Ozzie loves Twins, hates Sox

The Twins' Wednesday afternoon win over the White Sox is the kind of win that usually indicates the Twins are in their zone.
Because let's face it, the Twins are as good as anyone in baseball at winning cheaply, and I think scoring 7 runs on 7 hits and 8 walks - including the game-winner with the bases loaded - qualifies.
When games are being won with walks, errors, balks, choppers off the plate, hit batsmen and the like, you know it's safe to believe in them.
This is what they do.

And that's probably what Ozzie Guillen's talking about whenever he blabs about the Twins and how good they are.
Ozzie, who made a few All-Star games as a player and won a rookie of the year award despite being a rather awful offensive player, would've fit in perfect as a Twins infielder. He was the quintessential Piranha.

I of course, think the whole Piranha thing is a bunch of bullshit, and any fan over the age of 7 should be able to see that, too. Still, for the Twins to keep up with Chicago, Detroit and Cleveland, they will need to continue winning their share of head scratchers.

*Ozzie might've made a mistake in bringing in David Aardsma to face Torii Hunter in the 9th.
After the Twins loaded the bases with 1 out against Mike McDougal, Ozzie made the logical move to bring in lefty Boone Logan to get Justin Morneau, and got Aardsma up to face Hunter.
But Logan retired Morneau on one pitch (nice AB there by the way, Justin). Hunter was coming up and Aardsma probably wasn't ready.
Ozzie had a choice: let the lefty Logan face the righty Hunter, or bring in the righty Aardsma even though he was probably not fully warm.
He chose the latter, and Aardsma walked the most impatient hitter on the team on four straight pitches that weren't even really close.
To tell the truth, I probably would've done the same thing Ozzie did. I just wonder if Aardsma's control was affected by his short warmup time.

*Nick Punto drew three of the Twins 8 walks. Punto has been the offensive disappointment that many of us feared this year, but I'll say this for him - his poor hitting stats haven't led him to return to the hacking ways of his past.
Punto's average sits at .237, and his slugging percentage is an embarassing .295.
But his OBP is .337, a full 100 points above his batting average.
That means he's working as many walks as he possibly can.
It still doesn't make him a good offensive player, but it keeps him from falling into Juan Castro territory.
A lot of fans are rightfully bitching about the fact that Punto remains in the 2-hole, as opposed to hitting 8th or 9th, but I wonder if Gardy isn't doing that because he fears that if he drops Punto down, he'll go back to hacking away and stop drawing a fair amount of walks.
Just a theory, and in any event, Jeff Cirillo should get more ABs.

*Joe Mauer's comeback has been pushed back again. Could be another week.
I don't blame the Twins, because they can't afford to rush him back and then lose him for an even longer period.
My concern is that Mauer could be injury-prone, and that we'll have to deal with this crap every year.

*The bullpen doesn't seem to miss Jesse Crain, Dennys Reyes and Glen Perkins. Sure didn't on Wednesday.
Matt Guerrier, Jason Miller, Pat Neshek and Joe Nathan combined for six scoreless, hitless innings to allow the Twins to come back from a 6-1 deficit.
I like what I see in the lefty Miller, especially since Reyes has been such a disappointment this year. And as I said the other day, Guerrier is a probably a better option in key spots than Crain was anyway.

*Morneau leads the Twins with 16 homers. Hunter is second with 11. Michael Cuddyer is third with 7.
Jason Kubel is fourth with 2.
Cirillo, Mike Redmond, Luis Rodriguez and Mauer are tied for fifth with 1.
The rest of the roster is tied for sixth with zero (0).
So right now, the Twins 3-4-5 hitters have hit 85% of the teams homers (34 of 40).
I'd have to believe that would be a record of some sort if it ends up that way.

*Kevin Slowey makes his much anticipated debut Friday against Oakland.
My predicition: 6 innings, 6 hits, 3 runs, 1 walk, 3 Ks and a 4-3 Twins win.

.500, amazingly

We got back from our trip Monday at Noon.
It was awesome. We saw seven great ballparks, drank lots and lots and lots of beer, and went to some cool places (Al Hrobosky's Ballpark Saloon is the best sportsbar in America, I am ready to declare). I'll maybe write some more about it later, but I don't want to right now. I'm ready to get back in routine.

So the first thing I did after driving over 2,000 miles to watch 10 baseball games?
Watch a baseball game, the Twins vs. White Sox.

The Twins are playing well. Last year the moves to replace Juan Castro, Tony Batista and Scott Baker with Jason Bartlett, Nick Punto and Francisco Liriano sparked a major run.
Could replacing Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz with Baker and Kevin Slowey do the same?

Possibly, although it's kind of an apples-oranges comparison.
What I see is that a healthy Michael Cuddyer and Luis Castillo are pretty important, and that Justin Morneau and Torii Hunter are every bit as good as they were last year. They're scoring enough runs, I think. I'd still like to see more.

If Jeff Cirillo can get hot it looks like Gardy is willing to let him take ABs from Punto at 3rd. I think by years end Cirillo will be hitting .300 and Punto will be a part-time player.
I was very disappointed to see Lew Ford replace Jason Kubel in the lineup so much over the last week. Kubel has struggled, yes, but he still has a lot of upside.
Meanwhile it should be apparent by now to even the most bone-headed Leeeeeeeeewwww fan out there that Ford is almost completely worthless. Kubel had a good game Monday at the plate and in the field, and Jason Tyner also had a good game, so maybe that situation will return to normal.

The bullpen is a concern now, thanks to all the injuries. Carmen Cali, Jason Miller and Julio DePaula have replaced Jesse Crain, Dennys Reyes and Glen Perkins, though someone (probably DePaula) will go back down when Slowey is called up and Ortiz is shifted to the bullpen.
I don't think Ortiz will fare much better out of the pen. Ironically, I think both Carlos Silva (who still has a respectable 4.22 ERA) and Ponson would actually have a chance to be good relievers. But it's not going to work out that way.
The saving grace is Matt Guerrier, who is no longer a mop-up guy. And he no longer should be. In fact, I think most Twins fans would agree with me in saying they have more confidence in him than they ever have in Crain.
As long as the big three of Juan Rincon, Pat Neshek and Guerrier exists in front of Joe Nathan, the pen should survive.

Meanwhile, the rotation suddenly looks promising. Johan Santana is finding his summer groove, while Boof has very quietly posted terrific numbers in 10 starts (3-1, 3.88 ERA, 62 Ks in 55 IP).
I'm not ready to declare Baker back, but his first two starts have been very promising.
Silva still lives dangerously every outing, but it's hard to argue with 4.22, especially considering what we all expected of him.

As for Slowey, I wouldn't be surprised if he has immediate success (nor, frankly, would I be surprised if he gets knocked around a bit).
His minor league numbers are filthy. He's walked five guys in 63 innings. He's ready.
He's so ready.
And don't forget about Matt Garza. Don't think he won't be motivated by the fact that both Baker and Slowey are in the show and he's still stuck in Rochester.
Knock on wood, but I don't think pitching is going to be the Twins problem this year (I've pretty much been saying that all year, though).

The problem, if there is one, will be staying healthy.
Remember back when Alexi Casilla, Tyner and Luis Rodriguez were all playing almost every day?
Just getting Castillo and Cuddyer in their every day has been huge. It's made Morneau and Hunter better.
Joe Mauer will be back soon. It would be tempting to give him plenty of DH duty, and let Redmond continue to handle the bulk of the catching duties, but Mauer and the trainers are concerned that DH'ing is actually harder on him than catching, because he gets too tight in the dugout.

Fine, I guess that means Mike Redmond is the DH. The way he's hitting, he can't come out of the lineup.
If and when Rondell White ever comes back, I say use him as a pinch-hitter and spot OF vs. lefties until he proves himself useful.
And keep giving Cirllo ABs at 3rd and Kubel ABs in LF.
That is all.


*In case you're wondering, I think the AJ spike-gate was blown way out of proportion. I'm sick of Dick Bremer playing the AJ as villain card, and I just wish everyone would shut up about him.
It was apparent to the entire TV audience (but apparently not Bremer) that AJ tried to apologize when Morneau came to bat in the 6th, and though he could be lying (and Morneau didn't appear interested in what he had to say), that should be the end of it.
I've made my pro-AJ feelings known on many occasions.
In my opinion the Twins need less Disney characters on their roster and more Gashouse Gang types.

Besides, all AJ did in Minnesota was play a central role in the club ending a nearly 10 year run of ineptitude, hit the biggest post-season homer in team history this century, and help the team acquire two All-Stars (Liriano and Nathan) and a potential All-Star (Boof).
I'd say it's time we move on.

Gateway City

Sadly, our tour is nearing an end.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that we're running out of steam a little bit, and that we're starting to miss our own beds and our dogs.

Having said that, St. Louis is another highlight of the trip.

We're staying in the Ballpark Hilton, so we can actually look into the stadium from our room.

The park itself isn't spectacular, but it does have a lot of the cool statues and murals of past Cardinal greats.

The place actually reminded me of Wrigley, in that it's more about the atmosphere than the actual stadium.

While the new Busch is definitely an upgrade from the old one, and has a distinct retro feel, complete with a giant scoreboard, tons of concession options and Budweiser beer and signage everywhere, it lacks the bells and whistles of all the other new parks.

And I think that's because, like at Wrigley, the Cardinals are such a big deal, and the fans so loyal, that it isn't necessary to turn the stadium into an amusement park. The Cardinals are the draw.

Yes, the Rams and Blues play here, but the Cards own this town. And that's cool.

Before and after the game there were parties everywhere, jam-packed bars with live bands playing in every direction of the stadium.

A near capacity crowd of 43,000 rabidly rooted for the Cards (who are 19-26 by the way), against the Nationals (who are now 3-0 in games attended by Mr. and Mrs. Zimmer).

It rained a little bit, and due to the threat of more rain today I waited to buy tickets for the Saturday game.

Mistake.

Now all that's left is standing room only, and I don't think I'm going to fork over $40 to stand in the CF plaza.

We'll see. There's always a trip to the Bud brewery, or to the top of the arch.

*Twins have won 5 of 7? Maybe I should stay away. Sounds like Boof and Baker are pitching well. With all these injuries, why can't Carlos Silva or Ramon Ortiz come down with something?

Cincy Rules

Great American Ballpark (named for Great American Bank), is easily the best ballpark we've seen so far.

Across the street from the Bengals new Paul Brown Stadium, GAB features terrific sightlines, a close proximity to the field, huge, wide open concourses, one of the largest scoreboards in the Majors, tons of concession options and pre-game festivities, and several nods to the history of the oldest team in baseball.

The first thing that strikes you is the various tributes to the Big Red Machine and even the Reds teams of the 1800's.
Statues of Reds greats greet you at the front gate, as do various murals featuring Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, Johnny Bench, George Foster, Tony Perez, etc., etc.
A huge Big Red Shop offers tons of cool (and fairly affordable) Reds memorabilia, and next to that is the Big Red Museum.
It costs $10 to get in ($5) with a ticket, and we didnt have time last night, so we're going to tour it today.

GAB has a riverboat theme, with a boat and misters in the outfield, but that really doesn't add or subtract from the park itself. Everything is red, giving it a distinct hometown team feel, and I've never seen a place that tilted the seats towards the action as much as GAB. It's very exaggerated - we sat down the third base line and were facing the mound straight on (Kyle Lohse pitched for the Reds and got hammered. Bad. Cristian Guzman hit a triple, that brought back memories).

Cincinnati is the chili capital of the world, and we had some really good chili dogs. There's also BBQ, pizza, tacos and even a cakes and cookies stand. I had 3 Buds and a margarita from the tiki bar. The prices were better than any place we've been so far.

There were about 31,000 fans (it was Bronson Arroyo bobblehead night), and most of them left by the 6th inning, at which point the Nats had a 9-1 lead.
The ushers didnt mind at all when the remaining fans moved down into the field level seats. We moved over directly behind home plate about 7 rows up in the 8th inning (the game lasted almost four hours, as the Reds came back a little before losing 12-7), and that was as close as I've probably ever been at a Major League game.

We'll be back tonight, hoping to hit the Reds museum before hand, then Friday morning we leave for St. Louis.

Halfway Home

Some more highlights from the trip:

Scott Baker shoving it up the Brewers' butts in his first start of the year, and another homer from Torii.
The roof was closed for the second game in Milwaukee, and Miller isn't nearly as cool when it's a dome.

We also hit up the Miller Brewery (semi-boring, but you get free beer), and the Milwaukee Zoo.

Then to Chicago, where we caught the "Crosstown Classic", as the Cubs-White Sox rivalry has now been officially dubbed (Brienne took the photo at right).
Wrigleyville was a zoo by 10 AM. We went into the Cubby Bear and had four Leinie's for $25. At 11:30 we headed to the park to take our $125 outfield bleacher seats.
The bad news is Chicago was, according to the weather channel, the coldest major city in the US on Sunday. It was about 45 degrees for the Cubs-Sox game, with a windchill of 32.
That makes it hard to give Wrigley a real evaluation. I will say the surrounding Wrigleyville area was really cool, and just being in the building can give any baseball fan shivers. I had a Chicago dog, and it rocked. It also gave me the shits.

We left in the bottom of the 7th with the Sox leading 10-2, after actor Tim Robbins led the crowd in 'Take me out to the ball game'. AJ hit a grand slam, and I have to admit I enjoyed seeing that. You think they boo AJ at the Dome, you should hear it at Wrigley.

Monday we spent the day on the pier off Lake Michigan, and visited Soldier Field (I didn't really get to see the field, but I did get to pee there), the Chicago Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium.
Then we saw A's-White Sox at US Cellular.
Really liked the Cell. Spacious, fan-friendly, relatively affordable beer and concessions, and a nice modern feel and look without being boring.
Unfortunately it's in the middle of the slums, so we were sure to get the hell out of there.

But that was nothing on Detroit.
We're staying in a 19th century mansion in midtown, about 2 miles from Comerica.
We walked all the way to the stadium and met my old buddy Solari at the Hockeytown bar (think Hubert's only bigger). We had to walk through some fairly scary parts of midtown to get there.
The game was fun, and Comerica was a cool place, too. I like all the Tiger sculptures all over the place.
Another place with a lot of wide concourses, and we were able to walk around and watch the game from several different vantage points.
Plus our seats were great, 20 rows up from first base.
Afterwards we went to Cheli's Chili Bar (as in Chris Chelios, the Red Wings defenseman), and watched the Wings season come to an end.

Solari offered to drive us back to our hotel, and when we arrived at his car, found that the window had been smashed and a bunch of CDs and tapes were stolen from his car.
Solari is the unluckiest guy I know. This kind of shit happens to him all the time.
Luckily they did not steal his Sioux Falls Storm mini-football, or his clove cigarettes.
I'm sure it was a fun drive back to Lansing with a busted out window at 2 in the morning.

By that point, we were glad that we only had one night in Detroit.
Now it's off to Cincinnati.

Not a bad start

Miller Park is an impressive place.
It's huge.
Keeping in the tradition of the newer ballparks having some sort of tie-in to the culture and history of the city, Miller Park seems to be a nod to Milwaukee's industrial history. It's a highly engineered structure.
I'd been warned by some that it felt too much like an indoor park, but I didn't feel that way at all.
It is, however, more like a machine than an organic "ballpark".
You can see the folded girders that comprise the roof from miles away - at its peak the stadium is over 300 feet tall. The last row of seats in the 4th deck only reaches about halfway to the top of the outer structure.
The park pretty much stops at the centerfield fence and goes straight up from there. It feels compacted horizontally, but, again, goes up for miles.

The city of Milwaukee has definitely caught Brewers fever. A sell-out crowd was there, and thousands were tailgating beforehand. With all the tables of food, portable grills and beer cans it felt more like a college football game.
The fact that the Brewers are in first place actually made this feel kind of like a rivalry game, which I didn't really expect. There was an almost Vikings-Packers atmosphere.
And there were a lot of Twins fans. Our seats, 20th row behind home plate, were in the midst of a big throng of Twins fans, which was nice.

On a down note, since this is Miller Park we're talking about, your beer options are pretty limited. We did find a Leinie's stand.
The hot dogs were small but cheap ($2.75) and good. The 'secret stadium sauce' was awesome.
It was Paul Molitor bobble-head night, but unfortunately someone stole the bobbleheads out from under me and Brienne's seats.
Boo.

After the game we didn't want to deal with traffic, so we walked around the stadium to a TGI Fridays that resides in left field. We sat there and had a couple more beers and appetizers with a window seat to the field, watching the grounds crew prep the field for Saturday. We wanted to watch the roof close, but they didn't do it.

By the way, the Twins played awesome, which made it a million times more fun.
I knew Torii Hunter would hit a grand slam, because that's what he does when the bases are loaded. Jeff Cirillo killed his former team (he was met with a surprising number of boos from the crowd), and Boof was on fire. The only run he gave up should've been unearned, as Luis Castillo misplayed a candy-hop in the first inning.
11 K's for Boof, and he now has 56 Ks in 50 innings. He was consistently hitting 94 on the gun, and even caught 96 a couple times. His curve was awesome, too, which made for a long night for the Brewers.
Today we're probably going to hit the Milwaukee Zoo, and if there's time, tour the Miller Brewery. Then it's back to the park for the season debut of one Scott Baker.

10 days, 6 cities, 7 parks, 10 games

By the time anyone reads this, my new wife and I will be on the road to Milwaukee, the first stop on our honeymoon.
We were married Apr. 28, and starting Friday we are embarking on a 10-day road trip to 7 major league ballparks.

Here's the lowdown:
Tonight we'll be at Miller Park when the Twins take on the Brewers, and we'll be there again Saturday night.
Sunday we're in Chicago for an epic interleague clash, when the White Sox face the Cubs at Wrigley.
Monday night we travel across town to see the Sox host the A's.
Tuesday we're in Detroit for Angels vs. Tigers.
Wednesday and Thursday we're in Cincinnati, Friday and Saturday we're in St. Louis, Sunday Mariners at Royals in KC, and on our way back home Memorial Day.

It should be an awesome trip.
We're going to be visiting some of baseball's best and newest ballparks, and hopefully we'll see some good (rain-free) baseball.

Brienne's bringing her laptop with, so hopefully I'm planning to check in here whenever I can with some updates from the trip.
I'll try to nail down all the particulars (coldest beer, best hot dog, hottest chicks, etc.)
It starts tonight and Saturday, with Boof and Scott Baker going up against a team that is suddenly the best in the NL.

I could spit out a few graphs about how shitty the Twins are playing right now, but I don't want to get in a bad mood.
I've got a lot of drinking and driving to do.

Separately, of course.

Ouch...seriously

Yesterday I wrote that Jesse Crain's injury wasn't a big deal.
That was before the news came down that Crain likely has a torn labrum and torn rotator cuff.

If this turns out to be true (he's going for a second opinion), he's not only done for the year, but his career could be in jeopardy.

This is serious stuff.

And it begs the question - again.
What the hell is the Twins training staff doing?
They don't prevent injuries, we know that.
And now this. It's not like Crain kept it a secret from them. He was shut down for over a week in April.
So we know the trainers were working with him. And they apparently overlooked the fact that he was tearing his shoulder off.
If I were Ron Gardenhire and Terry Ryan, I'd be furious.

*A tough outing for Carlos Silva, but 5 runs over 6 isn't even that bad for a Twins pitcher against Cleveland.
Our worst fears from spring training - that there would be little to no pitching after Johan Santana, are coming true.
This has the feeling of a long and ugly season.

Apparently, the pitching sucks, too. Great.

Sunday's 16-4 win over Detroit gave some brief cause for optimism.
I have to admit, I didn't fall for it.
This is still a very flawed team. So flawed, in fact, that I almost wonder if they're actually overachieving right now. It could get worse.
Could this be a 90-loss team?
It shouldn't be. In fact, it could still be a 90-win team.
But there are just so many things that have gone wrong and continue to go wrong.
Some were easy to see coming. Others were not.

Early on, Ramon Ortiz and Carlos Silva, the two worst starting pitchers in their respective leagues last year, were the biggest bright spots on the club. Ortiz was 3-0 with a 2.05 ERA. Silva still sports an excellent 3.00 ERA.
Now Ortiz has posted a 12.25 ERA in his last three starts, and Tuesday's performance against Cleveland was flat out embarrassing. He didn't even compete after being handed a 2-0 lead.
Even when Ortiz was winning there were signs that this was coming.
He wasn't striking anyone out. He was leaving pitches up. The velocity was unimpressive.
Now it's catching up to him.

I think there's still hope that he can be at least passable, i.e. - an ERA around 5, but that of course isn't good enough to keep the youngsters down on the farm, nor is it good enough to justify the $3.1 million the team is paying him this year.
It was easy to cut bait on Sidney Ponson, who gets only a million.
What about Ortiz? I wrote way back in February that signing Ortiz could be a good idea if he was dirt cheap like Ponson, but that the problem with signing him to an expensive deal is that modest-payroll teams can't afford to give up $3 million to a guy and then release him.

And what if Silva rediscovers his form from last year? His sinker has really been moving, so I'm somewhat confident he can keep it up. But if he starts getting bombed, too, 90-losses is a safer bet than 90 wins.

*Jesse Crain gave up 6 runs in 2/3 of an inning, but was sent to the DL afterwards. As much as the Twins don't need another injury, I don't think anyone is jumping off a cliff over Crain going on the DL. He's been terrible this year. I thought they should've traded him this off-season, and I still think that'd be a decent idea. Matt Guerrier has proven he can handle Crain's role as a late-inning guy, and there are plenty of candidates to replace Guerrier in the mop-up/long relief role.

To replace Crain, the Twins called up 24-year old righty Julio DePaula.
DePaula had a 2.56 ERA in 43 games last year in Double-A, and so far this year has posted a 3.15 ERA and 2 saves in 15 games for Triple-A Rochester.

*Rondell White could be back by the first week of June. I guess that's good news.

*There were actually some positives in the 15-7 loss to Cleveland, mostly that the team hit 4 homers for the second straight game.
Justin Morneau whacked two, giving him 11. That puts him on pace for about 42.
The biggest positive to come of the entire game was Jason Kubel finally hitting his first homer, with Dick and Bert practically willing him to do so in the 8th inning.
Hopefully that will help Kubel turn a corner.
His failures this year have been a big reason the Twins offense has been so bad.

*Jeff Cirillo made his first appearance of the year in the field, taking over at 3B in the late innings. I have a feeling Ron Gardenhire is feeling him out to see if he can play there somewhat regularly. No matter how good Nick Punto is defensively (and he misplayed three balls on Tuesday, including his first error of the year), I don't think Gardy will stick with him if he can't get on base.

*Which brings me to the biggest positive I've seen from the team so far.
Gardy.
He seems to be getting it.
He stopped batting Punto 2nd. Stopped batting Redmond 3rd. Moved Bartlett up. Has shown a willingness to move Cuddyer, Morneau or Hunter in and out of the 3-4-5 holes. Plays Kubel.
And if you watched Tuesday's post-game show, you saw him as mad as you ever have.
He was ready to blow at the gathering of reporters, and they weren't even asking pointed questions.
It's good to see Gardy finally losing his patience. Good to see him holding players accountable.

Here Comes the Cavalry

Well, not exactly.
Garrett Jones (left) was called up when the Twins finally put an end to the Sidney Ponson experiment.
Ponson looked like he still might be able to pitch, but it would take a team with a lot more patience than the Twins can afford to give him right now.
I kinda liked him and was pulling for him (he's fat, he has a mullett, he's a boozer, he once punched a judge; how can you not love a guy like that?), but it was obviously time.
It's expected that Scott Baker will take his spot in the rotation, meaning someone, either Jones or Glen Perkins, will be sent down on Saturday.
It should probably be Jones.

While the soon-to-be-26-year-old 1b/of has power (76 homers in his last three years in the minors), he also has a career OBP of .300 in the minors, and entering this year he had hit just .241 in over 1,000 Triple-A at-bats.
To be fair, he was hitting .305 with a .356 OBP this season at the time of his call-up, so maybe he's turned a corner. But at his age it's more likely that he's just off to a fast start, and won't really add much to the Twins offense.

Then again, at least he's a threat to hit a home run, which is more than can be said about half the Twins lineup. The worst thing Nick Punto or Jason Tyner, hell even Jason Kubel, can do to a mistake pitch is hit it down the line for a double.
I get the feeling that Jones' call-up is more of a reward for his hard work (he's well respected by Twins players and coaches) and long service to the team than it is an attempt to improve their offense.
Then again, if he gets a couple big hits this week he might stick after all, with Perkins going back to Rochester to take Baker's spot in the rotation.

As for Baker, many fans soured on him after he struggled last season (6.37), but don't forget how good he was in '05 (3.35 in 9 starts), and how good he's been consistently in Triple-A.
He has the stuff to win in the Majors, it's simply a matter of him keeping the ball down.
He's getting the first crack over Matt Garza and Kevin Slowey because he has the most experience.
Certainly it's possible that they'd consider trading him, and this stint will be a show and tell for other teams, but that doesn't mean there isn't still the possibility that Baker is part of the Twins' long-term plans.

If you look at the big picture, the release of Ponson is good news not just because he's gone, but because it means the Twins have shortened the grace period on the lame veterans they continue to take ill-advised fliers on (Batista, Castro, Sierra, now Ponson). It means that regardless of what they say publicly, Ron Gardenhire and Terry Ryan realize that they can't fall too far behind in the Central, and that they currently lack the bullets to keep up in the fight. In other words, the hook is coming quicker, and Kubel and Punto should consider that a warning.

*Gotta give it up to Mike Redmond. Joe Mauer goes down and the guy's hitting what, like .440 since he became the starter? He doesn't look good doing it, but Redmond is a fine major league hitter (so long as he's not being asked to bat 3rd, which, mercifully, Gardy no longer does).

*Once again Johan Santana pitches six solid if unspectacular innings and is pulled, and the Twins lose.
I don't know if it's Gardy who insists on limiting Santana to pitching half a game, or if Santana has become a whiner and is pulling himself after 90-100 pitches all the time, but if he can't get to the 7th, he's not Cy Young material.
I can't stress it enough. If you'd let him pitch a little deeper he'd shake out of his annual early-season slump sooner.

I Hate That Guy Nos. 2-4: Roger Clemens, John Sterling, Suzyn Waldman

(Vote now, who's the bigger douchebag - Joe Perry or Roger Clemens?!)

While New Yorkers pretend as though Jesus has returned, the rest of are unmoved by the news that Roger Clemens signed with the Yankees this week for a salary that averages more per year than the entire Tampa Bay Devil Rays team.

No one is surprised, and, outside of Yankee nation, I don't know that anyone cares.
We all knew it was coming, especially when the Yanks signed Andy Pettite in the off-season.
And while my guess is that Clemens will pitch well, it's gotta end eventually. He'll soon be 45, which is the same age that Nolan Ryan finally started to succumb to age.
My guess is he'll post an ERA of around 3.50, averaging barely 6 innings per start, and that the health of the rest of the Yankee rotation will have a bigger effect on their record than the Rocket will.

There are a lot of things I respect about Clemens.
He's kept himself in tremendous shape, and I admire guys that keep playing into their 40's even when stupid media no-nothings blather on moronically about 'going out on top'. If he loves the game, he should keep playing. And I love how his career, like Ryan's, flies in the face of the stupid pitching coaches and managers these days who think pitchers can't throw more than 100 pitches a game or 200 innings a year or their arm will explode.

But he still makes my hate list.
I'll never forget the bush-league move he made when he threw at Mike Piazza's head, nearly killing him, largely because of the fact he simply couldn't get him out. That was one of the most cowardly things I ever saw on a ball field.

Then there's the special treatment.
He only has to show up when he's pitching. He gets $4.5 million a month. And a private plane, and a box for his family or whatever other stupid shit is in his contract. I don't blame the Yankees for giving it to him, because they're desperate. But Clemens just comes off like a tool, and a lame teammate.

And spare us the Michael Jordan-Brett Favre-will-I-or-won't-I crap.
It's self indulgent and obnoxious, and most of us see it for what it really is: You can't make it through a whole season because you're old.

I'm sure if you saw Sportscenter at all the last couple days you heard Suzyn Waldman's embarrassing call on live radio when Clemens popped his head out of George Steinbrenner's box Sunday to tell the Yankee Stadium crowd he was back. I'll admit it was a cool thing for Clemens to do, but Waldman, the Yankees color commentator, screamed like a banshee and called it "one of the most dramatic things I've ever seen".

Please.

Waldman's been working Yanks games for like 20 years, so I'm going to assume that means she saw the memorable playoff homers of Aaron Boone, Jim Leyritz and Chad Curtis, and has also been witness to some amazing feats from the likes of Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Mariano Rivera.
But a guy getting on a microphone and confirming what was a surprise to no one at all is one of the most dramatic things she's ever seen?
It's this kind of stupid hyperbole that has put most sports commentary into the toilet.

Speaking of which, Waldman's partner, John Sterling, is a total ass-hat.
And it's not about hating the Yankees
As much as I hate the Yankees, I admit, they're special. They're an American institution all by themselves.
I totally believe, and in some ways even appreciate, the Yankee mystique.
So I think that they should get someone truly great to handle play-by-play of their games on the radio.
Not some guy who thinks, "Yankees win, Yankees win, the-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a Yankees win" is clever.

Seriously, that's the best you can do?
Your job is to describe the action of the most storied team in sports to a titanic fan base, and the best you came up with is convulsing like a retard with a stutter?
Horrible. I can't believe Yankee fans put up with this.

Roger Clemens, John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman - I hate you.

Panic button time?

I'll just say it.
The Twins are in deep shit.
They can't score any runs. They can't hit home runs. They can't stay healthy.
Their best player (Joe Mauer) is headed for the 15-day DL, and it's sounding like he may need almost twice that much time to heal (an MRI found internal bleeding in his sore quad).
Already this year, Mauer, Michael Cuddyer, Jason Bartlett, Luis Castillo, Nick Punto, Jeff Cirillo, Rondell White, Torii Hunter, Jesse Crain, Dennys Reyes and Juan Rincon have missed at least one game due to injury.
That's simply unacceptable. It goes beyond a fluke. It suggest that the training staff is leaving the team ill-prepared for the rigors of the baseball season.

The Twins just have to hope the pitching stays sharp, and that they can win enough 3-2 games to hang around .500 until they get healthy (if they ever do).

The injuries have been exacerbated by slow starts from Justin Morneau, Jason Kubel and Punto. There is no DH. There is no help in the minors. Lew Ford could be ready soon, and at this point I'm actually looking forward to his return (for his defense if nothing else), but I'm extremely pessimistic about his chances of contributing much offensively.

With the Cubs looking to move Jacque Jones, I'd consider offering Scott Baker or Crain. The Twins can't survive in this division with a Triple-A lineup.

*I've tried to give Sidney Ponson the benefit of the doubt at every turn, and he has shown signs of having something left (like Sunday's 2nd inning, when he struck out the side on 11 pitches - where did that come from?), but it's probably time to give one of the youngsters a chance.

*I'm really tired of Gardy pulling Johan Santana every time he gets to 90-100 pitches. I strongly believe he'd snap out of his early season slumps if Gardy would stretch him out a little. Part of being an ace is being a workhorse, and while I don't condone pitch counts in the 140's in April, I do think Gardy is coddling, with a negative effect, the best pitcher in baseball.

*At least Gardy listened to me about the stupid Mike Redmond in the 3-hole thing, moving Hunter there on Sunday. We'll see if he continues to resist the temptation over the next month.

*And speaking of Torii, who now has a 21-game hitting streak and is batting .340, it's scary to think what the lineup would be like if he were only hitting .250 right now.
Sid Hartman wrote a column this week saying the Twins would find a way to re-sign Hunter after this year.

I take everything Sid writes with a giant grain of salt, especially because in cases like this he often writes that what he wants to happen, will happen, to try and force things (his influence is not what he'd have you believe).
Having said that. it put a little bounce in my step, as it was at least nice to see a quote from Terry Ryan in print saying he would at least try (the Texas Rangers are supposedly ready to offer Torii a ridiculous contract).

No offense

I watched the Twins put together some terrible teams throughout the 1990s.
They lost and lost and lost. I hardly missed a game.
Part of it was that I just loved baseball, and watching the Twins lose to the Mariners 11-5 was, to me, more fun than going jogging, or golfing, or watching Friends, or pretty much anything else.
Then the Twins finally got good in 2001, and it suddenly got even better.
They won three straight AL Central titles from 2002-2004. Those were some fun teams to watch.

Then came 2005.
The Twins weren't a bad team. They were in the pennant race for most of the season. They won 83 games, which, only a few years earlier, would've been considered a wild success.
But even going a respectable 83-79, it felt like they went 50-112.
Not because they didn't make the playoffs, or even because Chicago cruised to the World Series title.
But because they couldn't score any goddamn runs.

I learned somthing that year that I'll never forget.
Bad teams that score runs are more entertaining than decent teams that don't.
I can appreciate a good pitchers dual more than most - that's not it. I'm not one of those dumbass fans that thinks any game that doesn't end 12-11 is boring.

But when you have a favorite team, and that team routinely scores 0,1,2 or 3 runs, you start to get pissed. Doesn't matter if they lose 2-1 or 10-1, or even win 2-1, it sucks. It gets frustrating.
You find yourself saying things like:
"Swing the goddamn bat!"
"What are you swinging at that for!"
"(Sarcastically)Nice fucking cut!"
"I could hit this piece of shit!"

Granted, injuries are playing a big part, but early on the Twins are showing serious signs of becoming one of those teams this year.
Hey Carlos Silva has been one of the best pitchers in the AL through the first month, and he has two whole wins to show for it! Awesome!
No one is hitting. The piranhas thing is a bad joke. There are too many singles, and way too few homeruns.

The good news is that pitching keeps a team in the race, and as long as the Twins keep it up on the mound, they won't fall too far behind.
But the punchless offense is hard to watch.
It won't be long before fans start clamoring for the team to unload some of its pitching for a bat.

Jacque Jones anyone?

I'm Back....sort of

I'm making this short only because I'm trying to cut and past it from a computer I'm not even supposed to be using - my internet access at home is not working - AGAIN!
Did I mention that Midco sucks?
Eat my ass, Midco.

While I didn't get to watch any of it (I was getting hitched Friday and Saturday - I survived, and yes, I'm officially married - and I was too hung over to watch Sunday), the Twins took 2 of 3 from the Tigers in Detroit.
That was great.
You may remember that last time this year, the Twins went into Detroit and were swept in three straight by a combined score of 33-1.
That sucked. I remember wondering how long before Gardy would get fired.

So just when things looked shitty, there was a bright spot.

And now it's all shitty again.
It pains me to say it, but I'm glad the Twins don't play the D-Rays anymore. They batted over. 600 for the year against Joe Nathan (try getting ahead in the count, Joe, that helps), and their shitty pitchers somehow keep the Twins just enough off-balance. Although I should admit, Al Reyes is on my fantasy team (because I am very smart, and I knew about Al Reyes way back in February), and he picked up a win and a save. So that counts for something, I guess.
Wait, no it doesn't. I don't want to be that guy. The fantasy guy. Forget I said anything.

Nathan fans shouldn't jump off a bridge, but his struggles are worth some cocern, because he's been getting hit all season, even when he has been getting the saves. I'm just going to assume that when it gets warmer, his velocity will improve, along with the bite on his breaking stuff. Same with Johan.

Some other random notes
*It figures that Torii Hunter seems to be finally making the leap from good hitter to great hitter right when the Twins are preparing to let him walk via free-agency. Dude is on fire.
*Glad to have Luis Castillo back. And Jeff Cirillo.
As for RonDL, I get the impression that the team is sick and tired of his injuries/excuses. With Lew Ford poised to return within a month, I'd leave Kubel in left, with Tyner and Ford as the backups. I'd use Rondell primarily as a DH and PH. The Twins need a veteran PH anyway.
*Ramon Ortiz was bound to get hit. It won't be the last time this year.
*Sir Sid lives another day. With Scott Baker, Matt Garza and Kevin Slowey combining for about a 0.80 ERA in Triple-A, most fans are pissed whenever Sid throws a decent game. He's got at least two more people, maybe more.
*And finally, if I managed the Twins, this is my lineup.

C Joe Mauer
2B Luis Castillo
1B Justin Morneau
RF Michael Cuddyer
CF Torii Hunter
LF Jason Kubel (Tyner occasionally)
DH Jeff Cirillo (RonDL occasionally)
3B Nick Punto
SS Jason Bartlett