It doesn't help that this guy won a Cy Young Award that he blatantly didn't deserve, getting the nod over Johan Santana for the 2005 award, simply because he had 20 wins. Santana had more innings, strikeouts, complete games, shutouts, lower whip, lower ERA, scored with more chicks, cured more sick children and adopted more stray puppies than Bartolo that year, yet, well, we know how it turned out.
Nobody as far as I can tell, has ever been a fan of Bartolo Colon. He's fat. Out of shape. Ugly. Doesn't appear to enjoy the game. Has been in the league for like 20 years and still doesn't speak English as far as I know. His baseball-reference page is un-sponsored.
He's soooo ugly. There's this horrible gericurl Mexi-fro that always sticks out from under his tiny cap like a neglected Chia pet.
And this pencil-thin grayish, pube-like "mustache" that he refuses to shave. Gross. It's reminiscent of Andre the Giant, not well known for his good looks (but seemingly much more personable, and athletic for that matter).
He's also got a sort of round, cup-like face, and of course a huge gut, creating a resemblance to King Hippo of Mike Tyson's Punchout fame.
Bartolo Colon is nobody's favorite player. Not even his mother's.
He's ugly. Ugly, ugly, ugly.
Bartolo Colon
MLB Baseball Player 1997-present
Ugliness: 10
Creepiness: 8
Identifying Characteristic: Mexi-fro, pube-stache, pot-belly. Sweat.
Looks like: Andre the Giant, King Hippo. A janitor I remember from Cleveland Elementary.
19 comments:
If you can remember that janitors name, I'll buy you a beer.
I'm struggling with it right now, damn it.
my cousin went to cleveland. know any jibben's?
I know one. She's a total baby factory.
Jibben....Is that hispanic, with a silent J, pronounced like an "H"
You wish! Sorry, I guess i'm not the type you want to 'take home to mom'
Of course you are. You're a hard worker, and will work for a lower wage, and you came to America just for the opportunity to better things for your family.
Who the hell are you people?
I don't know, I like where Rex is going with this...
Angela are you hot? Like Jessica Alba or Selina?
What would you say is your favorite produce, lettuce or oranges?
Good question. Looks like we have a few illegals on our hands. I wonder if they're ball players, or concrete finishers.
It would be nice if she was like Jessica Alba, but I'm assuming she's more like Rosie Odonnell. She's probably a big lesbian softball player. Oh well. Angela, can I bum a chew?
One would hope for Jessica Alba, but Rosie O'Donnell is probably more accurate. Speaking of fat lesbian softball players, Bartolo colon's physical build mirrors that of a lesbian softball player.
Now that you mention it, I believe I saw a "woman" who looked like Bartolo playing for China's national softball team. I think she had more facial hair, but the resemblance is uncanning. Next time Colon pitches, I'll check for some camel toe.
It's uncanny, stupid
Can lesbians be baby factories? I guess there's always that one dude from the mama's and the papa's to lean back on.
My bad, Webster.
But, now that I've had time to think, I'm pretty sure I wrote uncanny. Too bad my comment was written yesterday. I guess we'll never know for sure. An unsolved mystery of sorts.
Im reading this at 2 in the morning and this is the funniest shit Ive ever seen in my entire life
I think that what you composed was very logical. But, what about this?
suppose you wrote a catchier post title?
I ain't saying your information isn't solid.
, however what if you added a post title that makes people desire more?
I mean "Ugly Athlete No. 8 - Bartolo Colon" is a little plain.
You might peek at Yahoo's front page and see how they write news headlines to get people to click. You might try adding a video or a related pic or two to get people excited about everything've got to say.
In my opinion, it would bring your website a little livelier.
My web page - noticias primero
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