I was at work, trying to work up the motivation to write a story about Mark Blackburn, a linebacker for the Storm. It wasn't going well. Nothing against Mark, but the Storm are hard to write about considering they've won 29 games in a row.
It gets boring.
So I look up at the TV and see John Lackey on the mound for Anaheim, pitching with a 4-0 lead. Lackey is currently in a battle with CC Sabathia (soon to be joined by Johan Santana) for the AL Cy Young award, so, it's looking like a sweep.
A minute later I look up and it says 4-2. Michael Cuddyer must've hit a homer (he did).
A minute later I look up again and there are two men on for Nick Punto. He works the count full. I get up from my desk and move closer to the TV.
Punto drives the 3-2 pitch for a three-run homer.
This is a minor miracle, considering the circumstances.
But I can understand how it happened.
Lackey thinks to himself, "Okay, this is Nick Punto. He sucks. The Minnesota fans gave him some stupid nickname like Crappie or Eel or Porpoise or something. There's no way I'm going to walk him here. I'll just throw him an 87-mph fastball down the middle, and he'll probably pop out. Maybe even hit into a double-play."
But no, Punto cheated a bit on the pitch, and it paid off with his first homer. A big one. Later Jason Bartlett would homer.
What the hell is going on?
Twins win. A much needed slump-snapper. The way Anaheim has been playing, especially at home, and with the pitching matchups being what they were coming in, taking 1 of 3 is almost a victory for the Twins.
*Gardy is apparently going to bat Joe Mauer (he comes back Friday) 2nd in the order. It's good that he's finally seen the light, though slightly disappointing that he waited until now. It's like he has to wait until enough time has passed that he can act like he thought of it on his own, and somehow take away the satisfaction from the number of fans, bloggers, analysts and grandmothers who have been calling for the move for three years.
*Interesting news this week about a couple former Vikings whose jerseys are now wasting space in Mike Knudson's closet.
Daunte Culpepper is closer and closer to being irrelevant. Nobody wants him. The Dolphins prefer 37-year old, stone-footed Trent Green. I don't blame them.
Culpepper is back to talking to the media only through email. He says he doesn't want a trade because 'he's been through that already'.
Guess what, Daunte, the Dolphins don't want you to give them shitty quarterback play because, to quote an idiot, 'They've been through that already'.
I'm not often inclined to give Brad Childress credit for anything, but he was right on the money when he realized shortly after being hired that getting rid of Daunte was a good idea. Remember, Daunte told Childress in their first conversation, "I need to be a $10 million a year quarterback."
Yeah. Good luck with that. Ass.
On the other hand, Randy Moss is the new most popular player in New England. In a story for ESPN.com, Len Pasquerelli reports that Moss is back to his old tricks on the field, while making the right moves off it (he attended the funeral of Marques Hill with teammates and happily attended the team's charity golf event).
Let me get this out of the way.
I'm a pro-Randy guy. I won't defend some of his past antics, but he was, and possibly still is, an amazing player.
I don't care, I repeat, I DONT CARE, if he takes a few plays off. They all do.
This is not Pop Warner. This is not Little League. No one cares if you gave 110%. No one cares if you're a role model. No one cares if you hustle on every play.
What matters is if you have the talent and can do the job.
When healthy, Moss does the job as well as anyone.
This guy does not belong in the same discussion as Terrell Owens. He's not selfish, he's not a cancer. Lazy, yeah, I'll give you that. But if in the right situation, and I can't think of a better one than New England, he'll thrive.
I hope he catches 20 touchdowns, New England wins the Bowl, and he moons the entire world in the post game lockerroom.
The idea that athletes need to be role models for kids, by the way, is a joke. They're not volunteering, they're at work. Playing football or baseball or whatever is their job. If you'd rather have Wayne Chrebet on your team than Randy Moss, if you prefer Lew Ford to Barry Bonds, stop watching sports, because you don't get it. It's a business. Trying hard should be a given, not something to be compliemented. And if you're talented enough to have success without trying hard, well, it's not real admirable, but good for you anyway.
Big talented guys gets jobs over small, try real hard guys.
That's how it works. Life sucks, get a helmet.
*One final note.
Kevin Durant, who will likely be either the 1st or 2nd pick in the NBA draft (Greg Oden being the other), made news today when he was rated 78th out of 80 players at a workout. The main reason the NCAA player of the year was rated so low?
He failed to bench press 185 pounds. Once.
Seriously, that's hilarious. 185!
Durant is 18 years old, stands 6-foot-10, and weighs 225 pounds.
For comparison sake, President George W. Bush is 61 years old, stands 5-foot-11, and weighs 190 pounds.
And Bush benches 215. I looked it up.
I am a 27-year old out of shape sportswriter. I'm 5-9 and about 200 pounds. I haven't maxed out in several years, but for my bench workout (which was originally four times a week but is down to 'Hey, there's my weight bench maybe I should lift') I do 3 sets of 10 reps apiece - at 185 pounds.
Kevin Durant, get your skinny ass to a weight room.
If you don't you'll never survive a trip to the paint in the NBA.
Seriously, 185? Wow.
6 comments:
I was going to leave you a nicer comment, but I don't have it in me. Anyway, nice Denis Leary reference. You say you almost weigh 200 pounds? You mean in the direction of being over, right? Just kidding, nice post.
SDTwin -
I agree with you on all subjects addressed in your latest post. I'd like your input on something....you've been quoted as being an anti circle me Bert guy in the past. Take it or leave it, it's an innocent gesture by Bert. I'm actually big fans of him and Bramer calling games, regardless of how goofy they get sometimes. Bottom line is, I'm a twins fan. There is one thing Blyleven has to get away from saying, which he says repeatedly when analyzing a player getting a hit. He says, "....just dropped the head of the bat.....". Of course the hitter dropped the head of the bat during his swing. That's a natural occurrence when the bat is swung into motion, isn't it? Maybe it's just me that notices this, but it drives me nuts.
You noticed that too, huh?
Bert always says, "dropped the head of the bat" and Dan Gladden always says, "without a doubt". Someone should tell them.
I'm not of the opinion that Dick and Bert need to go, I just wish Dick wasn't such a blatant shill for the team. You have to be willing to offer at least a little criticism to have any credibility. Dick goes too far in defending terrible players or terrible plays.
And the 'Circle me Bert' signs don't really bother me on TV that much, it bothers me when I'm at the game.
Sit down and watch the game, quit trying to get on TV!
My mom benches 190.
Dazzle dreams of the days past when his mullet was healthier than it is today. Just the thought of his mullet flayling in the wind while riding his harley is what allows Dazzle to step up to the plate each game and call beside Gordo.
Was Randy Johnson up for Ugliest Athlete? At least honorable mention.
An annoying Bramer moment...."On FSN, they replay Santana striking somebody out, and Bramer's screaming at the top of his froggy lungs, "AWESOME, ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!!!!".........He's got to do better than that.
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