The Sox won the Series, which is fine. They're a very, very good baseball team. Not a fluke. They deserved it. Came back again. I picked 'em to win the Series when I wrote my preseason column in the paper back in March.
The whole thing was kinda cool in '04, because of how much they stuck it to the Yankees, and they ended that stupid "curse", meaning we thankfully don't have to hear about it anymore.
Now I'm kind of sick of 'em. They're the new Yankees, complete with douchebag famous fans.
Here is a list of Red Sox fans that suck.
Matt Damon (though I hear he rocks the shit in Bourne Identity)
Mark "Marky Mark and the Funky bunch" Wahlberg (Yeeeah, Can you feel it baby? I can, too)
Ben Affleck and whatever coked out girlfriend he brings with him (notice how unhot Jennifer Garner is? Wow)
Stephen King (He was reading a book in the stands during the ALCS wh
en the camera was on him - what a fan. Plus did you see how lame he was trying to throw out the first pitch in the movie "Fever Pitch"? Unacceptable.)Denis Leary (I actually really like Denis Leary, and he's a loyal, knowledgeable fan. But now is not the time to make friends. Fuck you, Denis. Rescue Me sucks worse than the Bruins.)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Is a Brokeback joke even necessary?)
Dane Cook (Doesn't know what a balk is. Or a triple.)
Bill Simmons (No, not a fan. Surprised? Fuck you.)
The Farrelly Brothers (Perhaps their Red Sox fandom explains their fascination and goodwill towards the mentally challenged?)
Peter Gammons (You're a journalist - quit hugging players!)
Mike O'Malley (If you don't know who he is, you're not missing anything. Imagine Dan Akroyd in Caddyshack 2 only less funny).
The Dropkick Murphys (Their recording of Tessie is very cool, except they let Bronson Arroyo sing backing vocals. Arroyo is such a douche the Sox traded him to Cincinnati specifically because of his raging douchebagginess.)
Jimmy Fallon (I bet Kevin Millar would kick his ass if he had the chance)
8 comments:
You're just spitting piss and vinegar because you've never played ball with a guy who won a World Series ring like I have. Although he did as much for the Sox this year as you and me combined.
"I bet Kevin Millar would kick his (Jimmy Fallon) ass if he had the chance."
That's because Jimmy took a gander at Millar's penis during the making of Fever Pitch.
By the way, Millar = Huge Douchebag.
Meanwhile, Twins fans are saddled with this guy.
If you don't know who that pudgy fellow is under the Twins hat, this is all you need.
Pretty weak Zim.
You're already cheating on the Pirates with the Tigers Solar, you can't start sticking up for the Sox, too. Clement sucks.
And Twins fans may actually be douchier than Sox fans (I never saw a Sox fan holding up a Circle Me sign), but at least Twins fans aren't famous douchebags. That's the difference.
"notice how unhot Jennifer Garner is"
No shit! She looks fucking fat in that picture.
Yeah, funny how that whole thing started. I used to just scan the crowd looking for stray snatch. If I saw a nice rack, I'd circle it. Soon everyone wanted their tits circled. Bremer encourages it. (I need to get that guy laid.)
Now I'm stuck circling every Lew Ford fan who decides to bring a shitty ass sign to the game.
That picture of Stephen King is just plain sick. What a dudo.
He looks like a turtle.
Tori Hunter says if the Twins are close to his best offer and he gets 5 years, he'll be in Minnesota.
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