Jag-Bombs/Car-Bombs

Today I begin another new feature.
The Jag-Bombs (and Car-Bombs).
Based on performance, I will hand out Jag-Bombs to those who are most deserving (played good) and Car-Bombs (played bad...cuz Car-Bombs taste like my ass).
Here are Tuesday night's Jag-Bombs, after the Twins 7-6 win over the A's.
4 Jag-Bombs: Tony Batista - clutch 3-run jack. If he does that with any regularity, I don't give a shit what his OBP is.
4 Jag-Bombs: Joe Mauer - a textbook game at the plate. He's hitting the ball to all fields with authority and running the bases hard. This guy's good.
3 Jag-Bombs: Luis Castillo - another good game at the dish and a few great plays at 2B. This guy might literally be 23 times better than Nick Punto.
2 Jag-Bombs: Joe Nathan - struggled with command somewhat, but he was hitting 98 on the gun, something he never does at this point in the season.
1 Jag-Bomb: Justin Morneau - frozen rope for a dinger - I'm feeling good about his chances to break the 30-HR barrier.
1 Jag-Bomb: Juan Castro - I'm not saying I approve of the decision to demote Jason Bartlett, but there is no way in Hell he makes that play to end the 8th that Castro did.
1 Jag-Bomb: Brad Radke - The second inning was a struggle, and the pitch he threw on Crosby's homer in the third was unforgivable. However he was pretty solid after that.
And now, the Car-Bombs.
3 Car-Bombs: Jesse Crain - Second time already he's come in to a game and served up a 2-run homer. This kid's making me nervous.
2 Car-Bombs: Radke - Come on, dude. When your offense is trying to work out of a slump, you're not helping things by putting them in a 4-0 hole. Knock it off.
1 Car-Bomb: Rondell White - Dude, you're trying waaaay too hard. You're swinging at pitches way out of the zone, and taking pitches right down the middle. Yes, they expect you to have a good year. No, they don't expect you to do everything by yourself.
Chill.