Rod Beck - An all-timer

When I went to my first spring training, in Arizona in 1992, my family and I went to a Giants-Indians game, and got there plenty early to try and meet some players and get some autographs.
I specifically remember Will Clark and several other familiar names blowing us all off.

But I also remember an unknown guy with the worst hair I'd ever seen signing autographs for an hour.
The dude was not wearing a hat. He was nearly bald on top, with like a military crewcut, but in the back his hair went down to his waist and spread out sideways to where it almost wrapped around his arms.

It was Rod Beck. He was a nobody at the time, and he signed autographs until there was no one left to sign for.
Before long, Beck was one of the game's top closers, but his everyman quality never left him.

Beck died this week at 38. Cause of death is still unknown.
Since his death, plenty of stories have circulated describing what a cool guy he was.
He drank. He smoked. He had a mullet.
He was cool.

Once, after a game where he pitched poorly and blew a save, a reporter approached Beck's locker nervously and asked, "Are you available?"
He replied, "Actually, I'm married."

Then there was the time in 2003, when he was trying a comeback with the Triple-A Iowa Cubs.
While pitching there he lived in his RV behind the OF fence, and actually invited fans to grill-out and drink beer every night after games. But no Miller Lite (again, how cool is this guy?)
He cooked for these people, let them use the bathroom in his RV, and control the remote for the TV that was set up outside. Signed autographs. Bummed cigarettes.
He was eventually picked up by San Diego, and picked up 20 saves in 20 chances, all while throwing an 82-mph fastball.

Some of Beck's greatest quotes:
"I was taught that ice was for bourbon, not for your arm."
"If those guys were still there, I wouldn't go back for all the money in Boston. And there's a lot of money in Boston." - on Dan Duquette and Joe Kerrigan.
"I think half the time, I was throwing my fastball, but they thought it was a change."
"I didn't want to get a liquor license, so I just give the stuff away for free." - on inviting fans to his RV for postgame beers.
"If you can make money off me defacing a baseball card, good luck."
"I've never seen anyone go on the Disabled List with pulled fat."

Rod Beck dies, Manny Ramirez and Roger Clemens live on.
Say it isn't so.

Ugly Athlete No. 8 - Bartolo Colon

It doesn't help that this guy won a Cy Young Award that he blatantly didn't deserve, getting the nod over Johan Santana for the 2005 award, simply because he had 20 wins. Santana had more innings, strikeouts, complete games, shutouts, lower whip, lower ERA, scored with more chicks, cured more sick children and adopted more stray puppies than Bartolo that year, yet, well, we know how it turned out.

Nobody as far as I can tell, has ever been a fan of Bartolo Colon. He's fat. Out of shape. Ugly. Doesn't appear to enjoy the game. Has been in the league for like 20 years and still doesn't speak English as far as I know. His baseball-reference page is un-sponsored.

He's soooo ugly. There's this horrible gericurl Mexi-fro that always sticks out from under his tiny cap like a neglected Chia pet.
And this pencil-thin grayish, pube-like "mustache" that he refuses to shave. Gross. It's reminiscent of Andre the Giant, not well known for his good looks (but seemingly much more personable, and athletic for that matter).

He's also got a sort of round, cup-like face, and of course a huge gut, creating a resemblance to King Hippo of Mike Tyson's Punchout fame.
Bartolo Colon is nobody's favorite player. Not even his mother's.
He's ugly. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Bartolo Colon
MLB Baseball Player 1997-present
Ugliness: 10
Creepiness: 8
Identifying Characteristic: Mexi-fro, pube-stache, pot-belly. Sweat.
Looks like: Andre the Giant, King Hippo. A janitor I remember from Cleveland Elementary.

Twins who did roids

I don't get too worked up about all the steroid talk, whether it revolves around Bonds, Giambi, McGwire, whatever.

If they didn't want these dudes to take steroids they should've made it illegal.

How many steroid tests has Bonds failed?

And how many pitchers that McGwire, Bonds, Giambi & Co. took deep were also on roids?

Having said all that, I often go back and look at past Twins teams, and think about what guys were likely on roids, and how it never occurred to me at the time.
I don't think the Twins had a lot of roid-heads, but there were undoubtedly a few.

*Marty Cordova
Shown above getting his picture taken topless, no doubt for an underground gay mag in Minneapolis, Cordova was about to be released from the Minnesota organization early in his career.
In 1990, he hit .216 with 7 homers. In '91, he hit .212 with 7 homers.
In 1992, he hit .341 with 28 homers and 131 RBI. Hmmmmmmmm.
Cordova would go on to a pretty good major league career, hitting 122 homers in parts of 9 injury-plagued seasons, and winning the '95 AL Rookie of the Year award.
A unexplained spike in performance? A Canseco-like blend of speed and power? A bodybuilders physique, and an inability to stay off the DL?

Seriously, how did we miss this?

*Bobby Kielty
He's frickin' weird, he's buff, and his back is covered in zits.
He looked like a very promising player right up until the time the Twins traded him, but as the game has put more focus on steroids, Kielty has been little more than an uglier version of Lew Ford.

*JC Romero
Pitchers aren't supposed to be as buff as this guy was, who had one good year (maybe two) and a bad temper.
Recently cut by Boston.

*Chuck Knoblauch
Not that Chucky ever became a real big dude, but he looked a lot different in 1998 than in 1991, and also hit a lot more homers - 5 in his first 3 years, 18 in his first year as a Yankee.
Obviously Chucky wasn't taking the same stuff as some of the big boys, but I'm guessing he relied on more than protein shakes.

*(I hate to say it) Kirby Puckett
Maybe, maybe not.
I will say this:
1984 - 0 homers.
1985 - 4 homers.
1986 - 31 homers.
He credited the power surge to the leg-kick suggested by then-hitting coach Tony Oliva.
I hope that was the case. I'm skeptical.

Roadrunners...winning rules

When I'm not writing about an indoor football team that never loses, or a major league baseball team that seems to try its hardest not to win, then goes out and wins anyway, I do still actually play baseball.

This is my 9th year of amateur baseball, my second with the Renner Roadrunners, and my fourth as a manager.

After picking up a pair of wins Sunday and Monday, we are 4-2, including 3-0 in our conference, and are currently ranked No. 1 in the state in Class A.

On Sunday, our 20-year old pitcher Chris Kessinger, struck out 20 batters, and also homered and doubled. He's pretty good. He's got a chance to someday get paid to play this game.

And, just to brag a little, I am currently hitting .400 (6-for-15).

I don't know if we can win the state title. We could use a little more depth in our pitching staff.
But anyone that is going to contend for the title will certainly have to go through us.
All I know is that winning is fun. Really fun. I had almost forgotten how much fun it is to be part of a winner.
When you've got a group of guys you enjoy being around that know how to play the game the right way, baseball is the greatest game in the world.

And in case you are wondering, I never bat my DH 9th, don't limit my starters to 100 pitches per start, don't bat utility infielders in the 2-hole just because they run faster than a guy who gets on base twice as often, and I don't let a shitty outfielder play the OF instead of DH just because he thinks he hits better that way.

If we do win this thing, I may send my resume to Terry Ryan.

This is what MVP's do

When everyone else has screwed up, and the team is about to choke away a game they have to have, this is what MVPs do.

Not exactly out of contention

While many continue to act as though the Twins have no chance at postseason baseball in 2007, Thursday night's win over Atlanta serves as a reminder of how quickly momentum can turn in a sport where you play a game every day.
A sweep of the Bravos and suddenly everyone feels good again.
And any special season has to have at least a couple of dramatic 9th-inning comebacks now and again, so that made Thursday double-special.

*The comeback took Johan Santana off the hook for what would've been his 7th loss in 13 decisions. He lost six games all of last year.
While it might seem like Johan is having a down year, it should be pointed out that his 3.19 ERA and 105 strikeouts in 93 innings place him comfortably near the top of the AL leaders.
In fact, 2007 has probably been the best first half Johan has had since be became a full-time member of the rotation.
It's old news that Santana is a slow starter, but the 6-6 (almost 6-7) record seems to have overshadowed that Johan is in line for the best year of his career, assuming he gets into his usual mid-summer groove.
If and when that happens, he'll be on his way to another 250 or so strikeouts, and an ERA comfortably under 3. His win-loss record, as is the case with all pitchers, will depend on his run support, defense and bullpen.

*Two complete games in three starts for Carlos Silva. More importantly, he looked like the Silva of old in the shutout of the Braves, with a sinker that induced 15 ground outs.

*Not much news on the trade front. Twins are apparently not interested in Dmitri Young, because he had some clubhouse problems last year in Detroit. I think that's bogus. The guy's hitting .340, while the Twins DH is Jason Tyner, hitting .260 with no power.
Ty Wigginton's name is still out there, while BoSox 3B Mike Lowell's name has popped up.
Supposedly Lowell would be available if the Sox acquire Texas' Mark Tiexiera (and move Kevin Youkilis to 3B). I'll believe it when I see it.

*Name to know: Matt Tolbert
Just another name going into the season, Tolbert has wedged his way towards the top of the Twins positional prospects (admittedly not a difficult feat these days), by hitting .378, placing him tops in the International League.
The Twins are in no hurry to call him up, and they shouldn't be, since he hit just .258 in Double-A last year, and .303 in A-ball. He only has 10 homers in about 600 career ABs.
He's still raw, and probably bound to start coming down a little over the next few weeks or months.
But the Twins are clearly paying attention, as evidenced by the fact that they moved Tolbert from 2B to 3B last week.
That means Nick Punto and Matt Moses should also be paying attention.

*The Twins are 5.5 games back of Cleveland, and 3.5 back of Detroit, the wild-card leader.
The Yankees, left for dead by the whole world, have won 9 in a row, and are tied with the Twins.

I enjoy fucking with idiots

Actual conversation that took place between me and a fan at the Washington Nationals-St. Louis Cardinals game as I stood in line for a beer, May 26th at Busch Stadium in St. Louis.
(I was wearing a Cincinnati Reds hat, because I forgot my Twins hat at home, and the Reds were the only team on our trip of whom I felt comfortable sporting a hat).

Dude: "Why are you wearing a Cincinnati Reds hat at a Cardinals-Nationals game?"
Me: "Because I used to play for them."
Dude: "Oh, yeah? What's your name?"
Me: "Barry Larkin."
Dude: "Fuck you."
Me: satisfied.

Time for some new bats

Losing two of three to the Nationals is not a good thing, under any circumstances. But at least they averted disaster and salvaged a game Sunday.
Johan Santana got beat by some guy named Spangler or something (not Egon).
Santana expressed some frustration towards his teammates, and while I don't blame him, I think it should be pointed out that Santana is not pitching like Cy Young at this point.

Not saying he's struggled necessarily - two earned over seven should be a win, and an ERA of 3.24 should produce better than a 6-6 record. But right now Dan Haren and CC Sabathia are flat out better than Johan.

He's entitled to mistakes certainly, but it's hard to feel 100% confident he's going to go out and win every time when he's so susceptible to the homerun ball.
Obviously the Twins are still sorely in need of another bat or two, and there were two guys in uniform for Washington I'd like to see them move on, in DH/1B Dmitri Young and OF Ryan Church.

Young appeared to be at the end of the line last year when the Tigers dumped him, but he's been far more than just a hanger-on in Washington, posting an almost stunningly good .335/.405/.511 line for the Nats prior to Sunday's 3-for-5 effort. He is a switch-hitter.
He's 33, so it's not like he figures in their long term plans. You'd think he could be had for a low to mid level prospect (probably even lower than Scott Baker, though I'd be okay with Baker for Young).

Church is less of a likelihood since he's a lefty, and the Twins seem more desperate for a RH bat.
But the 28-year old has a nice skill-set. This year marks the first time he's had a chance to play every day, and he's among the NL leaders with 21 doubles.

In 735 career at-bats, he's posted a line of .268/.351/.459, with 26 homers.
That's not anything spectacular, but it's better than any Twin not named Mauer, Cuddyer, Hunter or Morneau, and unless the Nats plan on this guy being a cornerstone player (and since he'll be 29 in October, I doubt that), you'd think he'd also be available for a low-level prospect.

The Strib reports that Tampa Bay IF Ty Wiggington could be on the Twins radar, and I'd gladly welcome him to the team for a prospect less than or equal to Scott Baker.

Wigginton is at a modest .263/.307/.461 right now, with 11 homers.
Last year was by far his best as a pro, as he hit .275/.330/.498 with 24 homers in 444 ABs for Tampa. He's righthanded and will turn 30 in October. His salary is a manageable $2.7 million. Wigginton is a great option because he not can play 3B, while Young would be pretty much strictly a DH.

With that in mind, here's a radical idea - trade for them both. Make Wiggington the 3B and Young the DH, with Nick Punto replacing L-Rod as the utility guy. Maybe even try to add Church to the OF mix and get rid of RonDL.

Why not be aggressive?
This isn't an outrageous suggestion. These guys aren't going to cost an arm and a leg.
Come on, for once, do something to add to the offense!

*Analyzing the NFL or NBA draft is too much for me, so I won't even bother putting too much effort into analyzing the Twins draft from this weekend.

I will say that the 1st round pick, Ben Revere, is a clear vote of no-confidence in Triple-A centerfielder Denard Span, who we were told back in spring training was going to be ready to replace Torii Hunter for the Twins next year.

This strongly suggests that the Twins may be looking to find a way to resign Torii, which everyone in the media said would never happen.

They keep Torii for four more years, ditch Span, and have Revere ready to take over when Torii's next contract expires in 2010 or 2011.

It's no secret that the Twins system is stocked with an abundance of promising arms but very little in the way of talented offensive players, so I guess it's good that the Twins used their first four picks on position players.

In day two, though, they focused on pitching, and ended up with 26 pitchers among their 50 picks. So it's not like they strayed too far from their bread and butter.

*I was never a fan of Viking safety Orlando Thomas, as he was a decent centerfielder in the passing game but a terrible tackler.

Denny Green always stuck up for him, though. He always said what a smart player he was, and how he'd one day become a great coach.

Sure enough when he retired Denny added him to his staff in Arizona.
But as this story in the Strib reports (http://www.startribune.com/vikings/story/1235182.html), Thomas' life has taken a tragic turn, as he finds himself nearly paralyzed by Lou Gherig's disease.

Seriously, this is one of the saddest things I've ever, ever read.
Say a prayer for OT.

*Loved the last Sopranos. If you're pissed off about the non-committal ending, that probably means you're an idiot who needs to be spoon-fed entertainment. It was a perfect ending. And thank God Phil got whacked. Phil sucks.

A Piranha awakens, I miss Randy, Durant a pussy

I was at work, trying to work up the motivation to write a story about Mark Blackburn, a linebacker for the Storm. It wasn't going well. Nothing against Mark, but the Storm are hard to write about considering they've won 29 games in a row.

It gets boring.
So I look up at the TV and see John Lackey on the mound for Anaheim, pitching with a 4-0 lead. Lackey is currently in a battle with CC Sabathia (soon to be joined by Johan Santana) for the AL Cy Young award, so, it's looking like a sweep.

A minute later I look up and it says 4-2. Michael Cuddyer must've hit a homer (he did).
A minute later I look up again and there are two men on for Nick Punto. He works the count full. I get up from my desk and move closer to the TV.

Punto drives the 3-2 pitch for a three-run homer.
This is a minor miracle, considering the circumstances.
But I can understand how it happened.
Lackey thinks to himself, "Okay, this is Nick Punto. He sucks. The Minnesota fans gave him some stupid nickname like Crappie or Eel or Porpoise or something. There's no way I'm going to walk him here. I'll just throw him an 87-mph fastball down the middle, and he'll probably pop out. Maybe even hit into a double-play."

But no, Punto cheated a bit on the pitch, and it paid off with his first homer. A big one. Later Jason Bartlett would homer.

What the hell is going on?
Twins win. A much needed slump-snapper. The way Anaheim has been playing, especially at home, and with the pitching matchups being what they were coming in, taking 1 of 3 is almost a victory for the Twins.

*Gardy is apparently going to bat Joe Mauer (he comes back Friday) 2nd in the order. It's good that he's finally seen the light, though slightly disappointing that he waited until now. It's like he has to wait until enough time has passed that he can act like he thought of it on his own, and somehow take away the satisfaction from the number of fans, bloggers, analysts and grandmothers who have been calling for the move for three years.

*Interesting news this week about a couple former Vikings whose jerseys are now wasting space in Mike Knudson's closet.
Daunte Culpepper is closer and closer to being irrelevant. Nobody wants him. The Dolphins prefer 37-year old, stone-footed Trent Green. I don't blame them.

Culpepper is back to talking to the media only through email. He says he doesn't want a trade because 'he's been through that already'.

Guess what, Daunte, the Dolphins don't want you to give them shitty quarterback play because, to quote an idiot, 'They've been through that already'.

I'm not often inclined to give Brad Childress credit for anything, but he was right on the money when he realized shortly after being hired that getting rid of Daunte was a good idea. Remember, Daunte told Childress in their first conversation, "I need to be a $10 million a year quarterback."

Yeah. Good luck with that. Ass.

On the other hand, Randy Moss is the new most popular player in New England. In a story for ESPN.com, Len Pasquerelli reports that Moss is back to his old tricks on the field, while making the right moves off it (he attended the funeral of Marques Hill with teammates and happily attended the team's charity golf event).

Let me get this out of the way.
I'm a pro-Randy guy. I won't defend some of his past antics, but he was, and possibly still is, an amazing player.
I don't care, I repeat, I DONT CARE, if he takes a few plays off. They all do.
This is not Pop Warner. This is not Little League. No one cares if you gave 110%. No one cares if you're a role model. No one cares if you hustle on every play.

What matters is if you have the talent and can do the job.
When healthy, Moss does the job as well as anyone.
This guy does not belong in the same discussion as Terrell Owens. He's not selfish, he's not a cancer. Lazy, yeah, I'll give you that. But if in the right situation, and I can't think of a better one than New England, he'll thrive.

I hope he catches 20 touchdowns, New England wins the Bowl, and he moons the entire world in the post game lockerroom.
The idea that athletes need to be role models for kids, by the way, is a joke. They're not volunteering, they're at work. Playing football or baseball or whatever is their job. If you'd rather have Wayne Chrebet on your team than Randy Moss, if you prefer Lew Ford to Barry Bonds, stop watching sports, because you don't get it. It's a business. Trying hard should be a given, not something to be compliemented. And if you're talented enough to have success without trying hard, well, it's not real admirable, but good for you anyway.

Big talented guys gets jobs over small, try real hard guys.
That's how it works. Life sucks, get a helmet.

*One final note.
Kevin Durant, who will likely be either the 1st or 2nd pick in the NBA draft (Greg Oden being the other), made news today when he was rated 78th out of 80 players at a workout. The main reason the NCAA player of the year was rated so low?

He failed to bench press 185 pounds. Once.
Seriously, that's hilarious. 185!
Durant is 18 years old, stands 6-foot-10, and weighs 225 pounds.
For comparison sake, President George W. Bush is 61 years old, stands 5-foot-11, and weighs 190 pounds.
And Bush benches 215. I looked it up.
I am a 27-year old out of shape sportswriter. I'm 5-9 and about 200 pounds. I haven't maxed out in several years, but for my bench workout (which was originally four times a week but is down to 'Hey, there's my weight bench maybe I should lift') I do 3 sets of 10 reps apiece - at 185 pounds.

Kevin Durant, get your skinny ass to a weight room.
If you don't you'll never survive a trip to the paint in the NBA.
Seriously, 185? Wow.

Someone buy Jason Miller a shot

Lefthander Jason Miller looked somewhat promising in his first couple appearances out of the Twins bullpen.
In fact, with Dennys Reyes pitching so shitty before his injury, Dick and Bert openly talked about the Twins having a tough decision to make once Reyes comes back (which is expected to be soon).

Minutes later, Miller would be headed to the showers after a JD Durbin-esque performance.
The line: 1/3 IP, 7 hits, 8 earned runs, 2 homers.
That raised his ERA from 0.00 to 18.00.
It didn't matter, and thankfully Gardy was kind enough to put him out of his misery and remove him, where a lot of managers probably would've made him stay in, considering the score was 16-1 by then.
It's probably now a safe bet that when Reyes comes back, Carmen Cali will stay, and Miller will head back.
Having said that, this was just one outing. Miller still looks like a guy who might have a future.
It's just too bad the poor guy had to endure a night like this.

*A rough outing for Boof that could've been worse. Were it not for the cannon right arm of Michael Cuddyer, his line of 6 runs in 5.1 innings could've been, um, like I said, worse.
Boof had talked last week about pitching more to contact and not working as many deep counts, the idea being that would allow him to stay in games longer.
But this start should've been evidence of what a bad idea that is. Boof is a strikeout pitcher, and there's nothing wrong with that. When you 'pitch to contact' (a stupid phrase that makes as much sense as 'clogging up the bases'), you give up more hits. Period. The goal is to miss bats.
Boof has had a tendency to walk quite a few hitters, and if he's going to be giving up a bunch of hits and not striking anyone out, that's a recipe for disaster.

Chief, Piranhas suck, Mauer should bat 2nd

Carlos Silva is now 3-6 after 11 starts.
That's probably about what most of us expected Chief's record to be after 11 starts.

Of course, we expected that his 3-6 record would be accompanied by an ERA somewhere north of 7.50, and yet here he is with a 3.86 ERA, 20th in the American League.
Luck has had a lot to do with it, especially early on, but Silva looked something like his 2004-05 self in Saturday's start against Oakland, when he pitched an 8-inning complete game in a 1-0 loss.
The Twins have been shut out five times this year, and four came on days Silva pitched.
Normally that would frustrate the hell out of the guy, but the way last year went, it's evident he's just happy to be keeping his team in the game.

I'd be very surprised if Silva keeps his ERA under 4 all year, and there's almost no way he's a Twin next year, but it's at least nice to see his career somewhat back on track.

*It will be very hard for the Twins to stay in contention in the AL Central if their offense does not start getting more contributions from people other than the usual suspects.
Nick Punto and Jason Bartlett both have sub-.300 slugging percentages. Jason Kubel's OBP is still below .300.
Luis Castillo is hitting .339 with a .386 OBP, but his slugging % is barely higher than his batting average.

In Castillo's case I'm not complaining. He is what he is and he's doing his job. But a good team can really only afford to have one guy like that, maybe two. Not four or five.
Bartlett is simply not doing the job at short right now.
He's making highlight plays on occasion and obviously has as much range as any SS in the AL. But he has 10 errors in 48 games, and has been a virtual non-factor with the bat.
Punto's ineffectiveness has not been a surprise, but Kubel's has.

The Twins are trying to get Jeff Cirillo more at-bats, but the idea was for him to play primarily against lefties. He's not much more than an average hitter against righties, and that's what fans are seeing now. That makes Punto's suckiness hurt a little bit more, as it's forcing Gardy to use the 37-year old Cirillo more than he probably should.

*I have no idea whether Gardy will actually consider it, but with the Piranhas being so shitty, it couldn't be more obvious that Joe Mauer should bat 2nd when he returns (sounds like Friday).
It's been suggested before (pretty much from day one on this blog), but in light of the hot hitting of Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau, the failure of the Piranhas and the failure (so far) of Mauer to develop into a power hitter, the 'Mauer for 2-hole' voices have grown louder and more numerous.
Maybe he'll finally relent and give it a try.
When Mauer returns, this should be the lineup.

Castillo 2B
Mauer C
Cuddyer RF
Morneau 1B
Hunter CF
Kubel LF
Redmond DH
Punto/Cirillo 3B
Bartlett SS

Doesn't that look better?