This is you, Twins fans

It goes without saying that Nick Punto is a polarizing figure among Twins fans.
There are fans with brains, who realize he should never get more than 200 at-bats in a season, and fans who treat Major League Baseball like a Disney movie, who believe childish virtues such as trying hard, smiling and sliding headfirst are enough to make someone a useful player.
The latter group bombards me with emails during the regular season telling me how I'm too negative and asking me why I hate the Twins so much (because as we all know, if you don't root for who and what Dick Bremer tells you to, you hate the Twins).

Earlier this week, Strib columnist Jim Souhan penned a column on Punto, which quoted Punto saying he planned to rebound and compete for playing time, and quoted Mike Redmond saying all sorts of ridiculous things about how good Punto is. No wonder everyone thinks Redmond has a future in managing. He has Gardy's ability to totally overvalue utility players.

And unfortunately, a large segment of Twins fans eat this stuff up.
This is a sampling of reader comments that appeared after Souhan's column. I have made up none of it.

I dont care what anyone says but he is among the top 10 defensive infielders in the current game, for him not to have won a golden glove in 2006 was an insult. He still makes the top 10 plays as much as Hunter and yet plays way less. The day punto leaves the twins is the day i stop cheering for them. punto fan forever

Punto is a huge asset to this Twins team that always prides itself on defense. Yes, he had an off year at the plate, but what these fickle fans love to forget is that Hunter had a slump a few years ago too, he couldn't do anything but hit into double plays. Without Punto's acrabatics in the field, the Twins would have lost many more games in '07. Give him a break! You'll be singing a different tune when his slump turns around.

Nick, you ARE a winner. A winner is not someone who wins a championship - that can happen to anyone lucky enough to be on the right team. A winner is someone who plays the game like you. Even when things are going bad.

Punto could go 1 for 400 next year and I'd still be on his bandwagon. I will wear his jersey proudly at the dome this season.

Nick Punto's hustle on the field, his acrobatic plays on defense, and his never-say-die attitude should make him the envy of everyone, and he's the kind of player we'd like our kids to emulate. With those remarkable attributes, he doesn't need to hit .300. The Twins and Twins fans are lucky to have him. Press on, Nick, and know we're behind you!

fans need to leave nick alone. none of you are major league baseball players so you dont know what they go through day in and day out.. nick gives constant effort, everyone should be happy to have someone like that on there team. so next time anyone wants to talk bad about nick realize you cant do what he does any better. how would you like to have thousands of people that dont have any experience in your line of work criticise you about how you do your job? thank about that and just enjoy the damn game........thank you

Punto plays on my team everyday. He has hit in the past and will again. He plays hard on every play, makes great plays and is the ultimate team guy. I would give him 2B and let him play...everyday. Although he had an off year in 06, I'd take him over any DH the Twins sent to the plate in the past few years

Hope you're proud of yourself Dick. I couldn't make this shit up if I wanted to.

There were, in the interest of fairness, some amusing comments from people who are apparently not retarded.

Now we're consider how guys feel? What's this...little league? To put all this in perspective, Punto put up one of the worst offensive seasons in modern history and now he thinks he should lead off!?? Being a terrible hitter doesn't make you a better fielder, and it sure as heck shouldn't win you the admiration of your manager. He's a good defensive player, but he's not that great.

Punto is one of the worst hitters in all of baseball and I would defy anyone to say that he says more runs on defense than he loses us on offense. It simply is laughable that Punto is still in a major league uniform. Twins fans are their own worse enemy. We always swoon over the overrated garbage i.e. Rivas, Punto, Tyner, Cuddyer, Kubel, and the fans are to blame partly for how bad the team has been shaped the last couple of years.

I'm glad you folks think he's so neat... At least our little 70 win team will have "good guys" playing for it. Little League is where everyone gets to play three innings and have one at bat; this is MLB, and I expect players who can play (and hit!!)... Fans need to stop accepting mediocrity!

I've written extensively about Punto, as have most Twins bloggers. Most seem to agree that Punto does in fact have value, but only if used sparingly and optimally.
But he should never play every day. Even his career year (now obviously a fluke) of 2006, his OPS+ was a modest 90. For his career its 69, meaning he's 31 percent below average.

Why do so many Twins fans tolerate mediocrity, or worse, outright shitiness??
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Do these people even care if the Twins win? I'm so sick of people treating the big leagues like Little League.
These guys are making millions upon millions, and therefore ticket prices are through the roof all over the country.
If I'm going to pay $75 for a good seat, I'd at least hope that the team is trying to win, rather than trying to show little Tommy how to "play the game the right way".

If you want your shitty kid to learn how to play, buy one of those Tom Emanski videos.
The rest of us would prefer to see the Twins actually acquire players who are good major leaguers.

What can we expect from Francisco?

You may remember that even though he won the AL Cy Young award in 2006, Johan Santana might've only been the second best starter on his team, as Francisco Liriano went 12-3 with a 2.16 ERA and 144 Ks in 123 innings.
After beginning the year in the bullpen, he went on a tear through mid-summer in which he was un-hittable, landing him on the AL All-Star team and, with Santana, Brad Radke and Boof Bonser all pitching well, many favored the Twins to win the World Series if they could just get to the playoffs.

They got to the playoffs, of course, but Liriano blew out his elbow, Radke his shoulder, and the whole thing fizzled.

And, with Radke retired, Liriano out with Tommy John surgery, and the offense sucking ass, the '07 Twins stunk.

So now, as the Twins try to start over, one of the major questions for them is whether or not Liriano will ever regain his form.

Some guys (Erik Bedard, Matt Morris, Justin Verlander, John Smoltz) have come back strong from Tommy John surgery. Others (Jason Isringhausen, Steve Karsay) have become relievers afterward, and still others (Joe Mays) had their career essentially ended by it.

Liriano is young, 24, which certainly improves his chances of coming back strong, if not better than before.
Indications are that the Twins will take it slow with Liriano this year, and since they're not likely to compete this year, that would obviously be prudent.

When Joe Mays had TJ surgery, he told everyone he would come back stronger, probably because he had heard that elsewhere. But at his age that was unlikely. Guys who did come back stronger from TJ surgery, like Verlander, Eric Gagne and Mariano Rivera, had the surgery when they were young.

The Twins did the right thing by shutting down Liriano when he first had arm problems, even though it may have cost them a shot at the World Series, and if you believe what the team has been telling the media, every step of the rehab process has gone swimmingly.
The Strib is now reporting that Liriano hit 97-mph on the gun twice in a recent bullpen session, and has consistently been in the 92-95 mph range.
That's great news, but the real test will be when he starts snapping that 90-mph slider, the one that turns his elbow into a pretzel.

Plenty of sources have speculated that Liriano will throw somewhere between 120 and 160 innings this year. Does that mean they skip him in the rotation a few times? Limit him to 75 pitches per start? Start him in the minors or in the bullpen? It's anyone's guess.
The bottom line is that there's no reason to push him, unless the Twins somehow manage to compete in the AL race.

I think there's reason to believe Liriano will be a valuable, perhaps even elite pitcher again. Maybe as soon as this year. He may have to become a reliever one day, but that should be a last resort. The Twins, while not ready to compete now, still have plenty of young talent, and Liriano obviously is a key to getting back to the playoffs consistently.

I'm looking forward to his first outing this spring.

Delmon vs. Carl Crawford

There's a war of words going back and forth between Twins camp and the Devil Rays camp, involving new Twins OF and former Rays phenom Delmon Young and veteran Tampa OF Carl Crawford.

Crawford seems to be going out of his way to make a point for some reason, accusing Young and Elijah Dukes of being cancerous players, while Young is doing an admirable job of mostly taking the high road.

Here's a link to the back and forth. Also worth noting are the comments at the bottom which overwhelmingly support Crawford and trash Young. That's to be expected since it's a Florida paper, but keep in mind, this is a franchise of losers.

And it begins

Spring training has begun.
And obviously, things are a little different this year. Torii Hunter, Johan Santana, Carlos Silva, Matt Garza and Jason Bartlett are gone. And the Twins aren't expected to be in contention for a playoff spot.
I don't think the Twins are going to be bad, but I don't think they have a very realistic shot at the playoffs. I'm guessing somewhere between 75 and 83 wins. Their lineup should be a lot better, but the rotation is full of questions.

I could put together a list of at least 25 questions for spring training, but a lot of them are obvious. This is what I'll be paying closer attention to during spring practice.

*Boof Bonser's weight issues
He's lost over 25 pounds since last year (click on the photos for the full before and after look), when he posted a 5.10 ERA. The Twins felt his weight was a problem, and when you consider how well he pitched in the early innings compared to how badly he pitched in the middle and late innings, they may be right (it may also be that his stuff is simply better suited to the bullpen - we'll see).
So the question is, Does a lighter Boof mean a better Boof?






*Denard Span - seriously?
The first round pick of 2002 has been largely a disappointment as a minor-leaguer, but has come out swinging (figuratively) this spring, calling out media and bloggers who have written him off. He says he's going to be the Twins opening day CF, and he will be given a chance. I'm inclined to think his bat simply isn't good enough. Maybe he'll develop late, like Hunter did.

*Craig Monroe - will he stick?
If Monroe, who hit .219 last year, makes the team, he gets $3.82 million. If they cut him, they only have to pay him 800K. I really don't understand why the Twins offered him so much to begin with, and I think they'd probably be better off cutting him. But the Twins seem to think they can fix him, so I'm guessing that as long as he hits above .100 he makes the team.

*Nick Punto - will he play?
Please Gardy. You have a Gold Glove SS in Adam Everett, and two above-average offensive infielders at 2B (Brendan Harris) and 3B (Mike Lamb). Punto should be nothing more than a defensive replacement and once-a-week starter.

*Will Joe Nathan sign an extension?
Nathan is one of the game's top 3 closers. He can get a deal that would pay him in the $15 million a year range, but seems to be indicating he'll stay in Minnesota for less.
I don't think they should do it. The Twins organization is loaded with quality arms, and probably 4 to 7 of them could make quality closers. I love Nathan, he's the best the Twins have ever had, but a team on a budget simply shouldn't spend major money on a closer.
Gardy's pushing hard for the Twins to sign him, though. If it happens I certainly won't be upset, because Nathan is great. I just think there are better ways to spend money.

Almost there

Pitchers and catchers have reported, and spring training will soon be in full swing.
We're getting closer to the end of five months of hell.
I just got back from the Twins Cities (I saw the Wild beat Nashville 5-4 in OT on a game-winner from Marian Gaborik with 4.4 seconds left - happy birthday to me), and am catching up at work. So in the meantime, here are some spring training pics to get you, uh, in the mood, so to speak, including a first look at some new faces.
Also, here's a link to an absolutely great read from ESPN's Jim Caple about participating in Twins fantasy camp. Check it out.










Jeff Christy, Joe Mauer, Eli Whiteside

Livan Hernandez

Kevin Mulvey

Philip Humber

Deolis Guerra

He shall be Livan

While there were indications that the Twins were ready to hand the keys to the car to the kids, and open up all five spots of the starting rotation to the group of Scott Baker, Boof Bonser, Francisco Liriano, Kevin Slowey, Nick Blackburn, Glen Perkins, Phil Humber, Kevin Mulvey and Brian Duensing (did I miss anybody?), they made a somewhat predictable move Tuesday and signed veteran fatty (I mean right-hander) Livan Hernandez to a 1-year, $5 million deal.

I'm not thrilled, as I'd kind of like the young guys to get their shot, and Hernandez is coming off an unimpressive year for Arizona. He went 11-11 with a 4.93 ERA, allowing 247 hits in 204 innings, with 79 walks and only 90 Ks. His WHIP was an ugly 1.595, and he allowed 34 homers.

On the other hand, Hernandez is maybe the most durable starter in the game. He's led the league in innings pitched three times, games started twice, and that can be beneficial to a team with young starters. Most likely, Livan's major task every time he takes the ball will be to give the Twins bullpen a break.

Over a 12-year career, Hernandez's average season has been 12-12 with a 4.25 ERA in 230 innings. He'll also replace Johan Santana as the team's top hitting pitcher, as Livan has a career .232 average with 9 homers.

Ultimately I'm fairly ambivalent about the move. Just going with the youngsters could've had its advantages, but Livan can help the team, too.

*Doug Mientkiewicz signed a 1-year deal with the Pirates. I've advocated the Twins adding Dougie as a bench player in recent years. He's got a great glove, and what many don't seem to realize is that he can play almost any position on the field - he's not limited to 1B. He's been effective when healthy over the last two seasons (he hit .283/.359/.411 for KC in '06, and .277/.349/.440 for the Yanks last year), but since the Bucs have Adam LaRoche, he's not going to Pittsburgh to start. You'd think he could find a bench job for a better team.

2008: The Perfect Year

A few years ago while he was still writing for Sports Illustrated, Rick Reilly wrote a classic point after column titled the perfect day.

His day - which included things like breakfast in bed from Gabby Reece and the cancellation of track and field - sounded great. But I think he sold himself short. From here on out, I'm looking for the perfect year in 2008.

Mar. 1 - Tired of the Yankee bullshit and ready to devote himself to banging supermodels full-time, Derek Jeter retires.

Mar. 7 - Joe Buck comes down with a near-fatal mutated strand of strep throat. He survives but is rendered mute, and never broadcasts another game. Troy Aikman, upon hearing the news, spends the whole day giving fist-bumps to whoever he sees.

Mar. 16 - With a record of 20-10, and 10-8 in Big 10 play, the Minnesota Golden Gophers earn a spot in the NCAA tournament in their first year under Tubby Smith.

Mar. 31 - Torii Hunter homers twice, but the Twins beat the Angels 8-2 on opening day, behind seven strong innings from Scott Baker and homers from Joe Mauer, Delmon Young and Mike Lamb.

Mar. 31 - Johan Santana strikes out 10 in six innings in his Mets debut, but also allows four homers as the Marlins win 8-4. Santana's line in his first start: 6 IP, 7 H, 5 ER, 2 BB, 10 K

Apr. 7 - While filming his latest Oscar contender, "Tiger Boy", Adam Sandler is eaten by a Siberian tiger.

Apr. 8 - Major League Soccer folds.

Apr. 29 - Johan Santana allows another three homers in a 7-1 loss. He finishes the month 1-3 with a 6.84 ERA. Everyone says, 'Don't worry, Santana always starts crappy.'

May 12 - Tired of living a lie, Debbie Clemens admits that she took HGH for her SI swimsuit photo shoot. Roger continues his denials.

May 18 - With my wife and I in attendance at Coors Field, Justin Morneau homers four times in a 14-3 Twins win over the Rockies. I catch three of them.

June 5 - Phil Hughes allows 7 runs in 2/3 of an inning, falling to 1-5 on the year.

June 8 - The Cubs improve to 48-14 with their 7th straight win. Cubs fever is through the roof. They have a 15 game lead in the NL Central.

June 9 - The Cubs blow an 8-0 lead in the 9th inning, losing 9-8.

June 12 - Carlos Gomez steals three bases in a Twins win over Cleveland, giving him 23, the most in the majors.

June 18 - Roger Clemens' legal team releases more "evidence" that he didn't take steroids, but no one is listening anymore.

June 19 - Kevin Garnett's 33 points, 17 rebounds and 11 assists lead the Celtics to a 99-95 win over Phoenix in Game 7 of the NBA Finals.

June 25 - Brian Rolston's hat-trick leads the Minnesota Wild to a 5-1 win over Detroit in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, giving the Wild the sweep, and bring the cup to America's true hockeytown.

July 4 - Brett Favre blows off three fingers on his right hand while lighting an M-80, but says he will still return to quarterback the Packers.

July 13 - Manny Ramirez is found dead in his hotel room, having suffocated in his hair.

July 22 - Marnie Gellnar divorces her husband and marries Ron Coomer.

July 26 - The Cubs lose another 9th inning lead for their 11th loss in 12 games.

July 30 - Order of AL East standings: Tampa Bay, Baltimore, Toronto, Boston, New York.

August 3 - Johan Santana allows his 40th HR of the year in a 5-3 loss. He's on pace to break Bert Blyleven's record for HR allowed in a season, and sports a 5-11 record with a 5.02 ERA.

August 11 - Gary Sheffield strikes out eight times in a double-header, dropping his average to .179.

August 16 - The Bengals release WR Chad Johnson, and no other teams sign him.

August 22 - The Cubs lose their fifth in a row and fall out of first place for the first time all year.

August 27 - Justin Morneau hits his 39th HR.

Sept. 2 - Brett Favre wins the Packers starting QB job despite having only two fingers on his throwing hand.

Sept. 11 - The pennant races are heating up. Tampa leads the O's by three games in the AL East, the Twins lead the Royals by six in the Central, and the Rangers lead by four games in the West. In the NL, the Nationals are running away with the East, while the Pirates and Brewers are tied for first in the Central. In the West, uh, I don't care I guess.

Sept. 16 - John Mayer electrocutes himself while playing the Star Spangled Banner at an Astros game. I don't really care if he dies or not, just as long as he stops making music.

Sept. 23 - The Cubs lose for the 22nd time in 25 games. Lou Piniella is committed.

Sept. 28 - Brett Favre throws two touchdown passes, one for each finger, in a 14-9 win over the Bears.

Sept. 29 - David Ortiz finishes the season with a .214 average and 10 homers for the 72-90 Red Sox, who edge the Yankees for 4th place in the East. Johan Santana finishes 8-16 with a 5.06 ERA for the Mets. He surrenders 53 homers, breaking Bert Blyleven's record.

Oct. 2 - The Twins open the ALDS with a 5-1 win over Tampa behind a strong outing from 20-game winner Boof Bonser.

Oct. 6 - Isiah Thomas is arrested on charges of sexual harassment and embezzlement. He is immediately raped in prison.

Oct. 19 - Adrian Peterson rushes for 444 yards in a 34-6 win over the Packers.

Oct. 20 - After several months in purgatory, Adam Sandler is sent to hell.

Oct. 25 - The Twins sweep the Pirates in the World Series. Delmon Young is MVP.

Nov. 9 - Wagering my tax return on a Twins World Series win pays off handsomely for me, and I spend my winnings on a hottub, a 71-inch flatscreen TV, a Ford F250 and breast implants for my wife. She doesn't need 'em, but what the hell, the Twins don't win the Series every day, and I like to spoil my womens.

Nov. 18 - For Title IX reasons, soccer is made a female-only sport nationwide. "Now soccer can be played the way it was meant to be played - by chicks only," says President-elect Ron Jeremy.

Nov. 24 - Something bad happens to Terrell Owens. I don't care what.

Nov. 29 - Though there's a month left in the season, Brett Favre retires, and refuses to do any interviews. He goes home to focus on fishing and is never heard from again.

Dec. 25 - Twinstown secures a sponsorship deal with Budweiser for $500,000 a year.

I'm feeling good about my chances. I'd say at least 70% of this stuff will happen for sure.

Get Back to Work

I know, I know, I haven't updated in awhile - quit bitching, I've got something in the works for Monday.
In the meantime, try actually getting some work done today.
If that proves to be too much, enjoy this picture of Gianna Michaels.

You're welcome.

God I Hate Football