So long, Kyle

Well, we got more out of the trade than the Cubs did.
Lohse was acquired from the North-siders way back in 1999 for....anyone? Rick Aguilera, who bombed for the Cubs and soon retired.
Kyle Lohse made sure to be just good enough to create false hope for about five years before finally bombing himself.
The Twins sent him to AAA, one month before he would've been eligible to refuse such an assignment.
One can only imagine how completely steamed he is tonight.
And for that reason I'm pretty confident that he'll never wear a Twins uniform again.
He'll be traded now, the team has no real choice.
While that might come as good news to Twins fans, who've hated on the righthander with the hot wife for years, it's a painful reminder that the Twins should've dealt him this off-season. He was coming off a year in which you could've argued that he was one of the top 5 4th starters in baseball, posting a career-best 4.21 ERA.
With a live arm and still young, he probably would've brought something of fairly significant value in a trade.
Now, with a 8.92 ERA and a bad attitude, I wouldn't expect more than a mid-level prospect with a 50/50 shot of ever reaching the majors.
I'm glad Gardy is finally addressing the team's horribleness and holding players accountable, and I'm glad Boof Bonser is finally getting a shot after two years of dominating AAA.
But this is a move that just doesn't feel good.
The Twins were bad for a long time, but patience and astute general managing eventually led to five straight winning seasons, the only such streak in team history.
That streak is almost certain to end this year, but what's far more scary is the feeling that this is just the beginning.
It's slipping away.........

Hopefully he can make three starts a week

Anyone for a two-man rotation?
8.80, 7.57 and 8.33.
No that isn't a random sampling of beer prices at AL stadiums, it's the ERAs of Carlos Silva, Brad Radke and Kyle Lohse.
The same three guys who were a more than respectable 3.44, 4.04 and 4.21 last year.
Ron Gardenhire finally made a move, sending Silva to the bullpen in favor of phenom Francisco Liriano, but I hope fans don't view the 'Cisco Kid as the season's savior.
He's still young and inexperienced, and big league hitters will eventually make some adjustments against him. Plus he's still on a limited pitch count.
And even if he's lights out, that only gives the Twins two quality starters.
Maybe Matt Guerrier, who's proven himself in long-relief, should get a shot. Or Boof Bonser, who is 3-2 with a 2.01 ERA for Rochester after leading Triple-A in K's last year.
They couldn't do worse than the current bad three.
Considering they have a 5.51 team ERA (only that low because of the bullpen), it's amazing the Twins record is 17-21.
If last year's team had posted a 5.51 ERA, they wouldn't have won 50 games.
I still just can't believe the pitching has been so bad.
Which has also further exposed Gardy's faults as a manager. He gets outwitted almost every night. It's sad.

Gardy...you're an idiot

Twins scored 7 runs in the 1st inning against Mark Buerhle (I think the clock is supposed to be a reference to how fast he pitches) and he won the game.
That's bullshit.
At one point the Twins had runners on 1st and 2nd with nobody out, and Luis Castillo bunted into a triple play.
Question.
Why, in a 9-7 game with runners on would you bunt with your best hitter?
Castillo's hitting .357, and like .450 against lefties, and Gardy takes the bat out of his hands.
That's retarded.
So was leaving Carlos Silva in the game when he obviously had nothing.
So was not pinch-hitting Joe Mauer for Mike Redmond in the 9th.
How long is he going to wait to put F. Liriano in the rotation?
And hell, the way he pitched Sunday, maybe Matt Guerrier should get a shot, too.
Silva's ERA is now 9.20. More runs allowed than innings.
3 of the Twins 5 starters have an ERA over 7.75.
The rest of the team suddenly looks like a contending baseball club - so I don't think it's fair for Gardy to keep letting guys go out and get shelled.
But sadly, I've come to expect that Gardy will continue to stick by 'his' guys, no matter how bad they suck and no matter for how long.
*I also need to make mention that right about the time I started openly doubting whether Justin Morneau would ever pan out, he started hitting.
He's having much better at-bats, he's hanging in against lefties, and hitting the ball well to the opposite field. Just think, if Rondell White was hitting even .250 with 5 homers (which would've seemed like a failure back in March), how much of a difference that would make.
All a sudden, from Stewart, Castillo, Mauer, Hunter, Cuddyer, Morneau - the Twins 1-6 hitters aren't too bad.

Ugly Athlete No. 6 - Sam Cassell

They're back....the ugliest athletes in sports.
And when you're talking ugly athletes, one of the first names to enter the discussion is always Sam Cassell.
Maybe one of the most obnoxious players in the NBA (and to be fair, a talented point guard who has turned every team he ever played on into a winner) Cassell's appearance is so jarring at first glance that it warrants sympathy.
The skull, the eyes, the teeth, he actually resembles most artist renderings of alien life forms.
Sorry Sam, it's nothing personal. You're just really fucked-up looking.
Sam Cassell
Pro basketball player
1994-present
Ugliness: 10
Creepiness: 10
Identifying characterstic: Huge rear skull area, beady eyes that lie on opposite sides of his head, sharp fangs ideal for tearing the flesh of homosapien life forms.
Looks like: Cross between E.T. and Yoda.

Zimmer: 0-2, K

So I played for the Canaries on Sunday, and grounded out against Sioux City Explorers ace Tom Lipari.
I also struck out looking in the 9th when Abner Arroyo graciously offered to let me hit for him.
Getting to do it with my lifelong teammate and friend Phil made it an even more memorable experience.
The Canaries players were really funny, friendly guys, and manager Mike Pinto is, as I've said before, one of the nicest people you could ever meet.
It was a beatiful day, and standing in right field as they played the national anthem was kind of overwhelming.
I spent most of the game in the dugout sitting next to pitcher Tony Cogan, a former KC Royal. What a great dude. He could've easily told any of us to buzz off, but we chatted through the whole game, and he had some nice things to say about my swing, which was very cool.
Chad Hermansen said he wanted to see Mission Impossible 3. I told him that Tom Cruise is gay, and therefore he shouldn't go.
He said, yes, I know Tom Cruise is gay, but the movie still looks cool.
But once the game started Hermansen never said a word to anybody, and I think he went 0-4. But playing next to him in the OF was really something. The guy played like 5 years in the big leagues, was a former 1st rd draft pick and I have like 5 of his baseball cards. And I was playing right next to him. At one point he looked over at me, gave me the horns and said, 'Two down, Matt.'
Awesome.
A guy named Mike Schmidt got to walk and actually scored a run, and also made a catch in RF.
One of the guys there was a total retard, and he almost ruined the experience for all of us. He made two big errors in RF that cost the Canaries three runs, and Pinto was pissed. Like Phil said, If I was that guy, I wouldn't have been able to come back into the dugout.
Phil struck out looking but got a couple of big hacks.
Backup catcher David Hoffman (I think that's his name anyway) saw Phil take a big rip and miss and said, 'Geez that was a good hack.'
I was like, yeah, he hits bombs all the time for our amateur team, and he said, 'God it would be awesome if he hit a bomb.'
I said, "No shit."
The tryout wasn't much - I don't think they would've given any of us a second look even if we'd hit 10 straight pitches over the centerfield fence.
But they at least pretended to be interested, which was nice. Bart Zeller, the hitting coach, is 65 going on 21. He's in great shape and told jokes the whole time. He told me that I hit BP better than half his players (for the record, I had a much better round of BP than I usually do, but they don't have to know that).
Rich Hyde, the pitcher/pitching coach, was also a real nice guy, but I'll be surprised if he throws 20 innings this year. He didn't sound optimistic, and he spent the whole game icing his arm even though I never saw him throw a ball all day.
I know the whole thing was mostly a publicity stunt (and a failed one at that considering hardly anyone showed up), but it was so much fun for us, and it was especially cool that the players and coaches were so good-natured about the whole thing.
And by the way, it wasn't my idea to make such a big damn deal of it in the newspaper. Having that big spread in there is about as embarassing as Dan Christopherson giving me the Kirby Puckett introduction at the game.
Oh and by the way, Nick Punto sucks and I'm this close to giving up on the Twins this year.

Wild & Twins - A Case Study for the Future

As many of you well know, the Twins have a rather long history of playing the 'small-market' card.
You know, where they bitch about their ballpark and how they don't have any money, brag about how smart Terry Ryan is for putting together winning teams on a budget, etc, etc, etc, while ignoring the fact that their owner, Carl Pohlad, is one of the richest in baseball. He's also 417 years old - apparently none of his kids have ever had the balls to use the phrase 'You can't take it with you' in his presence.
Anyway, with the Twins as close to a new ballpark as they've been, I got to thinking.
Is the new park really going to change anything? Are the Twins going to become the new Yankees suddenly, or even the new White Sox?
What's to stop the Pohlad family from keeping the payroll right where it is and pocketing the extra revenue?
Would anyone be surprised if they took the attitude of, 'Hey Terry, you've been winning with a $50 million payroll, why don't you just keep doing that. We like this extra $200 million in yearly revenue. Dad needs to have his head cryogenically frozen so he can keep an eye on his cash.'
Don't think so? Trust the team to keep their word and spend money on free-agents?
Just look North to St. Paul.
The Minnesota Wild play their home games in the most amazing/beautiful hockey venue on Earth. They sell tickets and merchandise at ungodly prices, and fans eat it up. Can't get enough.
I myself paid almost $200 for a pair of seats that were halfway up the Arena, and I enjoyed the hell out of myself. I'll do it again next year.
You would think, using the Twins definition, that the Wild would qualify as a "large-market" team. Because let's face it, it has nothing to do with the size of the market, it has to do with the depth of the owners pockets and the owners willingness to reach into those pockets - which the owners themselves try to tie to a shiny, trillion dollar stadium that they are loathe to contribute to financially.
(What is it about rich people being so fucking cheap? I make barely 30K a year and blow money on beer and playstation games left and right while Worldcom CEO's refuse to pay for toilet paper and coffee filters. Ridiculous.)
And the Wild, with a seemingly endless supply of revenue flying in on a nightly basis, are $14 million under the salary cap. I'm sure the paying customers (who saw the team raise season ticket prices after another losing season despite extending the streak of consecutive sellouts to 228) are happy that their money is being spent so well.
Wild GM Doug Riseborough's answer when asked recently if the Wild would spend to the cap max next year was practically a no-comment (the upcoming offseason will be one of the biggest free-agency periods of recent memory), and the team has been non-commital about re-signing Marian Gaborik, who missed 17 games this year and still scored a team record 37 goals.
If the Wild are willing to be that cheap, why won't the Twins?
I'm certainly not saying that teams should spend irresponsibly just because they can afford to, but having the revenue from a new stadium that (in the Twins case) you forced onto the public without a referendum seemingly obligates you to make decisions based on winning first, and budget second. Doesn't it?
Gaborik has made it clear that he wants to get paid. If he asks for a few million more than he's worth, the Wild should pay him anyway, because they can. He's the superstar, and signing him would act as both a thank-you gesture to the fans and a sign of commitment to winning.
The Yankees overpayed for Johnny Damon and everyone knows it, but it was still a good move because the Yankees had to have a CF, and they can afford his giant contract.
Tying this back to the Twins....let's say in 2011, 32-year old Johan Santana is looking for a new deal.
Joe Mauer will be making big bucks by then, and hopefully Justin Morneau, Denard Span, Matt Moses, Justin Jones and Alex Romero will be as well.
At 32, Santana will be old-er, but certainly not old. The Metrodome Twins would probably let him walk.
But if the Twins are playing in 'Northland Ford Stadium' by then (you know they'll call it something gay like that), averaging 30,000 fans at $30 a pop, they would be able to afford a much larger payroll at that point.
Will they lock-up Santana, ensuring he retires as a Twin?
Or will they, like the Wild, look for every conceivable reason not to spend money?
I guess we'll see, but I know where I'd bet my money.

It's not time to bail, but it's really fucking close

First, the numbers.
33-1: Score of the Tigers series.
3-12: Twins road record.
0-9: Twins record against AL Central teams not from Kansas City.
.365: Twins team slugging % - last in the majors.
6.28: Twins team ERA - last in the majors.
4.0: Twins runs per game - last year they were at 4.2.
9-15: Twins record.

9-15 in itself isn't a total disaster, although it is bad. But when you're 9-15 and coming off one of the most embrassing 3-game series' in recent baseball history...well, things can't get much worse.
The fact that the Twins offense has so far been worse than last year's is surprising but certainly not shocking. Shannon Stewart, Luis Castillo and Joe Mauer have been great at the top - but Torii Hunter, Rondell White and Justin Morneau have been worse than even the most vengeful White Sox fan could ever have hoped for.
Juan Castro's magic lasted a week, and Tony Batista hasn't provided enough power to compensate for his shortcomings.
But of course none of it has mattered. The Twins pitching staff, considered by many to be the best in the league and by all to be at least one of the best, has in fact been the worst.
Worse than the KC Royals. That's right - the KC Royals, whose rotation consists of Scott Elarton, Joe Mays, Mark Redman, Runelvys Hernandez and somebody else - has been better.
It's been utterly shocking, and no one saw it coming.
This is the same team that went 5-1 against the A's and Yankees, two of the best clubs in baseball. They can't be this bad....can they?
I don't regret for one minute picking this team to win the Central, because if every player on the team had simply repeated his performance from last year the Twins would add at least a few wins to their total of 83 by way of adding White and Castillo and subtracting Joe Mays.
And while I suppose it's still possible that guys like White and Hunter will start hitting and it's actually probably likely that the pitching will at least get somewhat straightened out - I'm more worried about what could happen while we all wait for that to happen.
How long before these guys start trying to kill each other?
What will happen to Justin Morneau's fragile psyche? Could he be lost forever?
Will Joe Mauer or Johan Santana become disenchanted with the franchise?
I'm not totally ready to give up on this season but it won't take too much more of this, and if we get to that point you've got to blow the whole thing up and blow it up good.
That means trading Hunter, Stewart, Radke, Lohse, Ford and maybe even Castillo, and giving White, Nick Punto, Ruben Sierra, Matt Guerrier and Batista their outright release.
From there, you take guys like Morneau, Michael Cuddyer, Jason Kubel and Jason Bartlett and stick them in the lineup and play them every single goddam day for the next two seasons to find out once and for all if they can play or not.
You also call up guys like Boof Bonser, Pat Neshek, Denard Span, Alex Romero, Matt Moses, etc, and see what they've got.
Oh, and you fire Ron Gardenhire.
I'm not saying this is all his fault, but I'm certainly not going to absolve him either.
I say give Gardy until the All-Star break to get the guys going.
If he can, great, but if he can't, I think it would be best to enter into a rebuilding project with a new regime.
The current one would have already failed too many of the players you'd be building around.
More than anything, I'm just really sad.
The Twins are my life in the summer, and its painful to see them not even compete. And I don't mean not compete for the playoffs I mean not even compete on a day to day basis.
I guess I should look on the bright side. It may suck to be a Twins fan right now, but hey, it's better than being a Twins player.

Cuddy Does It

First off, I'm happy for Michael Cuddyer.
He's had more downs than ups through his Twins career, some due to the team jerking him around, some due to his own failures.
But he got a big hit last night (off JC Romero no less) to give the Twins a big win.
The pitching still sucks, and the Twins are still finding ways to win.
Unfortunately, the starting pitching is far from the only thing failing the Twins right now.
I've been overly optimistic with this team since the winter, but right now I see a lot of ominous signs.
*Rondell White. He's been terrible, and I'm less and less confident every day that it's just a slump. Ruben Sierra had some good swings last night, but he can't play every day. White simply has to get it together.
*Tony Batista. Just when I was allowing myself to think he might actually be able to put together a decent season, he's looked horrible for the last two games. His swing is so long, and against pitchers who can bring it in the mid to high 90's he simply doesn't have the bat speed. At least he's shown more patience than has been the norm for his career.
*Matt Guerrier. The guy's throwing batting practice out there. He looks awful. His numbers last year (a 3.39 ERA) were sure nice, but he rarely was asked to pitch in key situations. So far this year he's been unable to take on a larger role. With veteran lefty Dennys Reyes off to a great start in AAA, I wouldn't give him a long leash.
*Jesse Crain. You can't get major league hitters out by just throwing 94-mph fastballs, Jesse. Yeah, that's pretty fast, but not fast enough to live without offspeed stuff. So far Juan Rincon and Francisco Liriano have been the only reliable middle relievers. And even that's tenuous because.....
*Kyle Lohse. He did a nice job against Oakland but his other two starts have been ugly. In his first start against Cleveland he didn't even compete. As much as I want to be careful with Liriano, you've got to look into trading Lohse while he still has value.
The only difference is before I would've said trade him for a bat, now I might consider trading him for a reliever.
*Coaching. There's no denying that the offense has been a million times better so far, continuing to come from behind while finding a variety of ways to score runs from a variety of sources. But their situational hitting is still awful, and amateur baserunning mistakes are still too common.
Twice in the last week they've loaded the bases with no outs against an All-Star closer. And both times each of the first two hitters failed to get the run home. Yes, they got a clutch 2-out at-bat to get the job done in both cases, but that's beside the point. One of the most important aspects of winning baseball is scoring runs with men on 3rd and less than 2 outs. And no team has been worse in recent years than the Twins. I don't expect hitting coaches to be able to miraculously make Nick Punto into Chuck Knoblauch or Torii Hunter into Kirby Puckett. But it's their job to make them smarter and more effective situational hitters. They haven't done it so far.

Some other observations from around the league:
*Curt Schilling appears to be back. He's 4-0. Right now the Red Sox look like a better team than the Yankees.
*Speaking of the Yankees, Jason Giambi sure looks good. Last year at this time the Yanks were trying to talk him into accepting a demotion to AAA. Right now he's one of the best offensive players in the game.
*A-Rod is so much better in the field than Derek Jeter it's not even....well, close.
*Remember Rob Bowen, a minor league catcher who got a couple cups of coffee with the Twins the last couple years? He was claimed off waivers by the Padres this spring and he's on their roster. That's not so hard to believe. The fact that he was batting 4th in the Padres lineup last week, is. The guy has a career average of .108. A career on-base percentage of .190. A career slugging percentage of .189. In 2004, he batted .197 in 249 at-bats at AA! And he bats cleanup for the Dads. Managers these days are too fucking lazy.
*The Royals are soooooooooooooooo bad. It's pathetic, sad, depressing, tragic - how could you possibly be a fan? They're absolutely terrible, and they can't even say they're rebuilding or have a future. They're playing a bunch of washed up vets. Joe Mays is D-U-N done, and he's their No. 2 starter.
And the Royals recently added seats to Kauffman Stadium. Yeah, cuz people are knocking down the doors to see this team. Their best young pitcher, Zack Greinke, is currently on indefinite leave as he gets treatment for clinical depression. He's apparently considering quitting (he's 22). If that doesn't sum up the Royals, I don't know what does. Sad, sad, sad.
*The White Sox look pretty good. Fat-ass (Ozzie Guillen's words) closer Bobby Jenks is getting it done, and Jose Contreras and Javier Vazquez have been nasty. Jon Garland is proving that last year was indeed a fluke, but if the other 4 starters are this good it won't matter. If the Twins pitchers dont get their act together they won't be able to compete with the Sox. Not with....
*Jim Thome hitting like a mad-man. He's scored a run in all 15 Sox games. Let's just be happy Rick Reed is retired.
*At this point its the understatement of the century, but Albert Pujols is the best hitter in the game.
In five seasons before this year, he posted a .332 average, .621 slugging pct, 201 homers, 621 RBIs and 401 walks while striking out only 332 times.
In case you're really bad at math that means he's averaged 200 hits, 40 homers, 125 RBIs and 80 walks per season, in the first five years of his career.
And now this year he's hitting .354 with 10 homers and 22 RBIs through 15 games.
It won't be long before he starts getting the Barry Bonds treatment and draws 200 walks a year.
The difference? Pujols is that good without steroids.
He's 26. We might be talking about the greatest hitter ever by the time he's done.

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

It's a good thing they moved Sunday's Twins game back to 3 p.m., cuz Morneau's probly a little hung over from all the Jag-Bombs I gave him last night.
I'll just pretend for another day that I'm not concerned with how terrible and clueless Rondell White has appeared.
Or that Jesse Crain hasn't shit his pants in every key spot he's seen so far.
I'll just celebrate the fact that I was in attendance for one of the more memorable regular season Twins games in recent history.
8 Jag-Bombs: Morneau. Dude, awesome. There's hope yet.
4 Jag-Bombs: Joe Mauer. Great at-bat first time ever facing Rivera, ends with a knock.
4 Jag-Bombs: Luis Castillo. 4 hits, including a dribbler to start the 9th (I thought he was out)
4 Jag-Bombs: Juan Rincon. Top 9, Yanks lead 5-4 with a runner on 3rd and 1 out. Sheffield at the plate. Any contact and it's a two-run Yankee lead and the game is essentially over.
It goes 3-2, and Sheff fouls off 8 pitches in a row. Rincon keeps pumping strikes, eventually K's him. Biggest at-bat of the game.
2 Jag-Bombs: Francisco Liriano. Another good job. He's pretty good.
2 Jag-Bombs: Juan Castro. Is it possible that he's the MVP so far? Wow.
4 Car-Bombs: Crain. Way to go.

Twins 5, Yankees 1

It was really fun to tell the 5,000 or so Yankee fans at Friday night's game to stick it.
Thanks to Scott Baker.
He was terrific.
4 Jag-Bombs: Baker. 7 innings, 3 hits, 1 run. Against a loaded lineup.
3 Jag-Bombs: Lew Ford. 2 hits and a terrific throw to nail Jorge Posada trying to score at home. Posada might be my least favorite Yankee ever, so that was cool. You suck, Posada.
3 Jag-Bombs: Juan Castro. Knew the dude could play the field. But right now he's hitting, too. Executed a text-book hit and run to set up a run in the second (he hit the ball right to the hole where the 2B had been, God it was beautiful), then finished a nine-pitch at-bat with an RBI single in the 8th. Right now Gardy looks pretty smart for picking Castro.
2 Jag-Bombs: Juan Rincon. Great job getting out of that jam in the 8th. Rincon is a stud.
1 Jag-Bomb: Johnny Damon. Thanks for still throwin like a girl, Johnny. Means I'll always have taunting ammunition no matter the score.
2 Car-Bombs: Rondell White. Hit the fucking ball.
1 Car-Bomb: Justin Morneau. His 4 early homers have overshadowed the fact that he's still holding onto many of his bad habits, and he's hitting, what .211? Not out of the woods, yet.

M&M Part Deux?

Okay, I'm probably jinxing them just by bringing the M&M thing up at all, but early on both Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau look as though they are going to take a step forward this year.
Mauer reminds me more and more of Don Mattingly every time he steps in the box. I just want to see a homerun or two.
And Morneau, right now, looks like a cinch to end the 30-HR drought.
Of course he was hitting .400 on May 1 last year, so I'm trying my best to temper my enthusiasm.
But I've been saying it all winter - Castillo, White and yes, even Batista, may prove all to be nice additions, but if this team is going to be a winner it'll because Mauer and Morneau have big years.
Having a healthy Torii Hunter, along with White and Batista, seems to be a big benefit to Morneau. Last year he was really the only dangerous guy in the lineup, and everyone knew it.
In hindsight then it is perhaps not surprising that he failed to carry the lineup. This year with a few other 20-HR (or more) guys surrounding him, he doesn't feel like he has to hit all the homers.
My projections for these guys as of today, are:
Mauer: .319 avg 17 HR 91 RBIs
Morneau: .267 avg 34 HR 108 RBIs
With some luck those numbers might prove to be conservative.
*Here are just some random odd stats that show just how strange April is in the big leagues.
Juan Castro is hitting .318. Rondell White is hitting .100.
Carlos Silva's has 1/3 as many walks (3) as he had all last year (9).
Brad Radke, perhaps the worst offensively supported pitcher ever, has a 5.54 ERA, and is 2-0.
And Bronson Arroyo, who had been an American League pitcher his entire career before this year, has 2 homers in 2 starts for Cincy. Barry Bonds is homerless.
Wednesday night Jag-Bombs/Car-Bombs:
4 Jag-Bombs: Tony Batista. He's hitting .292 after a 3-hit night. Cut out the box score.
3 Jag-Bombs: Juan Castro. As mentioned, he's hitting .318. Cut out the box score.
3 Jag-Bombs: Shannon Stewart. Keep it up Stewie.
3 Jag-Bombs: Torii Hunter. If he could face Esteban Loaiza once a week he'd win the MVP.
3 Jag-Bombs: Justin Morneau. Do they dare move him back to the cleanup spot?
2 Jag-Bombs: Joe Nathan. 1-2-3. Nice.
1 Jag-Bomb: Carlos Silva. Another early-inning thud followed by a late flourish. Are these guys warming up properly?
1 Car-Bomb: Carlos Silva. If your fastball is that bad, stop throwing it.
1 Car-Bomb: Rondell White. Dude, I'm fairly confident I could get 3 hits in 30 at-bats.
1 Car-Bomb: Shannon Stewart. You don't get picked off, dude. You just don't.

Jag-Bombs/Car-Bombs

Today I begin another new feature.
The Jag-Bombs (and Car-Bombs).
Based on performance, I will hand out Jag-Bombs to those who are most deserving (played good) and Car-Bombs (played bad...cuz Car-Bombs taste like my ass).
Here are Tuesday night's Jag-Bombs, after the Twins 7-6 win over the A's.
4 Jag-Bombs: Tony Batista - clutch 3-run jack. If he does that with any regularity, I don't give a shit what his OBP is.
4 Jag-Bombs: Joe Mauer - a textbook game at the plate. He's hitting the ball to all fields with authority and running the bases hard. This guy's good.
3 Jag-Bombs: Luis Castillo - another good game at the dish and a few great plays at 2B. This guy might literally be 23 times better than Nick Punto.
2 Jag-Bombs: Joe Nathan - struggled with command somewhat, but he was hitting 98 on the gun, something he never does at this point in the season.
1 Jag-Bomb: Justin Morneau - frozen rope for a dinger - I'm feeling good about his chances to break the 30-HR barrier.
1 Jag-Bomb: Juan Castro - I'm not saying I approve of the decision to demote Jason Bartlett, but there is no way in Hell he makes that play to end the 8th that Castro did.
1 Jag-Bomb: Brad Radke - The second inning was a struggle, and the pitch he threw on Crosby's homer in the third was unforgivable. However he was pretty solid after that.
And now, the Car-Bombs.
3 Car-Bombs: Jesse Crain - Second time already he's come in to a game and served up a 2-run homer. This kid's making me nervous.
2 Car-Bombs: Radke - Come on, dude. When your offense is trying to work out of a slump, you're not helping things by putting them in a 4-0 hole. Knock it off.
1 Car-Bomb: Rondell White - Dude, you're trying waaaay too hard. You're swinging at pitches way out of the zone, and taking pitches right down the middle. Yes, they expect you to have a good year. No, they don't expect you to do everything by yourself.
Chill.

Comin' home at 1-5

While it never ceases to amaze me how impatient baseball fans can be considering the season is 162 games long, I have to say even I am a little disturbed at the Twins 1-5 start.
Mostly because Tony Batista, Jason Kubel and Rondell White have been terrible at the plate.
Batista doesn't really surprise me, but Kubel and especially White are upsetting.
Stewart, Castillo and Mauer are getting on base. The big boppers need to hit. Right now they're not even hitting a little. They're not hitting at all.
Hopefully the homestand will help, although it won't be easy given that they're taking on Oakland and the Yankees.
Considering the first trip through the rotation has been more or less disastrous, I think Radke owes it to everyone to put an end to this crap and throw a shutout tonight.
And if he doesn't, well - the Vikings would still be alive at 1-6, so I don't think the Twins need to panic, what with 155 of these things left.
The best reason for patience is the 1991 Twins, a team that bears a lot of similarities to the 2006 Twins.
Both teams added a few mid-level free-agents in the off-season that the team was excited about, yet most fans and media observers scoffed at.
The '91 Twins lost two out of three in a season opening series at Oakland, then lost seven straight in Seattle and Anaheim to limp home at 2-9.
Just 11 games in and everyone was already looking forward to football season, writing off the Twins as last-place variety once again.
They slowly turned things around, though, and went on a little 15 game winning streak in June.
I still think the Twins can be the best team in the division, although I have to admit Cleveland appears to be an extremely well-rounded team, not the rough-around the edges type of club I expected to see. Jim Thome is off to a blazing start (though the Sox aren't) and the Tigers look like they are in fact ready to contend.
As bad as the bats have been, the Twins pitching is the real culprit. They have to get it together.
My gut says Rondell White is still gonna hit .300, and the lineup is still gonna score 50-75 more runs than they did last year.
It'd be nice if that would start tonight.

13-4!!!!!!!

Things that did not surprise me in the Twins first two games:
Johan Santana looking fairly crappy.
Brad Radke giving up three runs in the first inning.
Joe Mauer rapping hits to the opposite field.
Jesse Crain giving up a key homerun that cost the Twins a chance to win the opener.
Tony Batista hitting a long homerun.
Things that did surprise me:
Shannon Stewart making like Rickey Henderson in the leadoff spot.
Justin Morneau making the same mistakes at the plate that made him a .239 hitter last year.
Juan Rincon looking great in his first action since last year.
Torii Hunter getting 4 hits and 6 ribs.
Luis Rodriguez going deep oppo!
Francisco Liriano dominating for two innings.
Gardy showing a strong willingness to use his bench.

In summary, the Twins 6-3 loss was a bummer but no shock, considering Johan never pitches well till June and that Roy Halladay owns the Twins.
Their 13-4 win was fun to watch, and at the very least, gives hope that this lineup might not be terrible.
If Shannon Stewart ends up having a big year, that will greatly, greatly improve the Twins chances. It's easy to forget what a huge impact he had on the team in 2003, when he was a .320 hitter.
I'm really encouraged that Gardy has used his bench early and often, and the fact that Torii's hits on Wednesday were to center and right field is a very good sign. At age 30, he could be primed for a career year.
Tonight the Jays will send Ted Lilly, a lefty, to the mound, so expect Michael Cuddyer to get his first start, and possibly Mike Redmond as well.
The 13-4 win doesn't mean much more than the 6-3 loss, but it still made me happy for one night.

Oh yeah, there's five other divisions

The nice thing about the AL Central is that it's far away from the steroid controversy.
I feel bad for Giants fans that just want to watch their team play.
I wish they'd drop the whole investigation. If you didn't want guys taking the juice you should've had a policy for it.
There's testing now, so as long as Bonds or anyone else doesn't get caught from here on out - why bother? It's over and done with.
As for those other five divisions, I don't really give a shit about them, but I'll take a run at 'em anyway.
AL East
1. Yankees
2. Red Sox
3. Orioles
4. Blue Jays
5. D-Rays
The Yanks are ancient, but their lineup is loaded, and their pitching might not be as bad as people think. If Curt Schilling can stay healthy, the Red Sox will be right there. With Coco Crisp in CF they won't really miss Johnny Damon. Baltimore is one of my surprise picks. With Leo Mazzone taking over as pitching coach, their young arms could get on track. Watch Daniel Cabrera - he could be a righthanded Johan Santana. Everyone's talking about Toronto but I don't see it. A spending spree doesn't make you a contender overnight.
Tampa will be better, maybe even a lot better. Unfortunately in this division it doesn't matter.
AL West
1. Angels
2. A's
3. Mariners
4. Rangers
Who cares about this division, really. Who stays up late enough to ever watch them?
NL East
1. Braves
2. Mets
3. Phillies
4. Nationals
5. Marlins
The Mets might be a surprise, so might the Phillies. The Marlins will lose at least 110 games. They are an honest to god AAA team.
NL Central
1. Cardinals
2. Brewers
3. Astros
4. Pirates
5. Cubs
6. Reds
Cards are the best team in the league. Nice to see the Brewers finally decent again - they could make a run.
The Cubs (have I ever mentioned how much I hate the Cubs) will suck.
Give them credit, though. Sucking is their job and they're good at it.
Seriously, though, why do people always get excited about the Cubs. Wood and Prior are on the DL again. Again. I would't trade Kyle Lohse and Boof Bonser for those two.
NL West
1. Giants
2. Dodgers
3. Padres
4. D-Backs
5. Rockies
Terrible division. Padres won it last year at 82-80. If Bonds can play 120 games and Jason Schmidt gets his Schmidt together the Giants will take it.
AL MVP - Alex Rodriguez
AL CY - Johan Santana
AL ROY - Ken Jojhima, SEA
NL MVP - Albert Pujols
NL CY - Jason Schmidt
NL ROY - Ryan Zimmerman, WAS

Minnesota Twins 2006 Season Preview

As recently as a month ago, I was convinced that for the first time since 2001 I would pick someone other than the Twins to win the AL Central.
Last year my gut told me that the Twins had too many new and young players, but everyone else in the world was picking them to go the World Series, so I got suckered in.
This year I thought all winter that the White Sox would return as the best team in baseball.
But as spring training has wore on, I just don't have a good feeling about them.
This year, the Sox are the hunted, not the hunter. The Twins on the other hand, are the underdog. And anyone who's followed this team for a lengthy period knows that if there's a role they respond well to, it's that of underdog. I think the Twins will come out on top of a highly competitive American League Central division thanks to the best pitching in the league and an improved offensive attack and improved defense.
This is what I don't get about those who dismiss the Twins as a second division club: They weren't bad last year. They went 83-79. There are a lot of teams that would consider an 83 win season a wild success.
Their pitching, which was great last year, will be even better. Joe Mays is gone, Terry Mulholland is gone, JC Romero is gone. Scott Baker and Francisco Liriano are in, and Brad Radke and Carlos Silva are healthy.
Meaning all they have to do to improve on their 83 wins is add some offense. Not a ton. Just a little.
And I just don't see how even the most pessimistic person could look at the lineup and not think it will be much better this year. Not just because of Rondell White and Luis Castillo.
Think about it.
Do you really think Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau won't have breakout type seasons this year?
Do you think Torii Hunter won't have 25 homers and 25 steals if he doesn't break his ankle again?
Do you really think a RF platoon of Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel won't improve on Jacque Jones' .249 average and 23 homers?
Before we get to that, here is a look at the team's opening day 25-man roster:
Starting Lineup:
LF Shannon Stewart
Spring training avg: .261
It's a make or break year (and a contract year) for Stewart. Considering he's a far inferior fielder to Lew Ford, he has to get his ass on base to keep his job. He was hurt most of last year. I'd be shocked if he didn't improve on last year's .274/.323 OBP numbers.
2B Luis Castillo
Spring avg: .356
A gold glove caliber fielder who will get on base a lot. He won't steal 50 bases ever again, but 25 is possible. A huge improvement over Nick Punto/Luis Rivas/Bret Boone.
C Joe Mauer
Spring avg: .362
Might be the best catcher in the game and he's just getting better.
.320 with 20 homers isn't out of the question.
DH Rondell White
Spring avg: .351
Just stay healthy, baby. White is to this team what Chili Davis was to the '91 team. If DH'ing can keep him off the DL, he'll hit .300 with 20 homers.
CF Torii Hunter
Spring avg: .280
Still something of an underachiever at the plate, but he's a consistent producer. As long as he's healthy, and before last year's freak injury he always has been, he'll hit .270 with 25 homers and 25 steals while playing CF as well as anyone in the world. He's also the leader of the clubhouse, something this team needs after last year.
1B Justin Morneau
Spring avg: .375
Might be the most important player in the lineup. There seems to be less pressure on him this year from the fans and media, and with Torii Hunter, Rondell White and Tony Batista surrounding him in the lineup, he doesn't have to feel like the only guy capable of driving in runs. I'm predicting 34 homeruns this season.
RF Michael Cuddyer
Spring avg: .500
He slugged .844 in 32 spring training AB's. That's why he's got the job. But this is it. With Jason Kubel ready to go, this has to be Cuddy's last chance to win a job. There's an outside chance he could hit .280 with 20 homers.
3B Tony Batista
Spring avg: .224
He hit a team-high 4 homers, otherwise his spring performance was unimpressive. He makes me nervous, but he does have power, which at the very least could change the way pitchers approach the guys hitting in front of him.
He will hit at least 30 homers if he stays in the lineup, I just worry that he won't be good enough to do so.
SS Juan Castro
Spring avg: .176
The Twins must be pretty confident in hitters 1-7, because the bottom two are out-making machines. However Castro, who earned the nod when Jason Bartlett was sent to the minors, is excellent with the glove, and the dirty little secret from last year was that the Twins fielding was as bad as it's been since I've been alive.
Bench
OF Lew Ford
An excellent fielder at all 3 spots. Can steal a base, has decent power and can draw a walk. If Shannon Stewart proves to be finished, the Twins could still compete with him in LF.
OF Jason Kubel
Another wild card. Has .300-20 homer potential. If he plays well enough out of the shoot, Ruben Sierra (currently on the DL) might never play a game as a Twin.
IF Nick Punto
Hated, hated, hated him as a starter. As a utility guy he has some upside. He can run, has a little power, is a switch hitter and can play pretty much any position but C-1B.
IF Luis Rodriguez
I really hope he stays on this team. Can play all 4 IF spots, and could probly fill in an OF corner spot if he had to. And he actually has a clue what to do with that wooden stick in his hands. Also a switch-hitter, he had a .338 OBP last year, which is pretty high going by utility IF standards.
C Mike Redmond
One of the best backup catchers in baseball. Gets it done behind the plate, is a terrific clubhouse guy, and hit .311 last year.
Starting Rotation:
LH Johan Santana
The best starter in the game. Period. It would be nice to see him pitch well in April for once, though, especially since the Twins have a difficult early schedule.
RH Brad Radke
Still underrated. Also a slow starter, but maybe the best big-game pitcher the team has had in my lifetime. When you really, really need a quality start, Radke delivers.
RH Carlos Silva
Pitched through an injury last year and still ranked 5th in AL ERA. This year he's healthy. He has the best control in the game, and is also perhaps the game's most economical pitcher. For a No. 3 you can't do better.
RH Kyle Lohse
Went 5-0 with a 2.42 ERA this spring. I'm not expecting him to win the Cy Young or anything, but Twins fans who've hated the guy (you know who you are) should keep an open mind. He may prove to be the best 4th starter in the league.
RH Scott Baker
Very impressive last year, posting a 3.35 ERA in 10 starts. That would've been 5th in the league if he qualified. And he's our fifth starter.
Bullpen
RH Matt Guerrier
An excellent 3.39 ERA last year, but much of it was mop-up duty. I'm pretty confident he'll be fine, and if he's not, there are plenty of options ready to replace him.
LH Francisco Liriano
One of the top two pitching prospects in the game, and I like the fact that they're working him in through the bullpen. Everyone compares him to Santana, and he seemed to benefit from the transition pretty well.
RH Willie Eyre
Has been very reliable in AAA, and at 27, he's ready. He should be fine as a mop-up guy.
RH Jessie Crain
Has been great since getting called up two years ago, but his very low strikeout numbers - he had just 25 K's in 80 innings last year - scare me. Still, he gets it done, and is equally tough against lefties and righties.
RH Juan Rincon
One of the top set-up guys in baseball. With nasty, nasty stuff, he's racked up 200 K's out of the bullpen over the last two years. He could easily be a top-flight closer, and I'd bet he could be a 15-game winner as a starter, too.
RH Joe Nathan
He's the equivalent of Santana in the bullpen, a five-star guy. Usually has one week-long slump where he struggles with command, otherwise his 97-mph fastball and 91-mph slider make him impossible to hit.
Breaking it down
The Twins pitching is gonna be great and the offense will, I think, do the job. Defensively they'll also be better. If you believe in being strong up the middle (I do), you can't do much better than Mauer, Castro-Castillo and Hunter.
Everyone who dismisses the Twins does so because they're not impressed by Tony Batista, Rondell White and Luis Castillo.
They're missing the point.
This team is going to be better because of a healthy Torii Hunter and the emergence of Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau and Jason Kubel. Anything the three newcomers add (which I'm guessing will be substantial) is an added bonus.
They also have a nice bench, with Ford and Kubel giving them two good bats.
The Good: Excellent and deep rotation, loaded bullpen, very strong up the middle defensively. Best offensive players are still in the early stages of their careers.
The Bad: Two sub-.300 OBP guys at the bottom of the order, many of the starters could wash out as easily as they could shine.
Best-case scenario: Mauer and Morneau become two of the game's brightest stars, while White, Hunter and Batista each hit 25+ homers. Castro and Castillo are Gold Glove caliber up the middle, while Cuddyer and Kubel combine to far surpass Jacque Jones' production in right.
All five starters finish with an ERA under 4, and the bullpen is baseball's best. Twins win the pennant.
Worst-case scenario: Morneau proves that he's the next Randy Bush, not Kent Hrbek, Hunter, White and Castillo all battle injuries, while Batista is so bad the team turns to Terry Tiffee to play 3rd by June 1st. In a carbon copy of last year, punchless team finishes around .500
Minnesota Twins
Manager: Ron Gardenhire
Offense: B-
Defense: B
Starting Pitching: A
Bullpen: A-
Bench: B
Predicition: 91-71 AL Central Champs

AL Central Preview - The Sox

Does it matter that the White Sox are 7-19 in spring training?
That's a .269 winning percentage - not exactly setting the tone for a title defense.
Nearly every baseball publication I've come across has picked the Sox to get back to the World Series - and why not?
The Red Sox and Yankees are ancient with crappy pitching, while Chicago added Jim Thome and Javier Vazquez.
(The fact that they lost their excellent CF and have no bullpen, while the Twins and Tigers both look significantly improved apparently has gone unnoticed.)
But a close look at the Sox suggests that they won't be able to just cruise to the title.
The AL Central will be strong 1-4, and if they don't catch seemingly every break like they did a year ago, the Sox might struggle to repeat.
Probable Starting Lineup:
LF Scott Podsednik
2B Tadahito Iguchi
DH Jim Thome
1B Paul Konerko
RF Jermaine Dye
3B Joe Crede
C AJ Pierzynski
SS Juan Uribe
CF Brian Anderson
Starting Rotation:
LH Mark Buehrle
RH Freddy Garcia
RH Jose Contreras
RH Jon Garland
RH Javier Vazquez
Closer: Bobby Jenks
It would be fair to say, as many have, that the White Sox simply have the fewest amount of questions entering the season, which is a perfectly sound reason for favoring them.
On the other hand, this is a team for which nearly everything went right last year - and I have a hunch it won't go that way this time around.
And when it doesn't, how will the players respond to Ozzie Guillen's antics?
He's already called his closer, the unproven Bobby Jenks, a "fatass." (hey, at least he tells the truth) and he has a bad tendency to speak first without thinking of how his words might be perceived.
Personally, I thought the moment the Sox hired Guillen that he'd be a perfect fit. The Sox were a talented team that simply needed a kick in the ass - a manager to challenge them, rather than tell them how much better they were than the Twins like Jerry Manuel did. But now that he got them to win I wonder how he'll motivate them as favorites, rather than underdogs.
There are a few questions with this team, starting in CF, where rookie Brian Anderson replaces the vastly underrated Aaron Rowand. And who's the closer? The 290-pound Jenks, who had a great postseason but had done nothing in the bigs before that? With Dustin Hermanson injured and Damaso Marte and Luis Vizcaino gone, the Sox are seriously thin in the pen.
Last year perennial underachiever Jon Garland went 18-10 with a 3.50 ERA. Do you think he'll do that again? I don't.
I also have my doubts about 52-year old Cuban Jose Contreras, while Javier Vazquez, the 5th starter, is way overrated. Buehrle and Garcia are, however, as good as it gets 1-2.
Offensively, Jim Thome and Paul Konerko could be deadly in the 3-4 spots. I don't think Thome is the same player he was five years ago, but I don't think he's finished, either.
2B Tadahito Iguchi was the most underrated acquistion in all of baseball last year, helping to shore up what was once a terrible infield. However, Iguchi has been awful this spring, hitting below .150. It's possible that ML pitchers have adjusted to him.
LF Scott Podsednik is also battling injuries. He's another guy who could see a drop off in production in his second year in the AL.
C AJ Pierzynski is a lot like Ozzie. When you're winning everyone thinks he's funny and makes the clubhouse a better place. If things go bad, he's often made a scapegoat for problems. We'll see how things play out with him as well. Rob Mackowiak gives them a strong bench player.
The Good: Deep and balanced lineup, 5 starters capable of throwing 200 innings, defense has no gold glovers but no liabilities.
The Bad: Brian Anderson has very big shoes to fill in CF, bullpen could be the worst in the division if Jenks doesn't get it together.
Best-case scenario: Thome hits 40 homers in front of Konerko; Iguchi and Podsednik ignite the top of the order; Anderson has a rookie of the year type season replacing Rowand; Jenks saves 40; Garland and Contreras do it again; Vazquez settles in as the 5th starter. Sox go back to the series.
Worst-case scenario: A couple bad breaks early, combined with the strong play of the rest of the division, cause the Sox to press. Guillen's loud-mouth act wears thin, Thome goes on DL, Iguchi and Podsednik fall off some, Anderson goes back to AAA, bullpen is a disaster and bottom half of rotation bombs. Sox barely manage .500.
Chicago White Sox
Manager: Ozzie Guillen
Offense: A-
Defense: B
Starting Pitching: A-
Bullpen: C-
Bench: B
Prediction: 88-74 2nd in AL Central

Spring Training Notes

With opening day a week away, the Twins find themselves with several unresolved questions.
None of them are major, but they're enough to make a guy a little nervous.
Firstly, the leading candidates to win the two open jobs in the starting lineup both appear in danger of starting the year on the DL.
Michael Cuddyer, whose .500 avg this spring made him the runaway winner for the RF job, has a strained muscle that could mean Lew Ford will open the year in right.
One good thing that could come of it, though, is Jason Kubel making the team. If he plays well he could maybe be the everday guy by midseason, and let's face it, that's what we all want.
SS Jason Bartlett may also start the year on the DL, which would leave the job to Lil' Nicky Punto and Juan Castro - a somewhat dire situation.
At the very least Castro will be outstanding in the field, and to be honest, even if Bartlett was healthy there really hasn't been any reason to think he's going to be any better than Pat Meares ever was.
PH Ruben Sierra will not be ready for opening day, probably opening a spot for Luis Rodriguez or perhaps Terry Tiffee or Jason Tyner.
*In other news it looks like the two open bullpen spots are going to go to lefties Francisco Liriano (yes!) and Dennys Reyes.
Reyes will be the face-one-lefty guy, while Liriano (pictured) will be a second long man to go with Matt Guerrier.
Assuming Liriano does indeed make the team, it'll be the best thing to happen this spring. The Twins pen needs another power arm, and regardless of how they end up using him, he just gives them added depth.
*Tony Batista is batting .222 with a .255 OBP. I've tried to keep an open mind about Batista, but he's gonna have to hit 40 homers to tolerate a .255 OBP. His fielding has been okay and he can still get in better shape, but I wonder how much rope the Twins are gonna give him.
Guys like Jeff Cirillo, Tony Graffanino, Russ Branyan and others could probably be had fairly cheap.
*Kyle Lohse is 4-0 with a 2.15 ERA this spring. Ignore that 9-13 record he had last year - Lohse could be on the verge of becoming a major factor in the rotation. I know we've been hearing that for years, but he's coming off a season in which he lowered his ERA over a full run. He'd be a No.1 or No.2 on several teams.

AL Central Preview - Detroit Tigers

While I've maintained all spring that the Twins are getting overlooked and will be dangerous, the same could be said of the Motor City Kitties.
When I read what some are saying about this team, all I can think is, "Have you looked at their roster?"
They have an emerging pitching staff, the most underrated keystone combo in the sport, a nice bench, and a manager I think will have a positive effect on them.
Probable Starting Lineup:
CF Curtis Granderson
2B Placido Polanco
1B Chris Shelton
RF Magglio Ordonez
C Ivan Rodriguez
SS Carlos Guillen
DH Dmitri Young
LF Craig Monroe
3B Brandon Inge
Starting Rotation:
RH Jeremy Bonderman
LH Kenny Rogers
LH Mike Maroth
LH Nate Robertson
RH Justin Verlander
Closer: Todd Jones
There may not be two players in the AL as underrated as Polanco and Guillen. I just love these guys. Both are on-base machines with good power for a middle infielder, and both are excellent in the field.
I-Rod's career is on the downside, but he's still one of the top 10 catchers in the league, if not top 5.
Chris Shelton started last year in the minors and ended it hitting .299 with 18 homers in the bigs. Dmitri Young (.271, 21 HR), Craig Monroe (.277, 20 HR) and Brandon Inge (.261, 16 HR) make pretty good 7-8-9 hitters.
If I thought Magglio would play more than 100 games (I don't) I'd really like this team.
They could do better than Granderson in CF - I think I'd hit Guillen leadoff and Granderson 9th.
The bench has speed (Nook Logan is the fastest player in the game), power (Carlos Pena hit 18 HRs in 260 ABs last year) and defense (utility man Omar Infante, OF Marcus Thames and C Vance Wilson are all good with the leather).
On the mound, Bonderman is a stud, and the Gambler will have at least one more good year if he can leave the Detroit cameramen alone. A big key will be Maroth and Robertson pitching like 3rd starters, not 5th starters. And speaking of 5th starters, top prospect Justin Verlander gets the first crack. He's probably not ready just yet, but if he gives them anything it would be a nice boost.
The bullpen is questionable, but has lots of live arms.
Todd Jones was out of baseball a couple years ago; last year he had 40 saves and a 2.10 ERA. I doubt he'll duplicate that, but he'll be solid. Fireballers Franklyn German and Fernando Rodney need to get it together in middle relief, and if they do, they could combine with lefty Jamie Walker and righties Chris Spurling and 21-year old Joel Zumaya to do a decent job.
The Good: Very deep lineup, excellent defense, outstanding 1-2 starters, good bench.
The Bad: Several regulars have history of injuries, bullpen is unproven, 3-5 starters could be no better than average. Manager Jim Leyland has been out of baseball for almost a decade.
Best Case Scenario: Ordonez stays healthy and puts up MVP numbers, Shelton takes another step forward, I-Rod shows he's got plenty left in the tank, Maroth and Robertson have their best season, bullpen emerges and the Tigers win 90 games, competing for a playoff spot.
Worst Case Scenario: Ordonez, Young and Guillen spend significant time on DL, Rogers and I-Rod fade, back end of rotation fails, bullpen fails, Shelton has sophomore slump, Leyland is out of his element and the Tigers lose 90 games.
Detroit Tigers
Manager: Jim Leyland
Offense: B+
Defense: B
Starting Pitching: B-
Bullpen: C
Bench: B+
Predicition: 84-78 3rd in AL Central

AL Central Preview - Cleveland Indians

The Royals are so bad, that I'll admit I kind of half-assed their preview.
Now that we're moving into teams that actually have a shot to contend, I'm gettin serious. As serious as the 300-pound, fat-ass, Twins-hating lefty seen at right.
The Indians have probably the best collection of young talent in the division. Most of their best players have yet to reach their full potential.
They finished last year on fire, narrowly missing the playoffs at 93-69, so of course, they're a hip pick in the AL.
I don't see it. In fact, I think they're maybe the most overrated team in the league, and I expect them to drop off some from last year.
They've lost their No. 1 starter, their centerfielder and leadoff hitter, their fifth starter and two key relievers. The shakiest parts of their team; third base, right field and closer, all got a year older.
If the core of this team takes another step forward those things may not matter, but I'm predicting that the Indians will disappoint.
Probable Starting Lineup:
CF Grady Sizemore
SS Jhonny Peralta
C Victor Martinez
DH Travis Hafner
LF Jason Michaels/Todd Hollandsworth
1B Ben Broussard/Eduardo Perez
2B Ronnie Belliard
RF Casey Blake
3B Aaron Boone
Starting Rotation:
LH CC Sabathia
RH Paul Byrd
LH Cliff Lee
RH Jake Westbrook
RH Jason Johnson
Closer: Bob Wickman
The trade of Coco Crisp to the Red Sox for 3B prospect Andy Marte was a good one for the Tribe, but not short term. Crisp is a very underrated player who they'll miss at the top of the order. Meanwhile the bottom of their order has the potential to be terrible, as Broussard, Blake and Boone are more likely to fall further in decline than to step up. Jason Michaels could turn out to be a find in LF, but he could also end up being just a guy.
Make no mistake, though, Sizemore, Martinez, Hafner and Peralta are all offensive studs. Sizemore has a shot to be the next Griffey Jr.
The starting pitching will be pretty good even with the loss of Kevin Milwood, but the bullpen could be a weakness.
If Danny Graves can get back the magic that made him an All-Star in Cincinnatti that would help a lot, because I don't expect Bob Wickman to be as good as he was last year. He's way too hittable.
The Good: Terrific top half of the order, deep starting rotation.
The Bad: Bullpen is full of questions, corner infield and outfield spots are below par, Peralta is a below average fielder at SS.
Best Case Scenario: The core of the Indian lineup continues to blossom, with Sizemore, Martinez and Hafner all putting up MVP numbers. Michaels siezes his chance to be an everyday player, while Boone, Broussard and Blake re-establish themselves. Bullpen comes together and Wickman has another 40-save season. Indians win the pennant.
Worst Case Scenario: Young players experience a small hiccup in their development, Boone, Wickman and Blake fade badly, Michales fails as a regular, starting pitching is inconsistent. Similar to last year's Twins, they fall back near .500.
Cleveland Indians
Manager: Eric Wedge
Offense: B+
Defense: C
Starting Pitching: B
Bullpen: C-
Bench: B
Prediction: 81-81 4th in AL Central

Hutchinson a Viking

The Vikings landed arguably the top free-agent on the market when the Seahawks decided not to match their offer to All Pro guard Steve Hutchinson.
The Michigan grad becomes the highest paid guard in league history, and gives the Viking line a huge boost.
If Matt Birk returns 100%, the Vikings will essentially be adding perhaps the best center and best guard in the league to their line.
There is no more important part of a football team than the O-line, and thankfully, Hamsterface seems to know this.
The Vikings are looking to add fullback Tony Richardson as well.
With Chester Taylor running behind a ProBowl fullback and a top notch O-line, Brad Johnson becomes about a 10 times better QB.
This is a big day for the Minnesota Vikings.

AL Central Preview: the KC Royals

I'll get to the Royals preview in a sec.
Been gone for a week due to March Madness.
No, not the big dance everyone loses money on while some ditsy secretary wins the pot.
No, in my world March Madness unfortunately means state high school basketball tournaments.
You know high school basketball, it's that thing we all stop caring about when we turn 19 (If we ever cared to begin with). Yet I get to spend five days in Aberdeen writing about it.
But speaking of real March Madness - I really suck at these pools. Not only have I never won, I've never even come close. This year I thought I'd have a shot if I picked almost no upsets. But of course there's been a billion already. I'm probably already out.
*As much as I'm ready to move on about Daunte Culpepper, I thought I'd mention this nugget from a Sid Hartman column.
Now I know a 2nd round pick is pretty underwhelming for a supposed franchise QB, but if you still think the Vikings were wrong to get rid of this punk after reading the following, then your name is probably Drew Rosenhaus.
"Right from the beginning, I never had a conversation with him about this football team. It was always about what he needed financially and money. I never heard team, I always heard me and I and 'I need 10 million dollars. I'm a 10 million-dollar-a-year quarterback.' - Brad Childress, Vikings coach.
I've ripped on hamster face for his fraternity style of hiring assistants, but I have to say I'm warming to him. I like a guy that won't put up with bullshit, a guy that will call a players bluff and say, "Fuck you, I'll win without you."
Later in the same story Childress goes on to question whether Daunte will be able to continue his success, basically saying that his injury will affect his mobility and turn him into a pocket passer. I'm glad he's gone, I just hope we find the heir apparent soon.
*OK, back to baseball.
Opening day is fast-approaching, so today I begin the preview of the American League Central Division with the one team that everyone knows will stink, the Kansas City Royals.
A couple years ago the Royals went a fluke 83-79 and competed for the division. If they were smart they would've known it was a fluke and continued to build for the future. But they went for it, proved to be a fluke, and set themselves back again. (In fairness, they didnt' have much of a choice. You can't exactly not try to win a pennant and expect fans to stick with you.)
Last year the Royals posted the worst record in franchise history (56-106), and surpassed 100 losses for the third time in four years. (For an idea of how bad that is, the Twins, bad as they were from '93 to 2000, never lost more than 97 during that stretch.)
This year they've added a bunch of veterans on the down side of their careers. It won't make them competitive, but it's not as terrible an idea as it sounds, because there are so few decent prospects for the veterans to take playing time from.
The Royals added pitchers Scott Elarton, Joe Mays, Mark Redman and Elmer Dessens, catcher Paul Bako, infielders Doug Mientkiewicz and Mark Grudzielanek (jeez they should call it the scrabble infield) and outfielder Reggie Sanders.
The best of the Royals holdovers include 1B Mike Sweeney, CF David DeJesus, OF Emil Brown, and DH/OF Matt Stairs.
3B Mark Tehan and C John Buck are the Royals version of Mauer and Morneau, but so far they've been very disappointing. Alex Gordon is the best prospect in the organization, and he might get called up this year. He's probably not ready, but they have nothing else.
Zack Greinke and Runelvys Hernandez both have potential as starters, but they were both really bad last year.
If there is any strength to this club, it's the bullpen. Mike McDougal came back nicely last year after washing out, and 6-10 lefty Andrew Sisco and fireballing righty Ambiorix Burgos look legit. Jeremy Affeldt is a talented lefty who'd look great in a Twins uniform. The Royals will probably trade him, but not likely to the Twins.
The Good: Mientkiewicz and Grudzielanek improve the defense, while Sanders is a nice addition with the bat. Sweeney, Stairs and Brown can all hit. Their pitching will be better, but still below par.
The Bad: Mienkiewicz can't hit, Sweeney will surely go on the DL again, and the pitching has way too many question marks. Plus, every other team in the AL Central looks solid this year.
Worse, the best players on this team are all old guys who won't be around for more than a year or two. Most of their young talent are C to B- prospects.
Best case scenario: Everyone stays healthy, Teahan and Buck develop, Greinke becomes the next Brad Radke, Mays thrives on the natural grass surface, the new additions all contribute and Gordon shows signs of being a future stud in a late season call up. If all that happened they'd still struggle to win 75 games.
Worst case scenario: Sweeney and Stairs get hurt, Teahan, Buck, DeJesus and Greinke regress, the veteran additions all prove to be finished. Another 100 loss season would be a certainty.
KC Royals
Manager: Buddy Bell
Offense: C
Defense: B
Starting Pitching: D
Bullpen: C
Bench: D
Prediction: 67-95 5th in AL Central.

Good Riddance

Daunte Culpepper is a Miami Dolphin.
The Vikings acquire a 2nd round draft choice for the Big Failure.
He has to pass a physical to complete the deal. I hope he passes.
No, it doesn't mean the Vikes can now go after Drew Brees, he signed with the Saints.
I guess that does mean Aaron Brooks is available.

Who are these frickin guys?!?

If you've been watching any of the Twins spring games so far (I've yet to miss one), you've undoubtedly seen a few names that are unfamiliar. Not uncommon, of course, for spring training.
The Twins don't have too many spots available on their big league roster, but there are several players who they're looking at to see if A) they might one day be ready, and
B) how soon that might be
Here are some names to know. Though I should point out this list is limited to prospects who are in the big league camp. There are lots of other potential studs who are still several years away.

Blue-chippers
*Denard Span - OF (pictured above right)
Think Jacque Jones with more speed and less power.
A former 1st round pick, Span began last year in A ball and hit .339 with 13 steals, prompting a call up to AA, where he hit .285 with 10 steals. It looks like the Twins are trying to decide if he's ready for AAA. He just turned 22, and if Torii Hunter ends up getting traded in the next year or two, this guy is his replacement.
*Alex Romero - OF
Once considered a marginal prospect, Romero, 22, broke through in AA last year, hitting .301 with 15 HR and 12 SB. Being that he developed so suddenly, the 6', 190 pounder possibly still hasn't tapped his full potential. He's by no means a can't miss prospect, but he has a shot to be a five-tool stud.
*Matt Garza, Glen Perkins - P
Both are 22, and both at least a year away. But they were both high draft picks and they've both impressed the coaching staff this spring. They could both be in the bigs next year. Garza is a righty, Perkins a lefty.
*Justin Jones - P
The guy from the Doug Mientkiewicz trade, Jones was 7-3, 3.01 at A ball last year. He's still only 21, and if he stays healthy could be a very good big league pitcher.

At the Ready
*Boof Bonser - P
The third guy in the AJ-Joe Nathan trade, Bonser was the AAA staff ace last year and led the league in K's. He's probably ready for the big leagues, the Twins just don't need him. He's probably a 3rd or 4th starter at best, but he could probably help the Twins out of the pen, especially if Juan Rincon's elbow doesn't get better soon.
*Dave Gassner - P
Soft tossing lefty is 27, but looked good in winning his ML debut with the Twins early last year. He's a good guy to have in AAA. Probably won't ever be a 15-game winner in the big leagues, but is always available to fill in if someone goes down.
*Darrel May, Denny Reyes - P
One of these two veteran lefties will make the team. Reyes throws hard but is wild, and he's had success against lefties as a reliever before (righties are another story.)
May is a soft-tosser and a former starter. Much like Greg Swindell a decade earlier, May's career as a starter has washed out, so he's trying to reinvent himself. Swindell rejuvenated his career making the move, and May, who has excellent control, might be able to as well.
*Willie Eyre - P
27-year old righty is a favorite to land a spot in Twins bullpen this year. He was 10-2 with a 2.71 ERA in AAA last year, so he's due for a shot. Could be the next Tony Fiore.
*Glenn Williams - 3B
This guy might be the Twins starting 3B this year if he hadn't seperated his shoulder last year. You may remember him hitting .425 after getting called-up, before the injury ended his season. That was his one big chance. Now he'll likely go back to AAA.
*Terry Tiffee - 3B/1B
Promising in '04, terrible last year. Looks like a pinch-hitter at best. I hope he doesn't make the team.
*Luis Rodriguez - IF
Spent most of last year in the bigs and I thought he was pretty good. He batted .269/.335/.383 in 175 ABs, far better than Castro and Punto. I'd love to have him beat out one of those two for a job, but since he's still young and has options, he'll probably start the year in AAA. He'll be back, though, and I think he could be a great utility player.
*Garrett Jones - 1B
If something disastrous would happen to Justin Morneau, Jones would be his likely substitute.
He's hit 54 homers over the past two seasons at AAA, but was just .244/.297 OBP last year. He could hit for power in the big leagues, but would probably struggle to hit .200. He's a career minor leaguer. Would probably be good in the Northern League.
*Chris Heintz, Rob Bowen, Shawn Wooten - C
None of these guys will ever amount to more than Tom Prince status, but they're good to have around. All three are capable back stops, while Wooten and Heintz (both veterans) have decent pop with the bat.
*Jason Tyner - OF
A speedy LH hitter with no power, Tyner, 29, probably belongs in the big leagues. He fared well in a call up last September, and has looked good this spring. If the Twins had an injury to their OF, Tyner is a better option than most teams have in AAA.
*Andres Torres - OF
Similar to Tyner but not as polished, Torres has ML experience and could help out in a pinch, but he'll be a career minor leaguer.
*Luis Maza, Tommy Watkins - IF, Josh Rabe - OF
I'd be surprised if any of these guys ever reach the Twins. They're not bad players, but they're not big leaguers. They help fill out a AAA roster.

Mid level prospects
*Jason Pridie - OF
A former top prospect of the D-Rays, Pridie would be a great addition to the Twins AAA roster, but unfortunately he's a Rule V pick, which means the Twins have to keep him in the ML all year or lose him - the same way they got Johan Santana.
Pridie has shown promise, but he's got about a 2% chance of making the team.
*JD Durbin - P
If you saw him pitch against the Reds Monday night, you saw how horrible he is. As recently as two years ago the "Real Deal" as he called himself, was arguably the top pitching prospect in the organization. But a total lack of command, maturity and possibly intelligence has him falling fast.
*Errol Simonitsch - P
A 6-foot-4, 23 yr old lefty, Simonitsch dominated A ball last year, then fared decently at AA. He's a little old to still be in AA, but he's got good stuff.
*Adam Harben - P
Similar to Simonitsch but a righty, Harben won 10 games with a 2.69 ERA in A ball last year.
*Jose Mijares - P
A 21-year old lefty with great stuff, Mijares is raw but talented. He might be the guy to eventually take JC Romero's role.

Just happy to be in camp

*Kevin Cameron, Jason Miller, Pat Neshek, Ricky Barrett - P
These guys have all put up solid numbers in the minors, but that's where they'll stay. They're either too old or simply don't have the tools that scouts want, regardless of how well they pitch in the minors.

Ugly Athlete No. 5 - Daunte Culpepper

Okay, maybe he's not really that ugly.
I just want to kick him in the balls these days.
Sounds like the Vikes are gonna trade him to Oakland for a 2nd round pick or something.
Good luck, Raiders.
But honestly, if I was the Vikes, I'd keep him, bench him, and refuse to renegotiate.
Make him rot on the bench for the next four years.

Daunte Culpepper
Prima Donna Football Player
Wussiness: 10
Cowardice: 10
Leadership: 0
Class: 0
Dependability: 0
Identifying Characteristic: Chokes whenever he is needed, blames others when something goes wrong, got busted at the love-boat party because he's married to a hippopotamus.
Looks Like: Failure.

So Long, Kirby

I think the best way to sum up Kirby Puckett, what he meant to me and so many others, is to let the man speak for himself.
The following is an excerpt from his Hall of Fame acceptance speech - by far the best I've ever heard, and one that left me in tears.

"There may be a few people out there who remember a time when the word on Kirby Puckett was that he was too short or didn't have enough power to make it to the big leagues. Well, despite the fact that I didn't get to play all the years that I wanted to, I did it.
To any young person out there: If anyone tells you you can't do what you want to do and be what you want to be, I want you to remember the guiding principles of my life. You can be what you want to be if you believe in yourself and you work hard because anything, and I'm telling you anything, is possible.
It doesn't matter if you're five foot eight like Kirby Puckett, or six foot six like my man Winnie (Dave Winfield). You can do it. And don't feel sorry for yourself if obstacles get in your way. Our great Twins World Series teams faced great odds and we beat them. Jackie Robinson faced odds and made this game truly the national game.
I faced odds when glaucoma took the bat out of my hands, but I didn't give in or feel sorry for myself. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It may be cloudy in my right eye, but the sun is shining very brightly in my left eye."

As the Twins played in the 1987 and 1991 World Series, the idea that the Twins could lose never even occured to me. I thought it was a fairy tale, and fairy tales always have happy endings, because they have heroes like Kirby Puckett.
When the Twins returned to the playoffs in 2002, I didn't have the unwavering confidence I had had as a youngster.
Maybe it was because I was 22 years old, old enough to realize that the Twins very well could lose, just like they could have lost back in 1987 and 1991.

Or maybe it was because Kirby Puckett wasn't in that Minnesota clubhouse, encouraging his teammates to jump on his back.
If he had been, maybe it would've gone back to being a fairy tale, just like it was back when I was a kid. Maybe I never would've dreamed that the Twins could lose, and maybe they would've won another championship.
Because with Kirby, fairy tales were real - something he proved every day he was in the big leagues.
He was Superman, Hercules, Santa Claus and Peter Pan rolled into one.
He was my hero.

Hang in There, Puck

I'm not going to try and say something overly profound or dramatic about Kirby Puckett as he fights for his life after suffering a stroke early Sunday morning. I'm just hoping he makes it.
Few, check that zero, celebrity/athletes were as significant to my adolescence than Kirby Puckett, a guy who could make a groundout to short entertaining.
As great as he was, though, it wasn't his .318 average or even his Game 6 performance in the '91 series that I think of first when I hear his name.
It was his smile, his bald head, his beer belly, his short, choppy, Babe Ruth-like steps as he burned around the bases. All the things that made him a real-life superhero.
Kirby's off-field problems in retirement have done little to sour my memories of him. His nice-guy persona may have been phony, but the way he played the game and inspired millions was very real.

TWINS ON TV TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

The Twins open their official exhibition schedule tonight in Fort Meyers, taking on the Boston Red Sox.
The game will be televised on FSN at 6 pm central.

Early Spring Roundup and Bloody Thursday

In what will hopefully be a sign of things to come, the World Series champion - and consensus favorite to repeat - Chicago White Sox lost the first spring training game of 2006 Wednesday, falling to the Colorado Rockies 6-0. The Detroit Tigers also edged Florida Southern University 4-3. The Twins played Concordia-St. Paul, but no score has been reported yet. Concordia, a Division 3 school, beat the Twins last spring.
Seriously.
*In other spring news, former Twins 3-hitter Bret Boone finally and mercifully announced his retirement Wednesday.
Boone was in camp with the Mets trying one last comeback, but admitted his confidence was so shaken that it wasn't worth waiting for games to start.
It's hard to remember the last time a player fell farther faster than Boone, who just a couple years ago was one of the game's most dangerous right-handed hitters.
*MLB's phony money-making scheme, otherwise known as the World Baseball Classic, continues to get pissed on by many of the game's biggest stars, as pitchers CC Sabathia and Billy Wagner both excused themselves from Team USA Wednesday, while Vlad Guerrero ditched the Dominican squad.
Team USA actually named 68-year old Al Leiter to the squad to replace Sabathia.
No word on whether the rumors of Joe Morgan coming in to play two-sack are true.
*As further evidence that this WBC thing is total PR bullshit, Twins CF Torii Hunter, a fellow WBC hater, has conspicuously stopped talking about it. When asked if MLB had told him to keep quiet, Hunter said, 'no comment'. Gee, I wonder what that means.
*The NFL may be headed for a work stoppage. Collective bargaining in pro sports is about as exciting to me as watching Dr. Phil, so I won't bother with the details.
But what is interesting is the effect the current deal is having on free-agency and the salary cap.
A few big names were cut today, and many, many more are expected tomorrow (the deadline for getting under the cap) for what many insiders are already calling "Bloody Thursday".
Don't believe it? Check out this quote: "In past years, you'd see a lot of guys released who maybe still had some name value but who were really in decline in terms of production," said one AFC team executive who was working late Tuesday, trying to figure out how to pare down a prohibitively bloated cap figure. "This year? People are going to be stunned -- not just by the quantity of players who are cut by Thursday but by the quality, too. It's going to be ugly. There's going to be blood in the streets and, compared to past years, it's going to be from some bluebloods, guys who can still play."
The Vikings have already informed Michael Bennett that he'll be cut. Will Daunte get the axe, too? I doubt it.
But there should be a chance for the Vikes, who are over $20 million under the cap, to add a RB.
Stephen Davis and Mike Anderson were both cut Wednesday, we'll see who's available tomorrow.
Both Davis and Anderson are the type of big, bruising, workhorse backs the Vikings desperately need. But Davis is clearly washed up, and Anderson will be 33 next September.
On the other hand, Anderson rushed for over 1,000 yards last year. I'd love to see the Vikes take him, especially if he's cheap.