits, 2 runs...another one run 3-2 loss - that's the bad news.

A little too close?

We always here all about this team chemistry thing and how well these dudes get along.
Maybe they're getting a little carried away with that.

0-4, K

That would be Bret Boone's line in his first game batting 3-hole for the Twins.
I'm not going to make any judgements on one game.
But only two runs were scored, a fine performance by Kyle Lohse was wasted, and a 1-0 White SOx win put the deficit back at 10 games.
Morneau was not in the lineup, so we'll see what happens tonight. I think the Twins picked up Boone as much for Morneau's benefit (and Mauer's) as anybodys.
Just once, (okay 13 or 14 times in this second half) I'd like to see the Twins have one of those 15 run, 22 hit games.
Also worth noting, Gardy told the Strib that Punto will be the 3B when Cuddy comes off the DL.
I don't know if the Twins are interested in Cuddyer taking that role of power utility players he had last year, but he's done as far as being an everyday player.
I think there's a very good chance he'll soon be traded.

What a dork

Our Lord and savior, Bret Boone.

Boone Town

I have to admit, I'm much more excited about the Twins getting Bret Boone than I probably should be.
For as much as I have ripped on Michael Cuddyer (see 'I Hate You Number 5 - A Haiku'), Bret Boone's numbers are actually worse than those of No. 5.
I should also admit that Boone has always been one of my favorite Non-Twins players, even though I always thought he was on Roids. (Why isn't anyone talking about the steroid factor? - the Strib, the Geek, nobody brings it up!?!)
Thing is, as long as we're getting Boone for nothing, it's a great pickup. He's righthanded, still very good with the glove, and he's a VETERAN. Something we need.
Boone has a rep for being a little cocky and that's also a good thing.
I can just see him talking to Morneau:

JM (after a called 3rd strike): "That pitch was totally inside."
BB: "Why didn't you just hit it over the fence, pussy."
JM: "My elbow hurts."
BB: "What are you, 22? I'm 36 and play a positions where you have to do more than stand in one place all game long and I'm not complaining, pussy. God, what's with you Canucks? Do they only play 110 games in the Canadian Leagues? Sack up and start hitting the goddamm ball."

At least I hope so.
Truthfully, if Boone hits 10 homers and drives in 35 runs, that'd be great. If I had to bet money on it, I'd bet that Boone will do allright.
He'd better, because if he sucks again, his career is over.
He's going to be hitting 3-hole, my guess with Mauer moving up to 2.
Ideally, you could have:

LF Stewart
C Mauer
2B Boone
1B Morneau
CF Hunter
RF Jones
DH Ford/LeCroy
3B Punto
SS Castro
-Notice it alternates R/L all the way down. And notice I'm ready for LeCroy to start taking AB's from Lew Ford.

Of course, Gardy is to making lineups what Adam Sandler is to making good movies, so he'll probly bat Morneau 7th or something stupid.
The best news out of all this is that I don't think T-Ry is done. I still think the Twins might be in the market for Joe Randa. If they hold out til the deadline, the Reds might relent in demanding a top prospect.
Then you'd have Randa at 3rd, and presumably Punto at short with Castro as the utility guy. And all of a sudden you have an actual Major League infield.

Boone to be a Twin

The Twins are finalizing a deal to acquire 3-time All-Star and 4-time Gold Glove second baseman Bret Boone.
The M's will reportedly pay his salary.

Breaking down the break

The Holiday weekend has to be considered a success for the Twins.
They had to get at least five of six against KC and TB, and they did just that.
Then they opened a difficult road series with the Golden State Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim California-Los Angeles with a nice win. Scott Baker, the Twins second round draft pick in 2002, makes his long-awaited first Major League start tonight. Baker is one of the top prospects in the Twins entire organization - they're very high on him. I'm excited to see how he does. He pitched one scoreless inning of relief against the D-Rays while Rincon was serving his suspension.
As daunting as the 81/2 game deficit is, the Twins actually have a better record right now than they have at this point in the season in any of their three division championship seasons.
Still, it would be way cooler to hang a banner in the Dome for a fourth straight division title than that of a wild card, so even though there'd be no shame in qualifying for the playoffs that way, (as the last 3 World Series champions have) the Twins still want to find a way to catch their rivals.
The pitching, after a not-quite-brief-enough slump, seems to have righted itself, though Radke and his sore neck remain a question.
The bullpen is also going strong, with Nathan's control problems somewhat under control.
So of course, the big question remains the infield.
Lil' Nicky Punto is back, and that's great, but anyone who thinks he's the savior is wearing their ass for a hat.
Luis Rodriguez has been very good as well. The Twins were never high on him, but he's proving that he belongs in the big leagues.
And Juan Castro seems to get a couple big hits just when you're ready to bench him no matter how good his glove is.
Cuddyer sucks, and is hurt, Williams is hurt, Rivas sucks and is hurt......it remains apparent that the Twins need to add a player here.
The way I see it there are three serious options:
A. Joe Randa
B. Edgardo Alfonzo
C. Bret Boone

A: Randa
Age: 35
Pos: 3B
Bats: R
Salary: 2.15 M
Numbers: .296, 12 HR, 43 RBI, .367 OBP, 20 2B.
Odds of a deal: I'm guessing 10 to 1.
Randa has been discussed at length among the Twins Cities media and blogworld, including here, and I must say the above numbers are pretty damn good for a half season. In fact, he's having his best year since 1999-2000, when he went .314-16-84 and .304-15-106.
Over an 8-year career Randa's seasonal averages are: .287, 14 HR, 82 RBI, 35 2B, .342 OBP. He's never won a gold glove, though he's generally regarded as one of the top 5 or 6 in the game at his position with the glove. With his salary, the Twins could explore keeping him beyond this year, though at his age that'd surprise me. Then again, they need a veteran in that infield somewhere.
The Twins reportedly were close to a deal for Randa, but now reports say the Twins interest in 'The Joker' has cooled, though it isn't clear exactly why. My guess is the Reds asked for a front line prospect like Liriano or Durbin, when the Twins were thinking more along the lines of Cuddyer or Lohse.

B. Alfonzo
Age: 31
Pos: 3B/2B
Bats: R
Salary: 7.5 M
Numbers: .306, 2 HR, 30 RBI, .370 OBP
Odds of a deal: I'm gonna say 15 to 1.
The Twins haven't said this guys name out loud, which I don't know how to take. T-Ry usually plays things close to the vest. But right now he's on the DL, so depending on when he comes back he might not be going anywhere.
Five years ago Alfonzo was one of the top infielders in the game - hence the 7.5 M salary.
In '99 he hit .304 with 27 homers and 108 RBI and 85 walks with the Mets. He followed that up the next year by going .324-25-94, with a .425 OBP, 40 2B, a .542 SLG... the guy was good.
He slumped badly the next year batting .243, and while he rebounded the following season to hit .308 with 16 HR, he's never gotten back to the level of a premier player.
The Giants haven't officially declared themselves as sellers yet, but they're 10 1/2 games out, and seven games under .500.
Chronic injuries have slowed Alfonzo on the bases and in the field. He has a strong arm, and the know-how to play 2nd or 3rd, but he's no Gold Glover.
One problem: The last time the Twins and Giants made a deal, the Twins got Joe Nathan, Boof Bonser and Francisco Liriano for AJ Pierzynski.
Nothing against AJ, but some are calling that the greatest trade in Twins history, considering Bonser and Liriano have both been lights out in the minors.
Giants GM Brian Sabean will be leery of getting ripped off by the Twins again.

C. Boone
Age: 36
Pos: 2B
Bats: R
Salary: 9 M
Numbers: .231, 7HR, 34 RBI
Odds: 4 to 1
In 2001, Boone hit .331 with 37 homers, 141 RBIs, 118 runs, 206 hits....I could go on actually. Let's just say he had a decent season.
The following three seasons weren't quite that good, but he was still pumping out a minimum of 24 homers and 83 RBIs a year. He has also won 4 gold gloves at 2B. He was getting to be a borderline Hall of Fame player.
And now this year has been a disaster.
In 74 games, 52 K's, a .231 avg, 7 homers, a .299 OBP, a .385 SLG.....it's been bad. I won't even mention the potential role the steroid testing may or may not have played in Boone's sudden decline.
But I still think he's not a bad risk.
A change of scenery, and being thrust into the middle of a pennant race, could rejuvenate Boone at the plate.
And because the M's have already placed Boone on waivers, they can't hold out for top prospects from the Twins. After 10 days Boone is a free-agent and can sign with anyone.
The Twins can wait and try to claim him off the waiver wire, but any team with a worse record than the Twins would have first dibs.
Instead the Twins could offer Seattle a low level prospect or Luis Rivas and get Boone before he is exposed. They could even try a package deal and maybe land Eddie Guardado as well.
Either way, what's the risk here? Would the Twins be worse off by adding Boone and dropping Rivas or Abernathy?
No.
It could be a win-win situation for Boone and the Twins.