Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Ugly Athlete No. 4 - Bobby Kielty

Seriously, what a D-bag.
Just look at him. The white Oscar Gamble.
He's like the guy in High School who wore a leisure suit to school one day because he thought he was so cool that everyone would think it's ironic.
But then everyone just thinks he's a fuckin jagoff.
When the Twins traded Kielty for Shannon Stewart, some people worried that the Twins had given up too much.
A certain retarded Twin Cities columnist even went as far as to suggest that the Twins may have traded the next Mickey Mantle (though all the two really have in common is that they're both white, switch-hitters and don't use batting gloves).
One thing I'm really tired of is fans latching onto certain players for that kind of shit.
"I really like Nick Punto because he slides head first" or
"I really like Dustan Mohr because he always dives for foul balls" or
"I really like Bobby Kielty because he doesn't wear batting gloves" or
"I really like Lew Ford because he's retarded just like me"
Hey, guess what? I really like Joe Mauer...because he's a fucking good baseball player!
Meanwhile the 'roided firecrotch has been a .230 hitter since the Twins traded him, while Stewart led them to two playoff appearances. I'd say it was a good trade.
So I hope Kielty's "I'm so ugly and my hair is so outrageous that I'm actually cool" bit is going over well in Oakland.
I don't miss it.
Bobby Kielty
Major League Baseball Player
2001 - present
Ugliness: 8
Creepiness: 8
Identifying Characteristic: There's a bon-fire on his head. Back zits (I've heard).
Looks like: Ronald McDonald on steroids.

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