Way to go assholes

Have a look at the two guys who have assembled the most frustrating, maddening, exruciating, offensively inept team I've ever seen.
It has really gotten bad.
The Twins are still mathematically in the wild card race, which makes it especially difficult to watch them on TV, because even as the losses pile up Dick Bremer continues to try and give every game the 'pennant fever-CATCH IT' treatment:
"Tonight the Twins battle the Royals in a marquee September matchup with serious playoff impli- SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!! ITS OVER!!!!!!
I'm glad Kyle Lohse, Carlos Silva and Brad Radke have complained in the papers recently.
The pitchers have carried this team remarkably this year, and as soon as the offense has one good game Gardy starts pulling guys and saying - "We can't worry about people's feelings around here"
Oh yeah, is that why you play Shannon Stewart in LF?
Or why you stuck with Joe Mays in the rotation way too long?
Or why you never had the balls to send Morneau to the minors?
Man, Gardy has had a terrible season as a manager.
Look how well Jason Bartlett has played since he came back. Gee, nice of Gardy to give the rookie all of 3 weeks before sending him down.
He tries to motivate players in the wrong way, he can't make a lineup....it'll never happen, but if Gardy got fired, I wouldnt complain.
For Gardy to take shots at his pitchers, and to yank them early from starts (you're not in the race dickhead, nice excuse) is disgraceful.
Radke, Silva and Lohse are easily the best 2 thru 4 starters in baseball, and they've had walking shitheads hitting for them all year. If I was them, I'd walk thru the dugout with middle fingers extended after every inning I pitched. They have one bad inning and suddenly Gardy is a tough guy.
And how about batting Juan Castro behind Morneau. Brilliant.
How the hell is Morneau ever going to hit homers with utility infielders batting behind him?
This team has lost SO MANY games by a run or two that could've been won were it not for a series of bad decisions.
One of my favorite examples: in a game earlier this year, LeCroy, the slowest man in sports, is on 2nd, and Lew Ford is up to bat. Gardy calls for the bunt, and Ford lays down a bunt that, admittedly wasn't very good, and LeCroy is thrown out by about 25 feet, but even a good bunt would not likely have done the job.
Ford comes back to the dugout and asks why Gardy called for the bunt with LeCroy on 2nd (good question). Gardy blows a gasket, gives Ford the "I'm the manager, not you" speech and benches him.
Way to go, Gardy. The guy who once ironed a shirt he was wearing is smarter than you. Might as well bench him for it.
The scary thing is this team is most likely going to return virtually completely intact.
Make no mistake, friends, this is a AAA lineup - and a bad one at that.
If I were Torii Hunter I'd ask the Twins to triple my salary, because that's how much better he is than anyone they have right now, except for maybe Mauer.
This is our lineup next year - I'm sure the White Sox are peeing themselves in fear:

Stewart LF
Punto 2B
Mauer C
Hunter CF
LeCroy DH
Morneau 1B
Jones RF
Cuddyer 3B
Bartlett SS
Wow, scary! There are guys in Japan that hit better than 70% of that lineup.
Hey, now that I think of it, that's not a bad idea. Maybe the Twins should look for some Japanse guys. Because I don't think we're going to see them go out and sign Jeff Kent or Gary Sheffield this spring.

.237-18-64

Those are the numbers of Justin Morneau, the Twins supposed Paul Bunyan.
He hit a 3-run homer last night that was basically the difference in the game, though he was back in the 7-hole doing it.
I've criticized Gardy for moving Morneau in and out of the cleaup spot this year, but lately he has shown to be utterly incapable of handling it.
I don't think anyone is ready to give up on Morneau, but he faces more pressure during the off-season than any Twin.
He has to get off to a good start next year, and he has to have 30-40 homers by the end.
It does make you wonder what happens in the off-season with these guys, because if you'll remember back, Morneau had a horrific off-season.
He had all kinds of illnesses, and basically couldn't do anything until spring training.
Does that have something to do with his crappy season?
Another factor of course, is that he hit 19 homers in 65 games last year, which made the whole league sit up and take notice (and scout him, adjust to him, and now, beat him).
Now it's time for Morneau and the Twins coaching staff to make adjustments in return.
Teach the kid to layoff the slider down in the zone.
Let him go the other way with the ball instead of pulling 4-6-3 DP's all the time.
Hell, just give him a fighting chance, because too many times this year he's looked overmatched - when last year he looked like the next Jim Thome.

Baker's the Man

Scott Baker appears to be pretty good. He still hasn't had a bad start in the big leagues.
This weekend was bad - because they lost another series to a losing team, and they blew another gem from Santana.
But as terrible as the Twins are outside of their pitching, they really aren't out of the race as long as the pitching keeps up like this.
This might be the best pitching staff, top to bottom, in baseball in a long time. The Twins are 69-62, and they have done that with a AAA lineup. That is no exaggeration, this lineup would fit in perfectly in the Pacific Coast League.
I guess it goes to show the old adage is true, that good pitching beats good hitting, because the Twins have a winning record.
Terry Ryan is still talking like he could make a move in the next two days, (the waiver deadline, which is the final deadline, is Aug. 31) but I would be stunned if something happened there.
On Sept. 1, rosters can be expanded (up to 40, but teams never add that many because they'd have to pay them all).
Expect the Twins to call up:
IF Luis Rodriguez, who went down to call up Baker
OF Jason Tyner, a veteran stolen base machine who can play all 3 outfield spots
C Rob Bowen, remember him?
IF Luis Rivas, remember him?
P Travis Bowyer, who has a high 90's heater and was the AAA closer this year
P Boof Bonser, who had a decent year in AAA, and of course...
P Francisco Liriano, the golden boy. I hope they bring him along slow, because the hype around him has gotten huge. He's been mentioned in the last two issues of SI, and Baseball America called him the top pitching prospect in the minors.

Same shit, different day

There have been many, many times that I've wanted to use that as my lead in a story about Augie football, but of course, I can't. That's the beauty of being my own editor at TwinsTown. I can do whatever the hell I want..
Had the Twins swept the Sox, I'd be getting really excited..
They nearly came back from down 6-0 last night, and tied the score today in the 9th, only to lose in xtra innings.
There could have been no better way to ensure a White Sox choke job than to pull off two big comeback wins.
And as much as we can take solace in that we at least scared the bejesus out of the Sox in these last two games, the bottom line is that the Sox won the series.
And those offensive woes of June and July? They haven't totally gone away, you might notice.
As I said before, I'm still not convinced.
I'm starting to lose my patience with Gardy..
No surprise there I guess, but I'm starting to wonder if he's the manager that can lead the Twins to a title.
I'll get into more detail on that later.

That was fun

Maybe I'm just an old fashioned purist, but I love a good pitchers duel.
Last night was as good a ball game as you'll ever see.
Terrific pitching, couragous defense, and a dramatic game winning homer to break up a no-no.
They've won 4 srtaight against the Sox.
But if Shannon Stewart is out for any lenght at all, they're in even deeper shit than they've been in.
Joe Mays goes against Mark Buehrle tonight.
That doesn't sound good, but ya never know.

Naked Pictures of a left-fielder

First off - a warning.
When I typed the name Shannon Stewart into a seach engine, looking for a picture of the Twins leftfielder to use for this entry, I was bombarded with nude photos of a healthy looking young lady with the same name who apparently posed for some magazine that had something to do with bunny rabbits. It wasn't until about page 8 that I found any shots that had anything to do with baseball. This ended up taking a while.
So if you're planning on looking for pictures of Dick Bremer's favorite player, make sure you're not at work. You might get in trouble.
As for those Twins, they are now 2.5 games out of the wild card, essentially disallowing me to disavow them.
Kyle Lohse and JC Romero both have been placed on waivers, claimed, and pulled back, meaning that, by rule, they can not be traded the rest of the season. Since they were the only cards to play the Twins really had, we are basically assured that the Twins will play out the season with what they have.
It's funny, the last three years as the Twins have coasted to division titles, I've occasionally heard complaints from fans that there was no drama, that it was too bad Chicago couldn't give the Twins a true, exciting September pennant race.
Well, now we have one.
I have to admit, it'll be pretty exciting if the Twins do go right down to the wire.
I recently compared Shannon Stewart and Lew Ford to Randy Bush and Chad Allen, respectively.
Over the last week, those two played more like Rickey Henderson and Kirby Puckett, respectively.
And Matt LeCroy is hitting. And Cuddyer. And Mauer and Bartlett, etc.
The guy we're still waiting on is Morneau, and if Torii Hunter doesn't come back (and it sounds like he won't, at least not until October) Morneau is the one guy who has to get it going for the Twins to have a chance.
Baker and Liriano will be here Sept.1, and that will help the pitching, but we all know that hasn't been the problem.
This team is still highly flawed, I still don't see Ford as more than a fourth outfielder, and I still think the best days of Stewart and maybe even Jacque Jones are behind them.
I don't know where he's going to come from, but the Twins have to add a bat, a big one, for next year.
But at least they've set things up to be exciting this fall.
Worth mentioning: To be eligible for the playoffs, players must be called up by Aug. 31. Rosters don't expand until Sept. 1.
That means the Twins better find a way to get Liriano on there by the 31st.
Just in case.

I Think This List is Going to Keep Growing

The rumour mill is on fire around MLB, as there have been whispers for weeks that two more players, described as "bigger than Palmeiro" have tested positive for steroids.
The two names that have surfaced are Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon.
In what can only be deemed pure hearsay, the two apparently were informed of their positive test, appealed, lost and are now awaiting MLB's formal announcement.
Clemens, who at age 42 is having his best season ever, was roughed up last night.

My gut feeling is that these rumours are true, and I have a feeling that this will continue.

I'm Still Not Convinced

Let me just say that if Torii Hunter was not on the D.L., I would really like the Twins chances of coming back and getting the wild card.
Really.
But with Torii still on the shelf, I just don't see it happening.
Everyone's all excited about Nicky 'walks, bunts, 'N' steals' Punto, Brent Abernathy, the resurgence of Cuddyer and Ford, etc., but no matter how great the pitching is, I don't think they can catch the Yankees. (Screw the A's, they won't be there)
I will say it was really nice to sweep the White Sox, and nice to see LeCroy hit 2 homers. A little satisfying, and they even beat Mark Buehrle (I know I spelled that wrong but I'm not going to look it up).
The team's actually been fun to watch this week. Frisbie is doing cartwheels.
Here's the thing about the Twins, though - their everyday players are not only not as good as they'd hoped, but not even as good as the Twins think they are now.
At this point in his career, Shannon Stewart is not Rickey Henderson, he's a right-handed Randy Bush.
Justin Morneau is not Kent Hrbek (yet), he's Tony Clark.
Joe Mauer is not Don Mattingly (yet), he's Jeff Cirillo.
Nick Punto is not Chuck Knoblauch, he's Denny Hocking.
Jason Bartlett is not Greg Gange (yet), he's Jeff Reboulet.
Michael Cuddyer is not Gary Gaetti, he's Scott Leius.
Lew Ford is not Dan Gladden, he's Chad Allen.
Jacque Jones is not Shane Mack, he's Bobby Higginson.
And so on.
Everyone (for the most part, present company included) nodded in agreement when the Twins said this year's lineup would score more runs. But use those other names: Clark, Cirillo, Hocking, Reboulet, Leius, Allen, Higginson, Bush....that's one shitty lineup. And that's what the Twins, essentially, have.
But now with the Twins playing well again, several questions are raised.
Is Santana regaining his 2004 Cy-Young form, and is he still in the hunt to win the award this year?
Will Abernathy get a shot at the starting 2B job next year?
What the hell are we supposed to make of Michael Cuddyer?
Will Scott Baker replace Joe Mays in the rotation soon?
Will Francisco Liriano replace JC Romero as the LH setup guy?
Will Torii Hunter be rushed back to help, even if it's only to DH?
Will Terry Ryan try again to make a deal for a hitter, and if so, can he sneak it through the waiver wire?
Will a Twins hitter ever hit 3 homers in a game again?
Why did Matthew LeCroy stop dying his hair?

I Don't Know

It's not because of laziness that I haven't touched this space in over a week (although I was pretty damn busy last week, I put in about 20 hours of OT following minor league football).
It's because I haven't known what to say. I don't know what to think about this team right now.
They're suddenly, shockingly, inexplicably playing good baseball.
They're still a long way from me considering them back in the playoff race, but I get the sinking feeling that they're going to play just well enough to force us all to pay attention, only to fall short.
Maybe that's the Viking fan in me talking; the Twins do, after all, have a pretty good record when it comes to not letting down their fans.
I'm still just hoping they finish above .500. I guess we'll see what happens.

The Hitters - Who comes back?

Twins led 4-0 Monday. Lost 5-4. I'm fucking shocked.
In continuing the discussion from the other day...where the Twins roster stands for next year - the position players.
Well who's to blame?
Obviously the main reason the Twins aren't going to the playoffs this year is their offense, or lack thereof, but specifically which player(s) deserve blame?
After a closer look, the answer would seem to be pretty much everyone.
Everyone rips on Morneau and Cuddyer in particular, and yes, they've been a dissapointment.
Cuddyer has had plenty of time to prepare for a starting job, so his .260, 8 homers are certainly a bummer. Some bemoan the failure to resign Corey Koskie, but I won't. Koskie has 17 RBIs this year.
Morneau is hitting .249. Considering he's been about average on defense, you could argue the Twins would've been better off with Mientkiewicz at first this year.
Maybe so, but Morneau will still probably end up with around 20-25 homers, and 85 or so RBIs. Not what we all hoped for, but not bad for a guy who was almost eligible for Rookie of the Year.
I'm not letting these guys off the hook by any means. IF either of them had done what we all hoped, the Twins might be within striking distance of the White Sox right now, let alone the wild card.
But they are by no means the only guilty ones.
It might be time for a little housecleaning.
* Torii Hunter and Joe Mauer are the only two Twins who I won't criticize for this year, and I'm giving them both a break.
Hunter was having his usual year in which the numbers were good, but you got the feeling he could do better. But with his baserunning, hard nosed play and attitude, he was again the heart and soul of the team.
Mauer is 22, and he's batting over .300. Tough to complain. But batting 3-hole, the RBIs need to be way, way higher.
* I still think Morneau is a 40-homer guy. I guess nobody bothered to wonder if pitchers would make adjustments on a 23 year old who hit 19 homers in 65 games last year. That's what they did and we're seeing him struggle with it. But Morneau is not David McCarty. He's the real deal. He'll be okay. But he can't wait another year. He has to produce in 2006. And by produce I mean 30-40 homers.
* I wouldn't mind if the Twins told Shannon Stewart to take a hike. Yeah, yeah, we always hear about how he's such a 'professional hitter' and how he has such great at-bats and influences the lineup. Well, he's hitting .278, has a mediocre OBP of about .325, doesn't steal any bases, and is a liability in the outfield.
If Lew Ford is the alternative, by all means keep him. But let's stop pretending the guy is Rickey Henderson. There are many better leadoff hitters in the game today.
* I think it's finally safe to say Jacque Jones isn't going to be a 40-homer guy, which is supposedly the reason we're supposed to be afriad to trade him. But I will say that given the way the Twins young hitters failed them this year, I wouldn't be surprised if the Twins are a little more hesitant to bump him in favor of Jason Kubel than they would've been last year.
Locks - Hunter, Mauer, Morneau
That's it. Really. Isn't that sad? There's only three position players on the entire roster that the Twins absolutely have to keep.
Maybe bring back, maybe not - Stewart, Jones, Cuddyer, LeCroy, Glenn Williams, Mike Redmond, Castro
I think the Twins need to take a long hard look at their outfield, but Stewart will almost certainly be back, so Jones is probably gone. I would say Cuddyer blew his chance to be the everyday 3B, but as long as he's cheap I dont mind him off the bench.
LeCroy is fun to make fun of, but he's still a decent hitter. Still rather have David Ortiz though, wouldn't you?
Glenn Williams had a nice two weeks before he got hurt. I suppose he deserves another shot, but he's not the answer. Redmond is an excellent backup catcher, and Castro has actually been even better this year than could be expected.
Get lost - Ford, Rivas
Going into this year, the Twins feared Lew Ford's 2004 season, in which he hit .299 with 15 homers, was a fluke. They were right. The guy is worthless, hitting .250 with 4 homers. (Hasn't stopped Gardy from batting him in the 3-hole, though)
Rivas had plenty of chances.
Still feeling 'em out - Bartlett, Tiffee, Mike Ryan, Punto, Luis Rodriguez, Jason Kubel
If he's healthy, Kubel will be a starter next year. That makes me nervous. He looks like a great prospect, but there is no longer any reason to trust Twins hitting prospects.
Bartlett is the Twins top middle infield prospect, but that might say as much about their minor league depth as it does about him.
Tiffee is a switch-hitter. Aside from that, he hasn't shown a whole lot this year. I dont think he's a better alternative to Cuddyer.
Mike Ryan could be a great bench player for years. And nothing more.
Punto and Rodriguez have both done a nice job this year. But they seem more like platoon players or utility guys. I'm not sold on either one being an everyday player.
Ever.
The Twins as a franchise are still in good shape, with a very strong minor league system, and a big league team that will return many young players next year that contributed significantly to a team that will likely win 80 games or so.
But it seems to me they need to go out and get one player this offseason. Doesn't matter what position he plays, they have room in the infield and outfield, and they need a D.H.
I think Mauer and Morneau will only get better. And maybe Kubel will be more prepared than Bartlett was this year.
But their infield, aside from Morneau, is no scarier at the plate than a Brent Gates, Scott Leius, and Ron Coomer-led group.
We need another guy.

A Pitch for '06

It wasn't that bad of a week for the Twins, considering how things had been going, but if they think that winning a couple cheap ones and throwing in an inexplicable 12-0 rout means they can start talking about the playoffs agian, (which they did after Saturday's lame, 4-3 win) they might want to slow down.
The Twins won't make the playoffs this year, but I guess it would be nice to see them at least finish over .500 to keep their streak of winning seasons alive (this year would make 5 straight).
But that really doesn't matter, so, being that most Twins fans are now treating the season's final two months more like an extended spring training, or at least, an audition to make a case for next year's roster, I'll take a look at who should, and who should not, be on the Twins roster next year.
Starting with the pitchers: (btw, this is not what I think the Twins will do, it's what I would like to see them do)

Locks - Santana, Radke, Silva, Nathan, Rincon, Baker
For a team that has a league-best 3.70 ERA, you might think that there would be more pitchers that I'd be insistent on bringing back, but with so many great arms in the minors, the Twins have a lot of options.
Santana is obvious, though it'd be nice to see him get back to even close to Cy-Young form next year (his ERA was 2.61 last year, this year it's 3.68)
Radke, again, has gotten screwed by his team. A 3.71 ERA and a 7-10 record. This has been going on so long that I'm starting to think he'd be better off if he signed somewhere else. He's had so many 12-15 seasons because he didnt' get any runs, that if he'd played his whole career for the Yankees or Texas or some other team that could hit, he'd be closing in on 200 career wins.
The Twins, however, would not be better off. Radke will be back, and he's at the age where alot of off-speed pitchers hit their prime.
Silva has been the staff ace this year. They need to lock him up.
Nathan has been lights-out again, save for one bad week, and Rincon has recovered nicely from the steroid thing.
As for Baker, he's ready. I don't care how they make room for him, they just have to do it. Either that or trade him for a hitter. Having all this great pitching talent doesn't do any damn good if you sit on it.
Not-so fast - Crain, Liriano, Mays,
Mays would be more effective on grass - in the dome he'll always be inconsistent because there'll be days where all the ground balls get through the holes. Plus he makes over 7 million a year. He's made a nice comeback from the year off, but I'd let him go.
Crain was looking like the best young reliever in baseball back in May, but even then his strikeout numbers were scarily low. Now that's catching up with him. His ERA is 2.98, but considering it was 0.65 a couple months ago, that's not impressive.
In 49 innings he has only 17 K's and 19 walks. I'm not saying he should go to the minors, he shouldn't. But maybe the Twins should take the 'untouchable' tag off of him when it comes to trades. They could get alot for him, they should at least listen.
Liriano has been so goddamn nasty in AAA, (he's given up something like 18 hits in 55 innings with 70 K's) that fans are losing patience. They want to see this guy, especially since he's the reason the Twins didn't pick up Alfonso Soriano.
But there's still a big gap between AAA and the bigs, and the Twins steadfastly insist that he's not ready.
I'd still like to see him called up to pitch out of the bullpen for a couple weeks to get his feet wet, and then we'll see. But I don't think he'll be in the rotation to start next year.
Don't give up yet - Lohse
Everyone's favorite whipping boy, but Lohse has had a nice year. His ERA is a very respectable 4.38, not a heck of a lot worse than Santana and Radke. I still wouldn't rule out a move to the bullpen, but he's still relatively cheap (under 3 million) and could get a decent return in a trade.
Don't forget -Gassner, Guerrier, Travis Bowyer, Boof Bonser
Granted it's been mostly mop-up duty, but Guerrier has posted a 2.93 ERA in 43 innings this year. Apparently he's not totally worthless. Gassner has been hurt since his early season call-up, but he showed promise. If Crain fizzles, Bowyer is a righty with a high-90's fastball who could fill his role. The Twins once viewed Crain as the eventual successor to Nathan, they now look at Bowyer. Bonser has had a nice year in AAA, and might get a September callup.
Get the hell outta here - Romero, Mulholland
Teams are always looking for lefties (hence Mulholland's continued ability to get a paycheck) and they're always reluctant to give up on a lefty with good stuff (hence Romero's continued presence in Minnestota).
But it's time. Mulholland was a nice story, a good guy who had a great career and hoped to get a WS ring with the Twins. I would've loved to see him do that, but it wasn't meant to be. SO long, Terry.
As for JC, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
He's got great stuff, but he's a chickenshit. Can't stomach pressure situations. To tell the truth, if I had to bring back one of these guys, I think I'd take Mulholland.
There's the pitchers. We'll see if Terry and Gardy see things anywhere close to how I do.
Next time I'll do the position players.

We made a big pickup after all

If you're a Twins fan, I'm sure you're starved for good news.
Here ya go.
When the Twins called up Jason Bartlett it left an opening on their AAA roster. To fill that opening they signed (Drum Roll) Brian Buchanan!
That's right, the same Bucky Buchanan that the Twins TRADED TO GET JASON BARTLETT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
That's right. The Twins got Bartlett for Bucky back in 2002, and now he's back. For nothing. We HOSED San Diego on that one. To be honest, with the way this Twins have been hitting, he should be called up and inserted into the cleanup spot.
Let's start the campaign now. We want Bucky!!!!

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Let the record show that the Minnesota Twins 2005 season was laid to rest on Sunday, July 31, at 3:00 central time.
The team had suffered a near fatal wound on Friday the 29th, when their best player and inspirational leader suffered a season-ending ankle injury.
Attempts were made in vain by the team's General Manager to resuscitate the season by acquiring a highly skilled (and highly paid) mercenary, but when no suitable reinforcements could be found, the team, and it's season, passed quietly.
You'll get no complaints from me, by the way, that a deal was not done.
The Twins and their fans were kidding themselves if they thought any hitter, even Manny Ramirez, would be able to save this team once Hunter went down.
The minute Torii was carried off on a stretcher, Terry Ryan should've started looking for ways to dump Romero, Lohse, Boone, Mays, Cuddyer, Mulholland, Ford, Rivas, and any other underachiever or big contract that could get anything in return.
With Lohse and Mays staying put, the Twins can't even call up Scott Baker and Francisco Liriano to get some starts.
I'm ready for those two, as well as Jason Bartlett and maybe even Denard Span (speedy outfielder hitting .330 in AA) to start getting some PT.
This season is over.
Some fans will undoubtedly complain about the team 'giving up', and the Strib's Pat Reusse takes that view today in a terrific column that is bitingly accurate, albeit a little quick to blame - http://www.startribune.com/stories/503/5535999.html
I'm not going to complain, and I'm not going to blame Terry Ryan.
My guess is that as hard as he supposedly tried to make a deal today, his heart probly wasn't in it knowing Hunter is gone.
I will resist the tempation to turn this space into VikingsTown (for now) and try to look for positives the last two months.
Having said that, I think it's likely that the Twins will end up in 4th place in the AL Central, and possibly below .500.
Not trying to sound fatalistic, it's just that this team seriously lacks fire, and the silence of the front office speaks volumes to the players. They're not stupid.
They know a white flag when they see one.

To Soriano, or not to Soriano

If you don't know who Francisco Liriano (right) is by now, it's time to get familiar real quick.
He's not only the top pitching prospect in the Twins organization, ahead of potential studs Scott Baker, JD Durbin, Travis Bowyer, Boof Bonser and others, he's one of the top pitching prospects in all of baseball.
The Twins got him in the Joe Nathan-AJ Pierzynski trade.
He's lefthanded, throws in the high 90's, and is 4-1 with a 2.15 ERA since getting called up to AAA a month ago. Oh, and he's 21.
Entering this season he had struck out 347 batters in 319 minor league innings.
Some scouts have dared to call him, 'The next Santana, only better'.
The trade deadline is 2 hours, 40 minutes from this writing, and ESPN's Buster Olney reports that the Twins can have Alfonso Soriano if they are willing to part with Liriano.
I'll go on record right now that if the Twins make that deal, and assuming that they don't plan on keeping Soriano beyond this year, that it would be a monumentally bad deal. The kind of deal that could send us back towards a 1993-esque downward spiral. And that one took 8 years to get out of.
If the Twins actually tried to keep Soriano, then maybe I could live with it.
But Liriano is just soooooo good. And with Torii Hunter likely out for the year, this season is looking more and more like a lost cause.
Why trade away the top prospect in the game for a rent-a-player for a season that isn't going anywhere anyway? Makes no sense at all.
Either way, the Twins are apparently going to make a deal of some kind.
Olney was just asked on TV to name one team that guaranteed will make a deal by the deadline.
He said the Twins.

Manny in Minny?

Just throwin' this out there.
Manny has asked to be traded. Again. Manny's reasons are that he's tired of 'not having a private life' because the East Coast media is so pervasive.Theo Epstein, the Sox GM, has supposedly wanted to trade Manny ever since they won the Series.
The Sox have expressed interest in Joe Mays, Kyle Lohse and JC Romero.
Why not offer those three, plus maybe Jacque Jones or Lew Ford, or hell, both of them, for Manny.
If Manny wants to play for a quieter team not in the media spotlight, but one that is still a contender, Minnesota seems like a good option.
The catch, of course, is that Manny makes about $16 million a year.
The Twins would be dumping about 10-12 million if they traded the players mentioned above, but they already were going to dump that much money just to get under next year's payroll, without adding a $16 million contract on top of it.
To fit Manny, they'd basically have to completely break the bank, because they wouldn't be able to trade enough salary to fit him in for next year.
Same thing for Soriano.
Fun to dream, though, I guess.
A 40-homerun hitting right-handed bat would look really good in the middle of Gardy's lineup.

Take That, Leiter

Al Leiter tried his damndest to give the Twins the game last night, but the Twins would have none of it.
7 hits, 5 walks, a hit batter in 5 innings? And one run? Nice try, Leiter.
But the bats came alive (a little) and The Boone made a couple great plays in the field, and Leiter got his way in a Twins win.
Why am I not more excited?
Maybe because I am starting to doubt this team.
And I dont just mean doubt them, like, 'Hmm...maybe these guys aren't the best team ever.'
Maybe it's more like, 'Hmm....maybe this team kinda sucks and I should start getting ready for the Vikings and their autumn of discontent.'
Basically I'm counting down the hours to the trading deadline. Not like I'm excited to see if we land Soriano or Sweeney (we won't) but more because I'm anxious to see if Terry Ryan sees it like I do and decides to be a seller and not a buyer.
I think the Twins are going to be fine. They still have more young talent than any team in the sport.
But I don't really like their chances of hanging on to that wild card spot.
Maybe this year is just a process they have to go through.
They're at the 100 game mark (54-46), but there's as good a chance of them going 25-37 the rest of the way as there is of them going 42-20.

A Proper Send-Off

Bret Boone's time with the Twins appears to be nearing its end. The local papers are already writing his obituary, while wringing their own hands of all the jumping up and down they did about the deal in the first place.
So I thought I'd put together a nice photo essay summing up The Boone's tenure in Twinkies pinstripes.
Which photo best sums up Project Boone?

The Strikeout

The Boone strikes out fairly often these days. He often looks uncomfortable at the plate, swinging at bad pitches, or at least "pitcher's pitches", while taking hittable pitches right down the middle. His reaction of throwing the bat in the air and catching it in a singular, violent motion, seems to suggest insecurity. He wants everyone to know he can hit, and that he is upset that he struck out, and that he intends to get a hit his next time up.

The Muff

The Boone has won four gold gloves, and was brought to Minnesota as much for his glove as his bat.
But, much like his bat (.195, 1 walk, all singles), his glove has been a dissapointment.
When the Boone misses a ball he feels he should not have, he will sit or kneel on the ground where the mishap took place, again making it clear to all those around him that the Boone expects more of himself, and that he very well should have made the play.

The Double Play

The Boone has done this fairly regularly since joining the Twins. He's had plenty of opportunities, batting at the top and/or middle of the Twins order.
After killing a rally by grounding an 0-2 slider that was a foot outside to the left side for an easy 5-4-3 twin-killing, The Boone is left only one option - the same option pretty much any rally killing player is left with. Turn back towards the infield, and stare blankly with your hands on your head as you think to yourself - "It would have been better for my team if I had struck out."

The Agony

The Boone is not used to losing. It hurts. When he loses, or goes 0-for-4, or commits a costly error, it is more than he can bear.
This is a guy who once batted 4th for the American League All-Star team. This is a guy who put up numbers no 2B in history ever has. This is a guy who helped the Mariners win 114 games in 2001.
When that kind of success eludes the Boone, he is left no choice but to wretch on the field, as he attempts to purge the mediocrity from his body.

The Help

There have been suggestions that some of the numbers that The Boone accumulated in his glory years were obtained by less than ethical means.
I will make no such accusation.

The Tom-Hanks-on-Coke

Seriously look at that picture.
I swear this guy was in Turner and Hooch.
It looks like he shot an episode of Bosom Buddies, threw on an M's cap and buried his face in a mountain of blow.

Still Waiting

You may have heard that the Reds finally traded Joe Randa this weekend.
To the Padres.
For next to nothing.
So while the Twins lost three of five to Detroit, they did nothing to help their still feeble offense.
Meanwhile, Kyle Lohse stunk in Sunday's start, a day after Scott Baker (pictured) looked terrific in his second M.L. start. Baker also looked great in his first big league start, losing 2-1.
It couldn't be more apparent that Lohse or Mays (preferrably Lohse) are expendable. Baker is ready.
The Strib appears to be predicting a Lohse and or Romero for Bill Mueller and Kevin Millar deal with Boston.
Wowee, hooray, hooray.
It's gonna take more than that.
I still say the best, and at this point damn near the only option, is Mike Sweeney.
If they could get Alfonso Soriano, great. I don't see that happening.
*Big day for Morneau on Saturday. Is he coming around, or was it a fluke?
*Man, is Lew Ford bad right now.
*The Shannon Stewart in the 3-hole experiment is over. It was a good idea on Gardy's part, but no one else is capable of leading off, and Stewart didn't do much batting 3rd.
*The clock is ticking on Bret Boone. Hurry up and figure it out Booney. Right now you're doing no better (and possibly worse) than Luis Rivas.

Is there anyone that can help this lineup?

That's the question.
Thursday's 10-run explosion notwithstanding, the Twins lineup can't produce runs at all, and everyone is clamoring for Scott Ulger to be fired and for Terry Ryan to go get a hitter.
Who's he going to get?
Bill Mueller?
Hey, I'd take him if Boston would be willing to take JC Romero off our hands, that's a good deal. But Mueller is a No. 7 or 8 hitter, and we already have about 12 of those on our roster.
Interestingly enough, rumors have surfaced (namely on ESPN's insider page) that the Twins could be players for both Mike Piazza (no shit) and Alfonso Soriano.
I assume either of them would DH, but I would gauge the odds of Mike Piazza ever donning a Twins uniform at about 100 to 1.
Soriano on the other hand might not be totally far-fetched.
I have a feeling Terry Ryan might have something cooking. and if he does it might be big, because he has to know that Bill Mueller and Joe Randa, as nice as they are, really won't make much difference on this team. It's time to get drastic.
Still, Soriano is probly a long shot, so I'll hold out hope for Mike Sweeney.
While not the hitter he once was, he's still the goods, with experience, power, patience, and a hunger for postseason. He's hitting .305 with 13 homers. And he's sick of losing in KC.
Would KC make a deal within the division?
I think so. They're not going anywhere, and Sweeney's best days are behind him, so taking whatever they could get would be wise on their part.
How about Cuddyer and Dave Gassner for Sweeney?
*Sounds like Justin Morneau might soon be making a trip to Rochester. Wonder if T-Ry could get the Mets to throw in Dougie baseball in a Piazza deal.
*Brad Radke got ejected from Thursday's game (he wasn't pitching) from the dugout. Cool.
*Matt LeCroy needs more AB's. This is the guy they kept over David ORtiz. I'm not saying he's as good as Ortiz, he isn't. But if you made the decision, you might as well play him.
LeCroy has the best OPS on the team, and Lew Ford is becoming the next Rich Becker.
*I have a hunch that if Brad Radke could make all 34 of his starts against the Twins in a given year, that he'd go 29-2 with a 1.25 ERA. And he knows it.

Mario would be proud

Twins skipper Ron Gardenhire was spittin' mad with starter Carlos Silva after Monday's 3-2 Twins loss.
"We scored," Gardy said. "In the seventh inning we got a run. I mean, what the hell does he want? Two runs, 83 pitches through nine innings? That's just not gettin' it done. Our hitters battled their tails off. To see them work so hard to score not just one run but two and not get rewarded with a 'W' is really frustrating."
* The Twins are batting .198 in their 1-4 start to the second half.
* Every position player on the team sucks right now.
* The Strib reports the Twins may be close to a deal sending JC Romero to the BoSOx for 3B Bill Mueller. Whatever. Bill Mueller. Yay. I'm sure the bats'll be scorching with him in the 3-hole.

An eventful (and shitty) weekend

Like I said, alot of stuff going on this weekend.
After Sunday's feeble 4-hit, 10 K performance against John "Cy" Lackey, Gardy got on the phone to Terry Ryan asking if he can call up his son Toby to be the new DH, or so I heard. Granted, Toby is in A-ball, and considered a minor prospect, but hey, Gardy should be ready to try anything by now.
*Jim Souhan's column in the Strib suggests the Twins are considering sending Justin Morneau to the minors, which isn't terribly shocking, as the guy has been horrible.
But think about it. If he goes, the Twins will have a different starter at ALL FOUR INFIELD POSITIONS than they opened the season with (Morneau, Rivas, Barlett, Cuddyer). To have that much chaos in the lineup and still be 49-41 is amazing, and a true testament to the pitching staff, including Gardy and Rick Anderson.
*Saturday was a nice win, coming back from down 4-0 to win 5-4, against Bartolo Colon, no less.
Boone finally got his first hit in his 11th at bat, driving in the eventual game winning run.
It was clutch, coming with 2 outs and a man on third.
You can rip on Boone's 2-for-16 weekend if you want, but remember much of the Twins struggles have come from failing in situations like that one, and Boone is being brought in to be the "professional hitter", not necessarily a savior. He's had some good at-bats, but also struck out alot. Jury still out.
*Mike Ryan hit a 433-foot homer off Colon. I like Ryan. He has value. I hope he sticks around.
*One thing I have to point out that no one is talking about (enough, anyway).
The defense.
The Twins made two first inning errors Saturday, leading to three unearned runs.
This is becoming common.
The Twins are still regarded as a "small ball" team that "plays the game the right way" and blah, blah, blah, and talking heads on ESPN still talk about their great defense but that is a fallacy (phallacy? hmm not sure).
For all the talk of how the Twins needed to get rid of Mientkiewicz, Rivas, Guzman and Koskie, that infield made extremely few errors and won three straight division titles.
This year's bunch kicks the ball around and puts pressure on the pitching.
*A quick note on Rivas: The guy hasn't been getting it done, and no matter how bad he's slumping Bret Boone is an upgrade.
But the Twins would not have won their first AL Central title without in 2002 without Luis, and he deserves a nod for that.
*Can we stop gnashing our teeth every time the White Sox win? Get a clue, it's fucking over. They won it. Time to focus on the wild card.
*Speaking of wild-card, who else doesn't want to have to go down the wire against the Yankees, no matter how bad they've been so far?
*I wonder how long Gardy will stay with the lineup change (Punto leading off, Shannon Stewart in the 3-hole). It's not a bad idea, but it could change if the Twins add a new guy.....

Another new guy?

The guy you see in the picture is Mike Lowell, a three time NL All-Star who the Twins are apparently scouting very seriously. The Marlins have shown interest in Kyle Lohse, so don't be surprised if you see a deal.
Lowell is similar to Bret Boone, in that he has dropped off significantly this year.
Last year Lowell hit .293 with 27 homers and 85 RBIs, and in '03 hit .276 with 32 homers and 105 RBI. This year he's dropped off to .227 with 4 homers. But while Boone is 36, Lowell is 31, so there's a little more reason to think he can be productive.
But geez, instead of getting guys hitting .225 and hoping they turn it around, why don't we just get a guy like Mike Sweeney who we know can hit?

Bye, bye Luis

There were a million things that happened Saturday night that I could get to here, and I will, but not until Monday.
Probably most significant is that the Twins sent Luis Rivas to the minors.
I wouldn't be surprised if we never see him wearing the pinstriped No. 2 again.

A Gardy Shakeup

Saturday's Twins lineup had Nick Punto batting leadoff, and Shannon Stewart in the 3-hole. Mauer hit 4th.
That's kind of a big deal.
I'm not sure if I like it, but I guess I kinda do.
Stewart's been a bit overrated at the top, as his OBP and steals are down to career low levels.
But he's still hitting well, so a move to 3 might be a good idea.
Even though he's hitting over .300, Mauer has only 32 RBIs, not enough.
Lew Ford is not a No. 3 hitter. In fact, Matt LeCroy could be the everyday DH right now and I'd have no problem with that.
I also think Punto can be a good leadoff guy. He almost always has good At-Bats.
At least, it would seem, Gardy is finally willing to do more to shake things up than move Cuddyer to second.

0-4, K - Part II

Two games, 0-8, 2 K's for Booney.
But I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for at least a series because he hasn't played much in the last month (the M's had benched him before they released him).
Good news Friday?
Radke was terrific. Mauer hit a ball that could've should've been a homer.
4 hits, 2 runs...another one run 3-2 loss - that's the bad news.

A little too close?

We always here all about this team chemistry thing and how well these dudes get along.
Maybe they're getting a little carried away with that.

0-4, K

That would be Bret Boone's line in his first game batting 3-hole for the Twins.
I'm not going to make any judgements on one game.
But only two runs were scored, a fine performance by Kyle Lohse was wasted, and a 1-0 White SOx win put the deficit back at 10 games.
Morneau was not in the lineup, so we'll see what happens tonight. I think the Twins picked up Boone as much for Morneau's benefit (and Mauer's) as anybodys.
Just once, (okay 13 or 14 times in this second half) I'd like to see the Twins have one of those 15 run, 22 hit games.
Also worth noting, Gardy told the Strib that Punto will be the 3B when Cuddy comes off the DL.
I don't know if the Twins are interested in Cuddyer taking that role of power utility players he had last year, but he's done as far as being an everyday player.
I think there's a very good chance he'll soon be traded.

What a dork

Our Lord and savior, Bret Boone.

Boone Town

I have to admit, I'm much more excited about the Twins getting Bret Boone than I probably should be.
For as much as I have ripped on Michael Cuddyer (see 'I Hate You Number 5 - A Haiku'), Bret Boone's numbers are actually worse than those of No. 5.
I should also admit that Boone has always been one of my favorite Non-Twins players, even though I always thought he was on Roids. (Why isn't anyone talking about the steroid factor? - the Strib, the Geek, nobody brings it up!?!)
Thing is, as long as we're getting Boone for nothing, it's a great pickup. He's righthanded, still very good with the glove, and he's a VETERAN. Something we need.
Boone has a rep for being a little cocky and that's also a good thing.
I can just see him talking to Morneau:

JM (after a called 3rd strike): "That pitch was totally inside."
BB: "Why didn't you just hit it over the fence, pussy."
JM: "My elbow hurts."
BB: "What are you, 22? I'm 36 and play a positions where you have to do more than stand in one place all game long and I'm not complaining, pussy. God, what's with you Canucks? Do they only play 110 games in the Canadian Leagues? Sack up and start hitting the goddamm ball."

At least I hope so.
Truthfully, if Boone hits 10 homers and drives in 35 runs, that'd be great. If I had to bet money on it, I'd bet that Boone will do allright.
He'd better, because if he sucks again, his career is over.
He's going to be hitting 3-hole, my guess with Mauer moving up to 2.
Ideally, you could have:

LF Stewart
C Mauer
2B Boone
1B Morneau
CF Hunter
RF Jones
DH Ford/LeCroy
3B Punto
SS Castro
-Notice it alternates R/L all the way down. And notice I'm ready for LeCroy to start taking AB's from Lew Ford.

Of course, Gardy is to making lineups what Adam Sandler is to making good movies, so he'll probly bat Morneau 7th or something stupid.
The best news out of all this is that I don't think T-Ry is done. I still think the Twins might be in the market for Joe Randa. If they hold out til the deadline, the Reds might relent in demanding a top prospect.
Then you'd have Randa at 3rd, and presumably Punto at short with Castro as the utility guy. And all of a sudden you have an actual Major League infield.

Boone to be a Twin

The Twins are finalizing a deal to acquire 3-time All-Star and 4-time Gold Glove second baseman Bret Boone.
The M's will reportedly pay his salary.

Breaking down the break

The Holiday weekend has to be considered a success for the Twins.
They had to get at least five of six against KC and TB, and they did just that.
Then they opened a difficult road series with the Golden State Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim California-Los Angeles with a nice win. Scott Baker, the Twins second round draft pick in 2002, makes his long-awaited first Major League start tonight. Baker is one of the top prospects in the Twins entire organization - they're very high on him. I'm excited to see how he does. He pitched one scoreless inning of relief against the D-Rays while Rincon was serving his suspension.
As daunting as the 81/2 game deficit is, the Twins actually have a better record right now than they have at this point in the season in any of their three division championship seasons.
Still, it would be way cooler to hang a banner in the Dome for a fourth straight division title than that of a wild card, so even though there'd be no shame in qualifying for the playoffs that way, (as the last 3 World Series champions have) the Twins still want to find a way to catch their rivals.
The pitching, after a not-quite-brief-enough slump, seems to have righted itself, though Radke and his sore neck remain a question.
The bullpen is also going strong, with Nathan's control problems somewhat under control.
So of course, the big question remains the infield.
Lil' Nicky Punto is back, and that's great, but anyone who thinks he's the savior is wearing their ass for a hat.
Luis Rodriguez has been very good as well. The Twins were never high on him, but he's proving that he belongs in the big leagues.
And Juan Castro seems to get a couple big hits just when you're ready to bench him no matter how good his glove is.
Cuddyer sucks, and is hurt, Williams is hurt, Rivas sucks and is hurt......it remains apparent that the Twins need to add a player here.
The way I see it there are three serious options:
A. Joe Randa
B. Edgardo Alfonzo
C. Bret Boone

A: Randa
Age: 35
Pos: 3B
Bats: R
Salary: 2.15 M
Numbers: .296, 12 HR, 43 RBI, .367 OBP, 20 2B.
Odds of a deal: I'm guessing 10 to 1.
Randa has been discussed at length among the Twins Cities media and blogworld, including here, and I must say the above numbers are pretty damn good for a half season. In fact, he's having his best year since 1999-2000, when he went .314-16-84 and .304-15-106.
Over an 8-year career Randa's seasonal averages are: .287, 14 HR, 82 RBI, 35 2B, .342 OBP. He's never won a gold glove, though he's generally regarded as one of the top 5 or 6 in the game at his position with the glove. With his salary, the Twins could explore keeping him beyond this year, though at his age that'd surprise me. Then again, they need a veteran in that infield somewhere.
The Twins reportedly were close to a deal for Randa, but now reports say the Twins interest in 'The Joker' has cooled, though it isn't clear exactly why. My guess is the Reds asked for a front line prospect like Liriano or Durbin, when the Twins were thinking more along the lines of Cuddyer or Lohse.

B. Alfonzo
Age: 31
Pos: 3B/2B
Bats: R
Salary: 7.5 M
Numbers: .306, 2 HR, 30 RBI, .370 OBP
Odds of a deal: I'm gonna say 15 to 1.
The Twins haven't said this guys name out loud, which I don't know how to take. T-Ry usually plays things close to the vest. But right now he's on the DL, so depending on when he comes back he might not be going anywhere.
Five years ago Alfonzo was one of the top infielders in the game - hence the 7.5 M salary.
In '99 he hit .304 with 27 homers and 108 RBI and 85 walks with the Mets. He followed that up the next year by going .324-25-94, with a .425 OBP, 40 2B, a .542 SLG... the guy was good.
He slumped badly the next year batting .243, and while he rebounded the following season to hit .308 with 16 HR, he's never gotten back to the level of a premier player.
The Giants haven't officially declared themselves as sellers yet, but they're 10 1/2 games out, and seven games under .500.
Chronic injuries have slowed Alfonzo on the bases and in the field. He has a strong arm, and the know-how to play 2nd or 3rd, but he's no Gold Glover.
One problem: The last time the Twins and Giants made a deal, the Twins got Joe Nathan, Boof Bonser and Francisco Liriano for AJ Pierzynski.
Nothing against AJ, but some are calling that the greatest trade in Twins history, considering Bonser and Liriano have both been lights out in the minors.
Giants GM Brian Sabean will be leery of getting ripped off by the Twins again.

C. Boone
Age: 36
Pos: 2B
Bats: R
Salary: 9 M
Numbers: .231, 7HR, 34 RBI
Odds: 4 to 1
In 2001, Boone hit .331 with 37 homers, 141 RBIs, 118 runs, 206 hits....I could go on actually. Let's just say he had a decent season.
The following three seasons weren't quite that good, but he was still pumping out a minimum of 24 homers and 83 RBIs a year. He has also won 4 gold gloves at 2B. He was getting to be a borderline Hall of Fame player.
And now this year has been a disaster.
In 74 games, 52 K's, a .231 avg, 7 homers, a .299 OBP, a .385 SLG.....it's been bad. I won't even mention the potential role the steroid testing may or may not have played in Boone's sudden decline.
But I still think he's not a bad risk.
A change of scenery, and being thrust into the middle of a pennant race, could rejuvenate Boone at the plate.
And because the M's have already placed Boone on waivers, they can't hold out for top prospects from the Twins. After 10 days Boone is a free-agent and can sign with anyone.
The Twins can wait and try to claim him off the waiver wire, but any team with a worse record than the Twins would have first dibs.
Instead the Twins could offer Seattle a low level prospect or Luis Rivas and get Boone before he is exposed. They could even try a package deal and maybe land Eddie Guardado as well.
Either way, what's the risk here? Would the Twins be worse off by adding Boone and dropping Rivas or Abernathy?
No.
It could be a win-win situation for Boone and the Twins.

Put those brooms away

With the way the Twins have been going, just winning a series has to be considered a positive.
But even if Gardy and the boys won't admit it, it had to be tough not to get the sweep.
KC was 0-16 against the Twins and Sox prior to Wednesday's 3-1 win.
I think the real bad news, though, is that Glenn Williams, who had taken over as the team's starting 3rd basemen, is going to be out 6-8 weeks with a seperated shoulder.
The guy was playing well, and while he certainly isn't the long term answer at 3rd or any other spot, he was keeping Cuddyer's worthless ass out of the lineup.
It was also sad, because Williams, 30, had spent over a decade in the minors, never making it to the bigs. He finally gets the call-up, earns a starting spot, and seperates his shoulder.
There's a very good chance that he'll never get another opportunity to play every day in the big leagues again.
It's for that reason, I'm sure, that Williams was fighting back tears in the Twins locker room Wednesday night. Tough break.
I wonder if the Joe Randa rumors will heat back up.
On a lighter note, Pat Duncan, stat guru and baseball sage, has assembled his All-Time Twins team for the purposes of an online talk show that will air on the Argus Leader web-site. I'll be appearing as a guest to tell Duncan why Gagne is better than Versailles, Radke better than Pascual, etc, etc.
I can't remember Duncan's team, or teams (we decided to make a 1st team and 2nd team) but I made my own to be better prepared to argue with the smartest guy I know.
Here it is - Twins Town's All-Time Twins team(s):
First Team
SP - Blyleven, Kaat, Radke, Perry, Viola
RP - Aguilera, Guardado
C - Earl Battey
1B - Kent Hrbek
2B - Chuck Knoblauch
SS - Greg Gagne
3B - Harmon Killebrew
OF - Kirby Puckett, Tony Oliva, Torii Hunter
DH - Rod Carew
UT - Cesar Tovar
(Made Carew my DH to be able to include Killebrew, Hrbek, Carew and Knoblauch all on 1st team)
2nd Team
SP - Mudcat Grant, Dave Goltz, Dave Boswell, Camilo Pascual, Johan Santana
RP - Al Worthington, Jeff Reardon
C - Brian Harper
1B - Doug Mientkiewicz (he gets on because there are 3 1st basemen on the 1st team)
2B - John Castino (I know, he played mostly 3rd. Who else? Rich Reese, Todd Walker, Steve Lombardozzi?)
SS - Zoilo Versailles
3B - Gary Gaetti
OF - Bob Allison, Jacque Jones, Tom Brunansky
DH - Corey Koskie
UT - Roy Smalley

Feel free to make suggestions before Thursday afternoon show.

Hey Joe

A couple weeks ago I speculated that Joe Nathan's ERA was, "probly 0.75 in save situations and 10 in non-save situations.
The official number after his near debacle on Sunday and Monday: 1.11 in save situations, 9.00 in non-save situations.
See, Gardy I told you I was smarter than you.
When Nathan was warming up last night, I'll admit. I was nervous. He had looked that bad against Milwaukee on Sunday.
But then he was throwing gas and got the save easily.
I don't know. I guess the Twins have bigger problems than Nathan.
A win tonight and, hey, that's 3 in a row.

All Hail L-Rod

Way to go Luis Rodriguez. Congrats on your first homer.
Six home games coming up against KC and TB.
6-0 or 5-1. Have to.
Joe Nathan was stinky as all hell today. Good thing he had a five run lead.
Also, nice game by Lohse. I still think they should trade him for Joe Randa.
But apparently the Twins don't want Randa. That's the word circling around now.
Glenn Williams had apparantly temporarily taken Cuddy's 3B job, which makes me happy, because I hate No. 5.
But Glenn Williams is not the answer.
Hate to say it but right now the best thing that can happen to the Twins is probably for Punto to come back.
Lil' Nicky Punto. The difference maker. Wow.

Memo to Terry Francona

Hey Terry
I know you are responsible for selecting the American League All-Star reserves.
If you do not select Torii Hunter, who will not be voted a starter, you are an asshole.
Hunter is playing the best baseball of his life.
He is the epitome of what a player should be. He's the kind of player you point to and say to your 8 year old - Watch him. Play the game like he plays the game.
I've ripped on Torii before, for little things like his swing and pitch selection.
He still has those issues, but right now his will to win, and will to keep his ass-team afloat, are transcending those weaknesses.
If the Twins manage to somehow qualify for the playoffs this year - most likely as a wild card, Torii should be the American League MVP.
Don't be tempted to chicken out and pick someone like Santana, or Silva, or Nathan or Crain, or Mauer.
They are all good players having decent seasons.
But Torii is pretty much the whole team right now. I don't care if you end up picking 9 OF's for the All-Star team, Torii HAS to go.

Twins streak snapped at one

I had a feeling Radke would throw a good game, and he did a pretty good job.
And then the Twins get mowed down by something called Chris Capuano.
What a fucking surprise!
And the one run we got was on a homer by Torii Hunter.
Another shocker.
And JC sucked again.
I'm stunned.
God I hate you, No. 5.

First Glimmer

Well, okay, they got a win.
I almost would've rather seen the Tigers complete the sweep, because I'm a firm believer in needing to hit rock bottom before heading back up the mountain. But hey, maybe they had already gotten as far down as they could.
A nice game by Silva - actually, a great game given the circumstances, and kudos to Gardy for letting him finish the game, even when Detroit rallied in the ninth. Kind of sent a message to the other guys, "I don't trust you bozos not to screw this up."
The Twins now have nine games against Milwaukee, KC and Tampa Bay.
They need to win at least seven of those nine.
The way they've been going that doesn't seem likely, but they simply have to do it. And hey, a winning streak never hurt anyone, either.
Just a thought, guys.
I have a feeling Bradke is going to throw a good game tonight....don't know why, but I do.

I Hate You, No. 5 - A Hiaku

Fuck you, Cuddyer.
Seriously, fuck you, dick.
You can't play baseball.

Gallows Pole

Anyone else tired of hearing Gardy and Torii Hunter tell you not to panic?
Guess what assholes? It's time to panic.
Gardy told Pioneer Press columnist Tom Powers, "we're in a little bit of a funk."
Powers responded: A little bit of a funk? It's a Kool & the Gang type classic funk. It's a Gap Band, O'Jays, Curtis Mayfield type funk. Hey, it's the Commodores singing "Brick House" funk. Everything's pretty funked up.
Amen, brother.
Gardy, T-Ry, even TK, all deserve credit for how they, better than anyone else, have understood over the years that it's a long season. And there have been times when they were the only ones confident this team would be there at the end, and they were right.
That is why they do what they do for a living, and we sit at cubicles and bitch about them on message boards and fan blogs.
But now that I've put the obligatory respectful pleasantries out there, it's time to start ripping.
I'm going to go right down the list.

GM Terry Ryan - T-Ry has to go get someone. Now. The trade deadline is July 31, and usually any and all deals go down at or near the deadline. But by July 31 the Twins could be 16 games out (they're 9 back right now in case you missed it.) Reds third baseman Joe Randa is a veteran .300 hitter with decent power and a very good glove. He is signed only through this year for a very modest 2.15 million. (Come to think of it, for 2.15 million why the hell didn't the Twins sign this guy in the offseason? He's a really good player. For that cheap I wouldn't mind if the Twins signed him for the next 3 years.)
Kyle Lohse, Michael Cuddyer, Dave Gassner, Matthew LeCroy and Michael Ryan are all guys that we can part with rather easily.
Once Randa is acquired for Cuddyer and Lohse, it's time to look for a lefty pitcher.
However, I suggest the Twins consider Gassner, a Jamie Moyer type who you may remember won his big league debut early this year in a brief callup, or Francisco Liriano.
Liriano is probably the top pitching prospect in the Twins entire organization. He's just 21, but was recently promoted to AAA, where he struck out 8 in 6 innings allowing just one run in his first start. Yeah, he's 21, but JC and Mulholland suck.
Remember when the Angels called up Francisco (K-Rod) Rodriguez in 2002? He was 21, and they wouldn't have won the World Series without him. Liriano could provide that kind of boost.
Terry, your team can't hit. And contrary to conventional wisdom, they don't catch it all that well, either. And lately, they can't seem to pitch.
There's enough talent here to win 85 games almost by accident, but it should be apparent by now that 85 wins won't get it done this year.

Gardy - Glad that Gardy moved Morneau back to the cleanup spot even though he's struggling. Batting him in front of Cuddyer is absolutely horrendous lineup-making. In all honesty I'm having a hard time blaming any of this on my favorite whipping boy, because T-Ry hasn't given him very good toys to play with.
Just one thing, though. Get Shannon Stewart out of the outfield and put Ford out there. I don't care if it'll hurt Stewie's feelings - ask the pitchers who THEY'D rather have out in left.
Gardy said today in the paper that his team needed veterans. Well, maybe you and the rest of the staff should've considered that before you set out on a voyage to the World Series with a AAA infield and a 22-year old catcher.
Gardy knows how to handle players, his strength as a manager has always been the intangibles. But I sense that he's getting close to blowing his top.
Fine by me.
Let 'em have it Gardy. Maybe the problem with having such a young team is that they're all just happy to be in the league.
Maybe sending Cuddyer and Morneau to AAA for a week would snap some sense into them. Time to remind them they're here to win a goddamn pennant.

Pitching coach Rick Anderson - Might be the best in the business. He could prove it by figuring out why in the Goddamn Hell we have to be behind 2-0 at the end of the 1st inning every single night.

Hitting coach Scott Ulger - Fire him. Today. Now. Yesterday. This man has not one success story he can put on his resume. He has done absolutely nothing. Our hitters are being put down by mediocre pitchers with the quiet efficiency of a lethal injection.
Stick a wheelchair in the dugout and bring back Tony O.
Or, if you REALLY want to shake things up, bring in someone like Gary Gaetti or Brian Harper, or, if he'd take the job, Kirby Puckett.
It might help to have a hitting coach who ACTUALLY HAD MORE THAN 11 HITS IN HIS MAJOR LEAGUE CAREER!!!!!

And the players:
C Joe Mauer - Joe's doing a pretty good job. Probably deserves less blame than anyone on the 25 man roster. Maybe it's unfair to expect a 22-year old to do more than hit .297 with average power while playing the most demanding position on the field.
Too damn bad. They told us Joe was the next Ted Williams, or at least the next Don Mattingly.
All right then. Let's see a little more.

1B Justin Morneau - Justin is quickly drawing the ire of Twins fans, media, and presumably, front office. Early on it looked like he was going to hit .350 with 30 homers.
Unfortunately, he's been doing a spot-on Scott Stahoviak impression lately. He's been ornery, too. He got his panties in a bunch about Torii telling him to toughen up and play thru injuries (Wake up Justin...This is Torii's team. It's his job to tell you to suck it up!)
Then he got pissy about Gardy moving him around in the lineup, and it seems like he spends most of each game arguing with an umpire who just called his ass out on a pitch on the corner after he had just swung at one at his eyeballs.
I'm not kidding, send him to Rochester. Just for a week. See how he likes that. Garrett Jones, the AAA first baseman, is a big power hitting lefty, too. Bring him up for a week, see what happens.

2B Luis Rivas - Keep trying Luis. Until Punto comes back you're all we've got.
Actually, if we get Randa, Cuddyer will move to second, unless Cuddyer is who we trade to get Randa. Then, well, we wait for Abernathy to come off the DL, then Punto.

SS Juan Castro - Hard to complain here. They said he was gold glove material - and he has been. They said he won't hit much - and he hasn't.
But if Bartlett gets hot (he's hitting .307 at AAA right now) he might deserve another shot.

3B Michael Cuddyer - It'll be hard for me to hold back, here. This guy is really pissing me off. No one is expecting him to be everything Corey Koskie was, but Denny Hocking had better years than this.
And it's not just the ugly numbers, he looks terrible. He's got the deer in the headlights look when the ball is hit to him, and he's got it whenever he's up with men on base. This guy is the human rally killer.
The Twins have been blabbing about this prick for six years. He's starting to look to me like the quintissential "AAAA" player. Dominates AAA, stinks in the bigs.
I think part of his problem is that he's reading the papers too much. He obviously knows that all of Twins Territory hates him right now.
Trade him while he still has some value. Every 0-for-4 he racks up makes him less and less tradable.

OF Torii Hunter, Jacque Jones, Shannon Stewart, Lew Ford - Except for JJ, these guys are almost totally exempt from blame.
Stewie has been his usual consistent self. He's setting the table, but no one is coming to dinner. He does, however, stink in the outfield.
Lew isn't putting up out of this world numbers, but he's been very consistent, especially with runners on.
Jacque has been somewhat of a dissapointment. He's not hitting much, and lately he's been screwing up in the outfield. I think we can finally say with some certainty that this is his last year with the Twins.
Torii Hunter, however, has been without question the team MVP. He still isn't putting up the numbers he's capable of, but he's on pace for about 25 homers, 30 steals and 110 RBIs. The catch he made last night was brilliant.
This guy gives 150 % every night, and at times, he seems to be the one guy who actually cares if the team wins.
It's evident just watching how he handles himself on the field, this guy wants to win.
That's why he told Morneau to stop being a pussy - that's why he told Kevin Brown to suck it - that's why he slams into walls and scrapes up his knees and elbows on the turf - that's why, even though Mauer, Morneau, Santana, etc, get all the hype as the future of the team, the Twins are Torii's team.
While I'm always waiting for him to take it to another level on the field, the best thing he can do is stay on these young guys' case - "Hey assholes, I'm trying to win a pennant over here, wanna give me a hand?"

DH/PH Matt LeCroy - I know we all love this guy but seriously. Couldn't Juan 'The Large Human' Thomas do what he's doing?

SP Radke, Santana, Lohse, Mays, Silva - Silva, Mays and Lohse (last night's stinker notwithstanding) have either met or exceeded expectations for this year. I'd like 'em to be better but they won't be. Period.
As for Santana and Radke? They just need to get it together. Tighten the screws. They're doing all right, but not good enough. No more time to dick around. Start getting some fucking W's.

RP Rincon, Crain, Romero, Mulholland, Nathan, Guerrier - Same thing here. Just do a better job, please. Throw fucking strikes. Stop beaning hitters. That's the same as a walk, you know.

The White Sox are good. So are the Indians and Tigers. Even the Royals aren't too bad since they fired the Worst Manager in Baseball History.
Maybe the Twins thought the pennant was going to be handed to them. Right now it looks like Ozzie Guillen's got a pretty tight grip on it.

Wipe the Clock

Well I'm just going to shut up for awhile.
I kind of had a feeling that immediately after saying how the Twins could pitch but not hit they'd do something like this.
A 4-run first inning, seven runs total, and a loss thanks to 7 ninth inning runs by SF.
It's been a long time since the Twins have had a loss like that, but at least they hit the ball. I'm an idiot. Although....
Joe Mays=sucky
Joe Nathan=sucky
Terry Mulholland=sucky
One thing I will say, as have on numerous occasions, is to STOP USING JOE NATHAN IN NON-SAVE SITUATIONS!!!!!!
He gets lit every time. His ERA jumped to 3.81 thanks to last nights debacle (last year it was 1.62), and I'd be wiling to bet his ERA in save situations is about 0.75 and his ERA in non save situations is probly 10. I'm not exaggerating, I actually think that's a pretty good estimate.
I know you can't NEVER use him except with a lead, or he'd only get 45 spots a year.
But I think with the way he's gone, Gardy's going to have to:
A) be careful when he decides to bring him in, and
B) have someone ready to go in the bullpen whenever he comes into a tie game. If the first guy gets on, get him the hell out of there.

Countin' on a Miracle

Is this team going to hit enough?
That's the question that has been asked about the Twins ever since they regained their relevance as a sports franchise.
Everyone always talks about how pitching wins out in the end, and the Twins do have a ridiculously low 3.37 TEAM ERA right now.
Between the years of 1993 and 2000 the Twins didn't have ONE pitcher with enough innings to qualify record an ERA lower than that.
But the Twins pitchers, as great as they are, don't have a history of dominating, so even though pitching usually decides the playoffs, I wouldn't necessarily bet the farm that the Twins are going to win a bunch of 3-2 games against a quality opponent.
The Twins will need to hit, and they'll need to hit better.
But can they?
I want to say yes, because the team keeps talking about how great their hitters are going to be, but my unbiased, objective self says that no, the Twins will not hit enough with guys like Cuddyer, Castro, LeCroy, whoever's playing 2B, etc., eating up at-bats.
Right now Torii Hunter is carrying the lineup singlehandedly, but everyone knows there are too many holes in his swing, too many ways to get him out, for him to continue at this pace.
Torii will likely end up hitting .260 with 25 homers and 100 RBI. Fine numbers, but not enough to carry the team by himself.
If the Twins would bat Morneau ahead of Torii (or even behind him) while he's hot, it might be a good way to jumpstart Morneau's lukewarm bat, but Gardy doesn't think things through that deeply. Batting the Twins best power hitter sixth is serving no real purpose other than to punish him. I suppose it's Gardy's way of 'challenging' him, but batting Torii and Jacque 4-5 in front of him seems stupid. Batting Cuddyer behind him in the 7 hole accomplishes nothing. It basically gives pitchers no reason to pitch to Morneau.
The only real way to make this lineup work is for Mauer and Morneau to step it up. If they hit .300 with some pop it'll make everyone better. It might seem unfair to ask a 22 and 24 year old to do the heavy lifting on a team with World Series aspirations, but hey, the Twins said they could do it.
Let's see it.

Possible Undoings

The Twins have lost some games in frustrating fashion over the last couple days, especially frustrating when you consider the White Sox finally lost some games this week.
It got me thinking.
What are this team's weaknesses?
And what are the chances of them making a deal to shore them up?
After JC Romero's latest chickenshit performance, one of the first that stands out is lefthanded relief.
JC clearly cannot be trusted in any meaninful situation, and while it might be worth giving Terry Mulholland a crack at some bigger spots, hoping he can rely on his veteran guile, he's probably not the answer.
They had CJ Nitkowski in camp, and he had a great spring, but the Twins kept Matt Guerrier instead. Steve Kline and BJ Ryan won't be available, because the Orioles are in the race. Tampa Bay has a couple guys, but unless Casey Fossum could be had for cheap, the answer probably isn't there.
I'd kill to get Jeremy Affeldt away from KC, and I've heard he's available, but would either team want to make a trade within the division?
The guy I'd REALLY like to get, of course, is Eddie Guardado.
Eddie is back to his old self with Seattle this year, (I know because he's on my fantasy team), and Seattle again appears to be going nowhere. Would Seattle be willing to give him up for, say, Boof Bonser or Terry Tiffee? Or would they ask for Jacque Jones or Lew Ford, or worse, one of our top prospects like Francisco Liriano or Jason Kubel?
Tough to say, but I think it goes without saying that Eddie would be a perfect fit.
The other glaring areas of concern are in the infield. Lil' Nicky Punto was doing great, but he might be out for a month or more.
Castro is a whiz at short, but can the Twins afford to keep him in there if he can't keep his average above .230?
And while Michael Cuddyer hasn't been terrible at third, I'd say he has been bad.
A right-handed bat like Mike Sweeney (could he play 3rd?) Joe Randa, or Shea Hillenbrand would be a godsend for this team at this point. Hell, maybe the Astros would be willing to move Craig Biggio, even.
The question is what the Twins would have to give up. The Twins treat their top prospects like absolute gold, and that's a good thing. But it also means that they often trade starters in the middle of the season.
Remember Matt Lawton for Rick Reed, Mark Redman for Todd Jones, Bobby Kielty for Shannon Stewart? Doug Mientkiewicz for Justin Jones?
That might seem risky, shaking up a contending team's chemistry or whatever, but the Twins seem more willing to shake up the lineup and trade a seemingly entrenched starter than part with a promising minor leaguer.
Which means Jacque Jones, Lew Ford, Luis Rivas and Michael Cuddyer - maybe even Kyle Lohse, Juan Rincon and JC Romero - should all consider themselves to be on notice. I'd love to see LeCroy traded (as much as I love the guy he's essentially worthless, and they kept him over David Ortiz) but I doubt anyone would be interested.
My hunch is that either Cuddyer or Ford is sent packing. Both are at the point where they probably have the most value they ever will. Ford is a good player, but he's likely playing as well as he's capable of. Cuddyer better either get his shit together now, or the Twins have to deal him while other teams still have reason to believe he'll ever be any good.
Maybe they won't do anything. The Twins have never been a team to make moves just for the sake of making moves. But if they don't get more consistency out of the lineup, if they continue to get burned by lefties, and if Chicago stays hot, they'll likely be forced to do something.

Winning Doesn't Suck

My team won the other night.
Not the Twins, but my team, the one I play on.
It ended a losing streak of about 30 games. Now there were a variety of factors that contributed to that streak - which I won't get into here.
But what I will say is that I learned alot about competition during said streak.
Winning, no matter how much assembled talent you have, is hard. In a team sport, especially baseball, there are no gimmes. The game is hard, and is meant to be hard. The game is unforgiving, demanding and sometimes even cruel. No matter how many L's pile up, the game does not owe any W's. They must be earned.
I won't sit here and say we finally went out and played a great game - we didn't. But we did earn it. We did deserve it. And though it was a meaningless, non-league game, it was a terrific moment when the final out was recorded.
A weight was lifted from our collective shoulders, sure, but more than anything it reminded why it was worth it to keep plugging away even as the L's piled up.
A lesser team would've packed it in a while back, I think.
Lesser players, many of whom were a part of the streak, got tired of the losing, placed blame elsewhere, and quit. Many of them were far more talented players than the ones who picked up a win on Tuesday, but that just reminds how unforgiving the game is. Talent alone is not rewarded.
I don't know how many more wins we'll capture, but I do know that winning, like losing, can be contagious.
Tonight we host the number one team in the state - a club that is just shy of being minor league caliber.
And while I don't expect to win the game, I certainly don't dread it as much as I may have had we not won on Tuesday. With a win under the belt, even the toughest opponent seems a little less daunting today.

Where have you gone, Dick Martin

When Tom Kelly retired as Twins manager, Terry Ryan took advantage of the opportunity to do some house cleaning.
Most notable of those moves was removing the unpopular Dick Such, Kelly's longtime pitching coach and confidant. Such's replacement, Rick Anderson, has turned out to be maybe the best pitching coach in the majors this side of Leo Mazzone, so we can certainly chalk that up as a major victory for T-Ry.
Another, less publicized move, was the removal of long-time trainer Dick Martin, who was replaced by Jim Kahmann.
Martin was with Kelly and the Twins through the lean years, but one of the consistently positive traits of those teams was health.
The Twins rarely had any need for the disabled list during the TK years, and when they did, it was usually for Kent Hrbek's fat ass.
Kirby Puckett, Chuck Knoblauch, Greg Gagne, Brian Harper, Tom Brunansky, and pretty much the entire pitching staff almost never missed significant time.
From 1987 to 2001, the Twins had at least 6 players tally at least 130 games or 400 at-bats every season. Five times in that period they had 8 players reach those marks. And if you factor in that quite often there were marginal players on the roster, you have to assume that the numbers would have been even better if more players had been good enough to warrant staying in the lineup.
But ever since Martin left (and he left acrimoniously, selling his World Series rings and savagely ripping Terry Ryan and the Twins in the papers), the Twins have seemed to be battling injuries on a regular basis.
Corey Koskie, David Ortiz, Brad Radke, Joe Mays, Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Torii Hunter, Matt LeCroy, Doug Mientkiewicz, Luis Rivas, Nick Punto, Shannon Stewart, Johan Santana, Carlos Silva, JC Romero, Michael Ryan, Eric MIlton, Brian Buchanan, Jay Canizaro, Tony Fiore, Rick Reed, Bobby Kielty, and Grant Balfour have all spent time on the DL since 2002, many of them significant time. As best as I can figure that means the only regulars NOT to visit the DL since Martin left are Cristian Guzman (who was on the DL in '01), Jacque Jones, Kyle Lohse and Eddie Guardado.
There were a few grumblings in the papers about this subject, but the Twins said it was just a bad coincidence. After all it is hard to say just how much responsibilty a trainer bears for injuries. It would seem that where they make their money is in how fast they get players back from those injuries.
So it is perhaps in that vein that the Twins, very quietly, fired Kahmann after last year. Joe Mauer's knee injury was certainly nothing that Kahmann could've prevented, yet the fact that Mauer was never able to recover and unable to contribute during the playoffs may have cost the Twins a World Series berth, and that is almost certainly the biggest reason for Kahmann getting his walking papers.
Kahmann was replaced with Rick McWane, and this year's returns are inconclusive. Mauer and Morneau are battling again, though Gardy and Torii (rightfully, in my opinion) called those players out this week, saying basically - 'get your 22 year old asses out of the training room. Suck it up. This is the big leagues.'
The pitchers, namely Silva and Lohse, have had some minor flareups, but they've been managed. Joe Mays has bounced back wonderfully from a full year off from surgery.
So sure, it's possible that Dick Martin was just a lucky guy who never had to do any real work while in charge, and that Jim Kahmann was a terribly unlucky guy forced to work with a bunch of fragile wussies.
But you have to wonder, since Twins injuries have gone from an anomaly to a way of life in the last half-decade.

You Get What You Deserve

The MLB draft begins Tuesday, and this is the day that the Twins front-office proves their mettle as the smartest group of baseball men currently assembled in this country.
The Twins will almost certainly select at least five or six pitchers who will go on to pitch in the majors, maybe even forge productive careers.
It's important right now for the Twins to get some depth at catcher and the middle infield, as beyond Mauer there's really nothing, and after Bartlett, not much in the way of SS's. Unless you count last year's No. 1 pick, Trevor Plouffe, who's batting .156 in A ball.
But no matter how much success they have in filling those needs, rest assured they will pick up several quality arms. The Twins have also cornered the market somewhat in Venezuela and Australia, where they've picked up some promising talent.
The MLB draft obviously doesn't get the play of the NBA and NFL, because no one has heard of anybody. But it's a much more difficult process.
Chances are you or I could do a decent job making 7 picks for the Vikings, or 2 for the T-Wolves. Hell, just do whatever Mel Kiper says.
But in baseball, try picking 100 players from HS, college and international levels all over the world. These guys do their homework.
My biggest fear as a Twins fan is the day Terry Ryan retires or dies.
Because as long as he is alive, I think, the Twins will be a productive - and winning - franchise.

I am the smartest man alive!

Twins win in very impressive fashion Friday night over the Moose. With Kyle Lohse on the hill, even. Wow.
Saturday they take a 3-0 lead as Joe Mays takes a no-hitter into the 5th. Twins blow lead, then Gardy loses the game.
How?
He brings in Joe Nathan in a non-save situation - which it should be clear by now is a cardinal sin.
Then in the bottom of the 10th, with Mariano Rivera, the greatest closer ever on the mound, he sends up Mike Redmond and Juan Castro to lead off the inning. Doesn't bother to pinch-hit.
Mike Ryan is on the bench. Justin Morneau is on the bench. Matt Lecroy is on the bench. Hell, Santana and Radke were probably better options.
And these two bozos are sent up to try and start a rally against Rivera.
That is what we call the white flag.
"Nah, don't bother gettin up fellas, we'll just try again tomorrow."
It's almost disrespectful to Rivera to send up such a feeble set of hitters in the bottom of the 10th of a one run game. Mo was probably offended.
Since I'm pissed off about the game, I'll finish with by stealing from a great column by Reusse in the Strib today.
Anyone who knows me knows I think Tom Kelly is the smartest manager ever. Yeah, he had his faults - he was kind of a dick, and wasn't exactly nurturing to his younger players - but know one knew the game better. Reusse once wrote that of the 2,000+ games of Kelly's career he was outmanaged maybe 4 or 5 times. And anyone who remembers things like Brent Gates hitting a pinch-hit grand slam or Dan Masteller hitting a walk-off 3-run homer against Jack McDowell wouldn't argue.
This is an excerpt from the Reusse column running in Sunday's Strib.

A trip through the Star Tribune's archives earlier Saturday turned up a baseball notebook from April 27, 1996.
The lead item was a 36-year-old Viola being recalled from the minors by Toronto as he tried to come back from elbow surgery. Another item had Joe Torre, in his first season as Yankees manager, explaining why he would return Dwight Gooden to the rotation for an upcoming series with the Twins, rather than go with Rivera, who had been a minor league starter.
"Gooden is in better shape to pitch more innings than Rivera," Torre said.
One day later, Rivera pitched three scoreless innings in a 6-3 victory over the Twins in Yankee Stadium. He struck out the first four batters he faced.
Twins manager Tom Kelly was dead serious after the game when he said: "We don't want to face him any more. He's too good. He belongs in another league. He should be banned from baseball."
That nine-year-old quote provides more evidence that Kelly was the best judge of baseball talent you will ever encounter. Rivera was less than a month into his first full season -- still a potential starter in the view of some Yankees' folks -- and Kelly was declaring him to be unhittable.
All these years later, it is a shock when Rivera enters and he gets touched up for anything that resembles a rally.
Mariano was an overwhelming setup man for John Wetteland in that '96 season. The Yankees played in the World Series for the first time in 15 years and won it for the first time in 18. Then, they allowed Wetteland to leave for a $20 million contract with Texas, and turned Rivera into the closer.
This was a controversial decision with the New York media during the 1997 spring training. Kelly did not see it as a issue worth fretting.
"That means New York has Super Mario in the ninth inning now," Kelly said. "Am I supposed to feel sorry for Joe Torre because of that? I don't think so."
The Yankees lost to Cleveland in a division series in 1997, then won three World Series in a row. It took 33 victories to do this, and Rivera saved 18 of those games and won two of them.

Torii Gun

So Torii Hunter went 5-for-5 last night, including a grand slam.
Bradke gives up another first inning homer, and then shuts the Tribe down.
Sounds great but I actually thought it was a boring game.
And as for Torii, well, it'd be nice if he'd keep this going. Because it's my thinking that HE is responsible for the recent slump of Justin Morneau.
Morneau is great, the most promising slugger the Twins have had since Harmon Killebrew.
Having said that, he is still young and inexperienced enough that good pitchers are having luck getting him to chase pitches. Morneau may have the talent and the strength, but the one thing he hasn't yet developed is a Jim Thome-esque patience at the plate. Any guy with his kind of power should draw 100 walks in a year, and Morneau is right now on pace for about 45.
What does this have to do with Torii Hunter?
Well, Torii usually hits behind Morneau, and pitchers fear Morneau a helluva lot more than they do Hunter. So they are able to pitch around Morneau to get to Hunter, and lately that has led to two quick outs for a pitcher who can put the ball where he wants it.
Torii as always, is inconsistent with his approach, as just when it looks like he's committed to going the other way, he grounds into consecutive double-plays on pitches a foot outside.
But they need a righthanded bat in the lineup. It's up to Torii to make himself AT LEAST a .275-25-100 guy, if not better.
If he can do that, maybe Morneau will get back on that 35 homer pace.

Sorting Out the Bench

I don't know who the Most Valuable Twin would be approximately 30 % of the way thru the season, but I do know who I would select as the Unsung Hero, or pleasant surprise of this team.
Juan Castro.
This is a guy who was brought along as insurance in case Jason Barlett had to go back to the minors (which he did) and to be the utility infielder if Bartlett worked out.
Now the Twins say they expect Bartlett to be back before the year is over, and that's fine, but right now Castro looks like another one of Terry Ryan's brilliant on-the-cheap pickups.
The guy is a wiz with the glove, as he combines the slick and smooth playmaking of Guzman with the routine consistency of Greg Gagne.
But the knock on Castro is and always has been his glove (he came into this season with a .226 career average)
Yet as he assumes the role of starting shortstop, Castro is hitting a respectable .271 right now with 3 homers in 85 at-bats.
He probably won't keep his average that high, but if he can stay around .240 or .250 and hit the occasional homer he's a steal at his salary ($1M). After all those are about the same numbers Guzzie would likely put up, and he signed with Washington for about $6M. That was what we like to call a good non-signing on T-Ry's part.
The Twins have also made a pair of very necessary roster moves. OF Mike Ryan, who was hitting .302 with 5 homers was called up to replace Terry 1-for his last 30 - Tiffee, and placed Luis Rivas on the DL and replaced him with Brent Abernathy.
Twins fans will certainly remember Ryan, who has posted a .294 average in about 150 at-bats with the Twins.
He has power, speed, and gives the Twins a left-handed bat off the bench who is a threat to win a game at any time. This move was long overdue, as Ryan needs to be in the bigs to fill the Gene Larkin-Randy Bush-Chip Hale-Jose Offerman role that has been a key ingredient to every good team they've had.
As for Abernathy, he's intriguing.
A former 1st-round pick and US Olympian, he was a top prospect in Tampa Bay, but the Rays went thru a number of managers and eventually Abernathy was left out, even though he hit .260 in two full seasons in the big leagues.
Unfortunately, he's righthanded and not really able to play SS, so he's probably just going to be here until Luis recovers from his back injury, which he should in two weeks.
If the Twins aren't going to turn Luis into a utitlity player and allow him to play SS and 3B, then he's wasting a spot. The Twins basically have their two utility IF's (Castro and Punto)starting, and Rivas playing once every 10 or 12 days at 2B. Stupid.
They should just call up Augie Ojeda or keep Tiffee around.