Is there anyone that can help this lineup?

That's the question.
Thursday's 10-run explosion notwithstanding, the Twins lineup can't produce runs at all, and everyone is clamoring for Scott Ulger to be fired and for Terry Ryan to go get a hitter.
Who's he going to get?
Bill Mueller?
Hey, I'd take him if Boston would be willing to take JC Romero off our hands, that's a good deal. But Mueller is a No. 7 or 8 hitter, and we already have about 12 of those on our roster.
Interestingly enough, rumors have surfaced (namely on ESPN's insider page) that the Twins could be players for both Mike Piazza (no shit) and Alfonso Soriano.
I assume either of them would DH, but I would gauge the odds of Mike Piazza ever donning a Twins uniform at about 100 to 1.
Soriano on the other hand might not be totally far-fetched.
I have a feeling Terry Ryan might have something cooking. and if he does it might be big, because he has to know that Bill Mueller and Joe Randa, as nice as they are, really won't make much difference on this team. It's time to get drastic.
Still, Soriano is probly a long shot, so I'll hold out hope for Mike Sweeney.
While not the hitter he once was, he's still the goods, with experience, power, patience, and a hunger for postseason. He's hitting .305 with 13 homers. And he's sick of losing in KC.
Would KC make a deal within the division?
I think so. They're not going anywhere, and Sweeney's best days are behind him, so taking whatever they could get would be wise on their part.
How about Cuddyer and Dave Gassner for Sweeney?
*Sounds like Justin Morneau might soon be making a trip to Rochester. Wonder if T-Ry could get the Mets to throw in Dougie baseball in a Piazza deal.
*Brad Radke got ejected from Thursday's game (he wasn't pitching) from the dugout. Cool.
*Matt LeCroy needs more AB's. This is the guy they kept over David ORtiz. I'm not saying he's as good as Ortiz, he isn't. But if you made the decision, you might as well play him.
LeCroy has the best OPS on the team, and Lew Ford is becoming the next Rich Becker.
*I have a hunch that if Brad Radke could make all 34 of his starts against the Twins in a given year, that he'd go 29-2 with a 1.25 ERA. And he knows it.