AL Central Preview - The Sox

Does it matter that the White Sox are 7-19 in spring training?
That's a .269 winning percentage - not exactly setting the tone for a title defense.
Nearly every baseball publication I've come across has picked the Sox to get back to the World Series - and why not?
The Red Sox and Yankees are ancient with crappy pitching, while Chicago added Jim Thome and Javier Vazquez.
(The fact that they lost their excellent CF and have no bullpen, while the Twins and Tigers both look significantly improved apparently has gone unnoticed.)
But a close look at the Sox suggests that they won't be able to just cruise to the title.
The AL Central will be strong 1-4, and if they don't catch seemingly every break like they did a year ago, the Sox might struggle to repeat.
Probable Starting Lineup:
LF Scott Podsednik
2B Tadahito Iguchi
DH Jim Thome
1B Paul Konerko
RF Jermaine Dye
3B Joe Crede
C AJ Pierzynski
SS Juan Uribe
CF Brian Anderson
Starting Rotation:
LH Mark Buehrle
RH Freddy Garcia
RH Jose Contreras
RH Jon Garland
RH Javier Vazquez
Closer: Bobby Jenks
It would be fair to say, as many have, that the White Sox simply have the fewest amount of questions entering the season, which is a perfectly sound reason for favoring them.
On the other hand, this is a team for which nearly everything went right last year - and I have a hunch it won't go that way this time around.
And when it doesn't, how will the players respond to Ozzie Guillen's antics?
He's already called his closer, the unproven Bobby Jenks, a "fatass." (hey, at least he tells the truth) and he has a bad tendency to speak first without thinking of how his words might be perceived.
Personally, I thought the moment the Sox hired Guillen that he'd be a perfect fit. The Sox were a talented team that simply needed a kick in the ass - a manager to challenge them, rather than tell them how much better they were than the Twins like Jerry Manuel did. But now that he got them to win I wonder how he'll motivate them as favorites, rather than underdogs.
There are a few questions with this team, starting in CF, where rookie Brian Anderson replaces the vastly underrated Aaron Rowand. And who's the closer? The 290-pound Jenks, who had a great postseason but had done nothing in the bigs before that? With Dustin Hermanson injured and Damaso Marte and Luis Vizcaino gone, the Sox are seriously thin in the pen.
Last year perennial underachiever Jon Garland went 18-10 with a 3.50 ERA. Do you think he'll do that again? I don't.
I also have my doubts about 52-year old Cuban Jose Contreras, while Javier Vazquez, the 5th starter, is way overrated. Buehrle and Garcia are, however, as good as it gets 1-2.
Offensively, Jim Thome and Paul Konerko could be deadly in the 3-4 spots. I don't think Thome is the same player he was five years ago, but I don't think he's finished, either.
2B Tadahito Iguchi was the most underrated acquistion in all of baseball last year, helping to shore up what was once a terrible infield. However, Iguchi has been awful this spring, hitting below .150. It's possible that ML pitchers have adjusted to him.
LF Scott Podsednik is also battling injuries. He's another guy who could see a drop off in production in his second year in the AL.
C AJ Pierzynski is a lot like Ozzie. When you're winning everyone thinks he's funny and makes the clubhouse a better place. If things go bad, he's often made a scapegoat for problems. We'll see how things play out with him as well. Rob Mackowiak gives them a strong bench player.
The Good: Deep and balanced lineup, 5 starters capable of throwing 200 innings, defense has no gold glovers but no liabilities.
The Bad: Brian Anderson has very big shoes to fill in CF, bullpen could be the worst in the division if Jenks doesn't get it together.
Best-case scenario: Thome hits 40 homers in front of Konerko; Iguchi and Podsednik ignite the top of the order; Anderson has a rookie of the year type season replacing Rowand; Jenks saves 40; Garland and Contreras do it again; Vazquez settles in as the 5th starter. Sox go back to the series.
Worst-case scenario: A couple bad breaks early, combined with the strong play of the rest of the division, cause the Sox to press. Guillen's loud-mouth act wears thin, Thome goes on DL, Iguchi and Podsednik fall off some, Anderson goes back to AAA, bullpen is a disaster and bottom half of rotation bombs. Sox barely manage .500.
Chicago White Sox
Manager: Ozzie Guillen
Offense: A-
Defense: B
Starting Pitching: A-
Bullpen: C-
Bench: B
Prediction: 88-74 2nd in AL Central

Spring Training Notes

With opening day a week away, the Twins find themselves with several unresolved questions.
None of them are major, but they're enough to make a guy a little nervous.
Firstly, the leading candidates to win the two open jobs in the starting lineup both appear in danger of starting the year on the DL.
Michael Cuddyer, whose .500 avg this spring made him the runaway winner for the RF job, has a strained muscle that could mean Lew Ford will open the year in right.
One good thing that could come of it, though, is Jason Kubel making the team. If he plays well he could maybe be the everday guy by midseason, and let's face it, that's what we all want.
SS Jason Bartlett may also start the year on the DL, which would leave the job to Lil' Nicky Punto and Juan Castro - a somewhat dire situation.
At the very least Castro will be outstanding in the field, and to be honest, even if Bartlett was healthy there really hasn't been any reason to think he's going to be any better than Pat Meares ever was.
PH Ruben Sierra will not be ready for opening day, probably opening a spot for Luis Rodriguez or perhaps Terry Tiffee or Jason Tyner.
*In other news it looks like the two open bullpen spots are going to go to lefties Francisco Liriano (yes!) and Dennys Reyes.
Reyes will be the face-one-lefty guy, while Liriano (pictured) will be a second long man to go with Matt Guerrier.
Assuming Liriano does indeed make the team, it'll be the best thing to happen this spring. The Twins pen needs another power arm, and regardless of how they end up using him, he just gives them added depth.
*Tony Batista is batting .222 with a .255 OBP. I've tried to keep an open mind about Batista, but he's gonna have to hit 40 homers to tolerate a .255 OBP. His fielding has been okay and he can still get in better shape, but I wonder how much rope the Twins are gonna give him.
Guys like Jeff Cirillo, Tony Graffanino, Russ Branyan and others could probably be had fairly cheap.
*Kyle Lohse is 4-0 with a 2.15 ERA this spring. Ignore that 9-13 record he had last year - Lohse could be on the verge of becoming a major factor in the rotation. I know we've been hearing that for years, but he's coming off a season in which he lowered his ERA over a full run. He'd be a No.1 or No.2 on several teams.

AL Central Preview - Detroit Tigers

While I've maintained all spring that the Twins are getting overlooked and will be dangerous, the same could be said of the Motor City Kitties.
When I read what some are saying about this team, all I can think is, "Have you looked at their roster?"
They have an emerging pitching staff, the most underrated keystone combo in the sport, a nice bench, and a manager I think will have a positive effect on them.
Probable Starting Lineup:
CF Curtis Granderson
2B Placido Polanco
1B Chris Shelton
RF Magglio Ordonez
C Ivan Rodriguez
SS Carlos Guillen
DH Dmitri Young
LF Craig Monroe
3B Brandon Inge
Starting Rotation:
RH Jeremy Bonderman
LH Kenny Rogers
LH Mike Maroth
LH Nate Robertson
RH Justin Verlander
Closer: Todd Jones
There may not be two players in the AL as underrated as Polanco and Guillen. I just love these guys. Both are on-base machines with good power for a middle infielder, and both are excellent in the field.
I-Rod's career is on the downside, but he's still one of the top 10 catchers in the league, if not top 5.
Chris Shelton started last year in the minors and ended it hitting .299 with 18 homers in the bigs. Dmitri Young (.271, 21 HR), Craig Monroe (.277, 20 HR) and Brandon Inge (.261, 16 HR) make pretty good 7-8-9 hitters.
If I thought Magglio would play more than 100 games (I don't) I'd really like this team.
They could do better than Granderson in CF - I think I'd hit Guillen leadoff and Granderson 9th.
The bench has speed (Nook Logan is the fastest player in the game), power (Carlos Pena hit 18 HRs in 260 ABs last year) and defense (utility man Omar Infante, OF Marcus Thames and C Vance Wilson are all good with the leather).
On the mound, Bonderman is a stud, and the Gambler will have at least one more good year if he can leave the Detroit cameramen alone. A big key will be Maroth and Robertson pitching like 3rd starters, not 5th starters. And speaking of 5th starters, top prospect Justin Verlander gets the first crack. He's probably not ready just yet, but if he gives them anything it would be a nice boost.
The bullpen is questionable, but has lots of live arms.
Todd Jones was out of baseball a couple years ago; last year he had 40 saves and a 2.10 ERA. I doubt he'll duplicate that, but he'll be solid. Fireballers Franklyn German and Fernando Rodney need to get it together in middle relief, and if they do, they could combine with lefty Jamie Walker and righties Chris Spurling and 21-year old Joel Zumaya to do a decent job.
The Good: Very deep lineup, excellent defense, outstanding 1-2 starters, good bench.
The Bad: Several regulars have history of injuries, bullpen is unproven, 3-5 starters could be no better than average. Manager Jim Leyland has been out of baseball for almost a decade.
Best Case Scenario: Ordonez stays healthy and puts up MVP numbers, Shelton takes another step forward, I-Rod shows he's got plenty left in the tank, Maroth and Robertson have their best season, bullpen emerges and the Tigers win 90 games, competing for a playoff spot.
Worst Case Scenario: Ordonez, Young and Guillen spend significant time on DL, Rogers and I-Rod fade, back end of rotation fails, bullpen fails, Shelton has sophomore slump, Leyland is out of his element and the Tigers lose 90 games.
Detroit Tigers
Manager: Jim Leyland
Offense: B+
Defense: B
Starting Pitching: B-
Bullpen: C
Bench: B+
Predicition: 84-78 3rd in AL Central

AL Central Preview - Cleveland Indians

The Royals are so bad, that I'll admit I kind of half-assed their preview.
Now that we're moving into teams that actually have a shot to contend, I'm gettin serious. As serious as the 300-pound, fat-ass, Twins-hating lefty seen at right.
The Indians have probably the best collection of young talent in the division. Most of their best players have yet to reach their full potential.
They finished last year on fire, narrowly missing the playoffs at 93-69, so of course, they're a hip pick in the AL.
I don't see it. In fact, I think they're maybe the most overrated team in the league, and I expect them to drop off some from last year.
They've lost their No. 1 starter, their centerfielder and leadoff hitter, their fifth starter and two key relievers. The shakiest parts of their team; third base, right field and closer, all got a year older.
If the core of this team takes another step forward those things may not matter, but I'm predicting that the Indians will disappoint.
Probable Starting Lineup:
CF Grady Sizemore
SS Jhonny Peralta
C Victor Martinez
DH Travis Hafner
LF Jason Michaels/Todd Hollandsworth
1B Ben Broussard/Eduardo Perez
2B Ronnie Belliard
RF Casey Blake
3B Aaron Boone
Starting Rotation:
LH CC Sabathia
RH Paul Byrd
LH Cliff Lee
RH Jake Westbrook
RH Jason Johnson
Closer: Bob Wickman
The trade of Coco Crisp to the Red Sox for 3B prospect Andy Marte was a good one for the Tribe, but not short term. Crisp is a very underrated player who they'll miss at the top of the order. Meanwhile the bottom of their order has the potential to be terrible, as Broussard, Blake and Boone are more likely to fall further in decline than to step up. Jason Michaels could turn out to be a find in LF, but he could also end up being just a guy.
Make no mistake, though, Sizemore, Martinez, Hafner and Peralta are all offensive studs. Sizemore has a shot to be the next Griffey Jr.
The starting pitching will be pretty good even with the loss of Kevin Milwood, but the bullpen could be a weakness.
If Danny Graves can get back the magic that made him an All-Star in Cincinnatti that would help a lot, because I don't expect Bob Wickman to be as good as he was last year. He's way too hittable.
The Good: Terrific top half of the order, deep starting rotation.
The Bad: Bullpen is full of questions, corner infield and outfield spots are below par, Peralta is a below average fielder at SS.
Best Case Scenario: The core of the Indian lineup continues to blossom, with Sizemore, Martinez and Hafner all putting up MVP numbers. Michaels siezes his chance to be an everyday player, while Boone, Broussard and Blake re-establish themselves. Bullpen comes together and Wickman has another 40-save season. Indians win the pennant.
Worst Case Scenario: Young players experience a small hiccup in their development, Boone, Wickman and Blake fade badly, Michales fails as a regular, starting pitching is inconsistent. Similar to last year's Twins, they fall back near .500.
Cleveland Indians
Manager: Eric Wedge
Offense: B+
Defense: C
Starting Pitching: B
Bullpen: C-
Bench: B
Prediction: 81-81 4th in AL Central

Hutchinson a Viking

The Vikings landed arguably the top free-agent on the market when the Seahawks decided not to match their offer to All Pro guard Steve Hutchinson.
The Michigan grad becomes the highest paid guard in league history, and gives the Viking line a huge boost.
If Matt Birk returns 100%, the Vikings will essentially be adding perhaps the best center and best guard in the league to their line.
There is no more important part of a football team than the O-line, and thankfully, Hamsterface seems to know this.
The Vikings are looking to add fullback Tony Richardson as well.
With Chester Taylor running behind a ProBowl fullback and a top notch O-line, Brad Johnson becomes about a 10 times better QB.
This is a big day for the Minnesota Vikings.

AL Central Preview: the KC Royals

I'll get to the Royals preview in a sec.
Been gone for a week due to March Madness.
No, not the big dance everyone loses money on while some ditsy secretary wins the pot.
No, in my world March Madness unfortunately means state high school basketball tournaments.
You know high school basketball, it's that thing we all stop caring about when we turn 19 (If we ever cared to begin with). Yet I get to spend five days in Aberdeen writing about it.
But speaking of real March Madness - I really suck at these pools. Not only have I never won, I've never even come close. This year I thought I'd have a shot if I picked almost no upsets. But of course there's been a billion already. I'm probably already out.
*As much as I'm ready to move on about Daunte Culpepper, I thought I'd mention this nugget from a Sid Hartman column.
Now I know a 2nd round pick is pretty underwhelming for a supposed franchise QB, but if you still think the Vikings were wrong to get rid of this punk after reading the following, then your name is probably Drew Rosenhaus.
"Right from the beginning, I never had a conversation with him about this football team. It was always about what he needed financially and money. I never heard team, I always heard me and I and 'I need 10 million dollars. I'm a 10 million-dollar-a-year quarterback.' - Brad Childress, Vikings coach.
I've ripped on hamster face for his fraternity style of hiring assistants, but I have to say I'm warming to him. I like a guy that won't put up with bullshit, a guy that will call a players bluff and say, "Fuck you, I'll win without you."
Later in the same story Childress goes on to question whether Daunte will be able to continue his success, basically saying that his injury will affect his mobility and turn him into a pocket passer. I'm glad he's gone, I just hope we find the heir apparent soon.
*OK, back to baseball.
Opening day is fast-approaching, so today I begin the preview of the American League Central Division with the one team that everyone knows will stink, the Kansas City Royals.
A couple years ago the Royals went a fluke 83-79 and competed for the division. If they were smart they would've known it was a fluke and continued to build for the future. But they went for it, proved to be a fluke, and set themselves back again. (In fairness, they didnt' have much of a choice. You can't exactly not try to win a pennant and expect fans to stick with you.)
Last year the Royals posted the worst record in franchise history (56-106), and surpassed 100 losses for the third time in four years. (For an idea of how bad that is, the Twins, bad as they were from '93 to 2000, never lost more than 97 during that stretch.)
This year they've added a bunch of veterans on the down side of their careers. It won't make them competitive, but it's not as terrible an idea as it sounds, because there are so few decent prospects for the veterans to take playing time from.
The Royals added pitchers Scott Elarton, Joe Mays, Mark Redman and Elmer Dessens, catcher Paul Bako, infielders Doug Mientkiewicz and Mark Grudzielanek (jeez they should call it the scrabble infield) and outfielder Reggie Sanders.
The best of the Royals holdovers include 1B Mike Sweeney, CF David DeJesus, OF Emil Brown, and DH/OF Matt Stairs.
3B Mark Tehan and C John Buck are the Royals version of Mauer and Morneau, but so far they've been very disappointing. Alex Gordon is the best prospect in the organization, and he might get called up this year. He's probably not ready, but they have nothing else.
Zack Greinke and Runelvys Hernandez both have potential as starters, but they were both really bad last year.
If there is any strength to this club, it's the bullpen. Mike McDougal came back nicely last year after washing out, and 6-10 lefty Andrew Sisco and fireballing righty Ambiorix Burgos look legit. Jeremy Affeldt is a talented lefty who'd look great in a Twins uniform. The Royals will probably trade him, but not likely to the Twins.
The Good: Mientkiewicz and Grudzielanek improve the defense, while Sanders is a nice addition with the bat. Sweeney, Stairs and Brown can all hit. Their pitching will be better, but still below par.
The Bad: Mienkiewicz can't hit, Sweeney will surely go on the DL again, and the pitching has way too many question marks. Plus, every other team in the AL Central looks solid this year.
Worse, the best players on this team are all old guys who won't be around for more than a year or two. Most of their young talent are C to B- prospects.
Best case scenario: Everyone stays healthy, Teahan and Buck develop, Greinke becomes the next Brad Radke, Mays thrives on the natural grass surface, the new additions all contribute and Gordon shows signs of being a future stud in a late season call up. If all that happened they'd still struggle to win 75 games.
Worst case scenario: Sweeney and Stairs get hurt, Teahan, Buck, DeJesus and Greinke regress, the veteran additions all prove to be finished. Another 100 loss season would be a certainty.
KC Royals
Manager: Buddy Bell
Offense: C
Defense: B
Starting Pitching: D
Bullpen: C
Bench: D
Prediction: 67-95 5th in AL Central.

Good Riddance

Daunte Culpepper is a Miami Dolphin.
The Vikings acquire a 2nd round draft choice for the Big Failure.
He has to pass a physical to complete the deal. I hope he passes.
No, it doesn't mean the Vikes can now go after Drew Brees, he signed with the Saints.
I guess that does mean Aaron Brooks is available.

Who are these frickin guys?!?

If you've been watching any of the Twins spring games so far (I've yet to miss one), you've undoubtedly seen a few names that are unfamiliar. Not uncommon, of course, for spring training.
The Twins don't have too many spots available on their big league roster, but there are several players who they're looking at to see if A) they might one day be ready, and
B) how soon that might be
Here are some names to know. Though I should point out this list is limited to prospects who are in the big league camp. There are lots of other potential studs who are still several years away.

Blue-chippers
*Denard Span - OF (pictured above right)
Think Jacque Jones with more speed and less power.
A former 1st round pick, Span began last year in A ball and hit .339 with 13 steals, prompting a call up to AA, where he hit .285 with 10 steals. It looks like the Twins are trying to decide if he's ready for AAA. He just turned 22, and if Torii Hunter ends up getting traded in the next year or two, this guy is his replacement.
*Alex Romero - OF
Once considered a marginal prospect, Romero, 22, broke through in AA last year, hitting .301 with 15 HR and 12 SB. Being that he developed so suddenly, the 6', 190 pounder possibly still hasn't tapped his full potential. He's by no means a can't miss prospect, but he has a shot to be a five-tool stud.
*Matt Garza, Glen Perkins - P
Both are 22, and both at least a year away. But they were both high draft picks and they've both impressed the coaching staff this spring. They could both be in the bigs next year. Garza is a righty, Perkins a lefty.
*Justin Jones - P
The guy from the Doug Mientkiewicz trade, Jones was 7-3, 3.01 at A ball last year. He's still only 21, and if he stays healthy could be a very good big league pitcher.

At the Ready
*Boof Bonser - P
The third guy in the AJ-Joe Nathan trade, Bonser was the AAA staff ace last year and led the league in K's. He's probably ready for the big leagues, the Twins just don't need him. He's probably a 3rd or 4th starter at best, but he could probably help the Twins out of the pen, especially if Juan Rincon's elbow doesn't get better soon.
*Dave Gassner - P
Soft tossing lefty is 27, but looked good in winning his ML debut with the Twins early last year. He's a good guy to have in AAA. Probably won't ever be a 15-game winner in the big leagues, but is always available to fill in if someone goes down.
*Darrel May, Denny Reyes - P
One of these two veteran lefties will make the team. Reyes throws hard but is wild, and he's had success against lefties as a reliever before (righties are another story.)
May is a soft-tosser and a former starter. Much like Greg Swindell a decade earlier, May's career as a starter has washed out, so he's trying to reinvent himself. Swindell rejuvenated his career making the move, and May, who has excellent control, might be able to as well.
*Willie Eyre - P
27-year old righty is a favorite to land a spot in Twins bullpen this year. He was 10-2 with a 2.71 ERA in AAA last year, so he's due for a shot. Could be the next Tony Fiore.
*Glenn Williams - 3B
This guy might be the Twins starting 3B this year if he hadn't seperated his shoulder last year. You may remember him hitting .425 after getting called-up, before the injury ended his season. That was his one big chance. Now he'll likely go back to AAA.
*Terry Tiffee - 3B/1B
Promising in '04, terrible last year. Looks like a pinch-hitter at best. I hope he doesn't make the team.
*Luis Rodriguez - IF
Spent most of last year in the bigs and I thought he was pretty good. He batted .269/.335/.383 in 175 ABs, far better than Castro and Punto. I'd love to have him beat out one of those two for a job, but since he's still young and has options, he'll probably start the year in AAA. He'll be back, though, and I think he could be a great utility player.
*Garrett Jones - 1B
If something disastrous would happen to Justin Morneau, Jones would be his likely substitute.
He's hit 54 homers over the past two seasons at AAA, but was just .244/.297 OBP last year. He could hit for power in the big leagues, but would probably struggle to hit .200. He's a career minor leaguer. Would probably be good in the Northern League.
*Chris Heintz, Rob Bowen, Shawn Wooten - C
None of these guys will ever amount to more than Tom Prince status, but they're good to have around. All three are capable back stops, while Wooten and Heintz (both veterans) have decent pop with the bat.
*Jason Tyner - OF
A speedy LH hitter with no power, Tyner, 29, probably belongs in the big leagues. He fared well in a call up last September, and has looked good this spring. If the Twins had an injury to their OF, Tyner is a better option than most teams have in AAA.
*Andres Torres - OF
Similar to Tyner but not as polished, Torres has ML experience and could help out in a pinch, but he'll be a career minor leaguer.
*Luis Maza, Tommy Watkins - IF, Josh Rabe - OF
I'd be surprised if any of these guys ever reach the Twins. They're not bad players, but they're not big leaguers. They help fill out a AAA roster.

Mid level prospects
*Jason Pridie - OF
A former top prospect of the D-Rays, Pridie would be a great addition to the Twins AAA roster, but unfortunately he's a Rule V pick, which means the Twins have to keep him in the ML all year or lose him - the same way they got Johan Santana.
Pridie has shown promise, but he's got about a 2% chance of making the team.
*JD Durbin - P
If you saw him pitch against the Reds Monday night, you saw how horrible he is. As recently as two years ago the "Real Deal" as he called himself, was arguably the top pitching prospect in the organization. But a total lack of command, maturity and possibly intelligence has him falling fast.
*Errol Simonitsch - P
A 6-foot-4, 23 yr old lefty, Simonitsch dominated A ball last year, then fared decently at AA. He's a little old to still be in AA, but he's got good stuff.
*Adam Harben - P
Similar to Simonitsch but a righty, Harben won 10 games with a 2.69 ERA in A ball last year.
*Jose Mijares - P
A 21-year old lefty with great stuff, Mijares is raw but talented. He might be the guy to eventually take JC Romero's role.

Just happy to be in camp

*Kevin Cameron, Jason Miller, Pat Neshek, Ricky Barrett - P
These guys have all put up solid numbers in the minors, but that's where they'll stay. They're either too old or simply don't have the tools that scouts want, regardless of how well they pitch in the minors.

Ugly Athlete No. 5 - Daunte Culpepper

Okay, maybe he's not really that ugly.
I just want to kick him in the balls these days.
Sounds like the Vikes are gonna trade him to Oakland for a 2nd round pick or something.
Good luck, Raiders.
But honestly, if I was the Vikes, I'd keep him, bench him, and refuse to renegotiate.
Make him rot on the bench for the next four years.

Daunte Culpepper
Prima Donna Football Player
Wussiness: 10
Cowardice: 10
Leadership: 0
Class: 0
Dependability: 0
Identifying Characteristic: Chokes whenever he is needed, blames others when something goes wrong, got busted at the love-boat party because he's married to a hippopotamus.
Looks Like: Failure.

So Long, Kirby

I think the best way to sum up Kirby Puckett, what he meant to me and so many others, is to let the man speak for himself.
The following is an excerpt from his Hall of Fame acceptance speech - by far the best I've ever heard, and one that left me in tears.

"There may be a few people out there who remember a time when the word on Kirby Puckett was that he was too short or didn't have enough power to make it to the big leagues. Well, despite the fact that I didn't get to play all the years that I wanted to, I did it.
To any young person out there: If anyone tells you you can't do what you want to do and be what you want to be, I want you to remember the guiding principles of my life. You can be what you want to be if you believe in yourself and you work hard because anything, and I'm telling you anything, is possible.
It doesn't matter if you're five foot eight like Kirby Puckett, or six foot six like my man Winnie (Dave Winfield). You can do it. And don't feel sorry for yourself if obstacles get in your way. Our great Twins World Series teams faced great odds and we beat them. Jackie Robinson faced odds and made this game truly the national game.
I faced odds when glaucoma took the bat out of my hands, but I didn't give in or feel sorry for myself. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It may be cloudy in my right eye, but the sun is shining very brightly in my left eye."

As the Twins played in the 1987 and 1991 World Series, the idea that the Twins could lose never even occured to me. I thought it was a fairy tale, and fairy tales always have happy endings, because they have heroes like Kirby Puckett.
When the Twins returned to the playoffs in 2002, I didn't have the unwavering confidence I had had as a youngster.
Maybe it was because I was 22 years old, old enough to realize that the Twins very well could lose, just like they could have lost back in 1987 and 1991.

Or maybe it was because Kirby Puckett wasn't in that Minnesota clubhouse, encouraging his teammates to jump on his back.
If he had been, maybe it would've gone back to being a fairy tale, just like it was back when I was a kid. Maybe I never would've dreamed that the Twins could lose, and maybe they would've won another championship.
Because with Kirby, fairy tales were real - something he proved every day he was in the big leagues.
He was Superman, Hercules, Santa Claus and Peter Pan rolled into one.
He was my hero.

Hang in There, Puck

I'm not going to try and say something overly profound or dramatic about Kirby Puckett as he fights for his life after suffering a stroke early Sunday morning. I'm just hoping he makes it.
Few, check that zero, celebrity/athletes were as significant to my adolescence than Kirby Puckett, a guy who could make a groundout to short entertaining.
As great as he was, though, it wasn't his .318 average or even his Game 6 performance in the '91 series that I think of first when I hear his name.
It was his smile, his bald head, his beer belly, his short, choppy, Babe Ruth-like steps as he burned around the bases. All the things that made him a real-life superhero.
Kirby's off-field problems in retirement have done little to sour my memories of him. His nice-guy persona may have been phony, but the way he played the game and inspired millions was very real.

TWINS ON TV TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

The Twins open their official exhibition schedule tonight in Fort Meyers, taking on the Boston Red Sox.
The game will be televised on FSN at 6 pm central.

Early Spring Roundup and Bloody Thursday

In what will hopefully be a sign of things to come, the World Series champion - and consensus favorite to repeat - Chicago White Sox lost the first spring training game of 2006 Wednesday, falling to the Colorado Rockies 6-0. The Detroit Tigers also edged Florida Southern University 4-3. The Twins played Concordia-St. Paul, but no score has been reported yet. Concordia, a Division 3 school, beat the Twins last spring.
Seriously.
*In other spring news, former Twins 3-hitter Bret Boone finally and mercifully announced his retirement Wednesday.
Boone was in camp with the Mets trying one last comeback, but admitted his confidence was so shaken that it wasn't worth waiting for games to start.
It's hard to remember the last time a player fell farther faster than Boone, who just a couple years ago was one of the game's most dangerous right-handed hitters.
*MLB's phony money-making scheme, otherwise known as the World Baseball Classic, continues to get pissed on by many of the game's biggest stars, as pitchers CC Sabathia and Billy Wagner both excused themselves from Team USA Wednesday, while Vlad Guerrero ditched the Dominican squad.
Team USA actually named 68-year old Al Leiter to the squad to replace Sabathia.
No word on whether the rumors of Joe Morgan coming in to play two-sack are true.
*As further evidence that this WBC thing is total PR bullshit, Twins CF Torii Hunter, a fellow WBC hater, has conspicuously stopped talking about it. When asked if MLB had told him to keep quiet, Hunter said, 'no comment'. Gee, I wonder what that means.
*The NFL may be headed for a work stoppage. Collective bargaining in pro sports is about as exciting to me as watching Dr. Phil, so I won't bother with the details.
But what is interesting is the effect the current deal is having on free-agency and the salary cap.
A few big names were cut today, and many, many more are expected tomorrow (the deadline for getting under the cap) for what many insiders are already calling "Bloody Thursday".
Don't believe it? Check out this quote: "In past years, you'd see a lot of guys released who maybe still had some name value but who were really in decline in terms of production," said one AFC team executive who was working late Tuesday, trying to figure out how to pare down a prohibitively bloated cap figure. "This year? People are going to be stunned -- not just by the quantity of players who are cut by Thursday but by the quality, too. It's going to be ugly. There's going to be blood in the streets and, compared to past years, it's going to be from some bluebloods, guys who can still play."
The Vikings have already informed Michael Bennett that he'll be cut. Will Daunte get the axe, too? I doubt it.
But there should be a chance for the Vikes, who are over $20 million under the cap, to add a RB.
Stephen Davis and Mike Anderson were both cut Wednesday, we'll see who's available tomorrow.
Both Davis and Anderson are the type of big, bruising, workhorse backs the Vikings desperately need. But Davis is clearly washed up, and Anderson will be 33 next September.
On the other hand, Anderson rushed for over 1,000 yards last year. I'd love to see the Vikes take him, especially if he's cheap.

Ugly Athlete No. 4 - Bobby Kielty

Seriously, what a D-bag.
Just look at him. The white Oscar Gamble.
He's like the guy in High School who wore a leisure suit to school one day because he thought he was so cool that everyone would think it's ironic.
But then everyone just thinks he's a fuckin jagoff.
When the Twins traded Kielty for Shannon Stewart, some people worried that the Twins had given up too much.
A certain retarded Twin Cities columnist even went as far as to suggest that the Twins may have traded the next Mickey Mantle (though all the two really have in common is that they're both white, switch-hitters and don't use batting gloves).
One thing I'm really tired of is fans latching onto certain players for that kind of shit.
"I really like Nick Punto because he slides head first" or
"I really like Dustan Mohr because he always dives for foul balls" or
"I really like Bobby Kielty because he doesn't wear batting gloves" or
"I really like Lew Ford because he's retarded just like me"
Hey, guess what? I really like Joe Mauer...because he's a fucking good baseball player!
Meanwhile the 'roided firecrotch has been a .230 hitter since the Twins traded him, while Stewart led them to two playoff appearances. I'd say it was a good trade.
So I hope Kielty's "I'm so ugly and my hair is so outrageous that I'm actually cool" bit is going over well in Oakland.
I don't miss it.
Bobby Kielty
Major League Baseball Player
2001 - present
Ugliness: 8
Creepiness: 8
Identifying Characteristic: There's a bon-fire on his head. Back zits (I've heard).
Looks like: Ronald McDonald on steroids.

Spring Training Primer

Pitchers and catchers are in camp, and the Twins will begin exhibition games in earnest within a couple weeks.
Just seeing a couple pictures of the red and blue uniforms under a bright sunshine with green grass in the background is enough to get me back in Twins mode.
It's been a pretty eventful off-season for the Twins, at least according to their standards.
Remember this is a team whose most significant off-season addition in 2001 was Tom Prince (and they ended a streak of 8 straight losing seasons that year).
Rondell White, Luis Castillo, Tony Batista and a few other minor additions will be in camp, and they'll be the key to the Twins contending this year.
Many are writing the Twins off, which is odd, considering that they actually were in contention most of last year. It's not like they're coming off a 70-92 season; they were 83-79.
Their offensive additions could be called modest, but modest is probably all they needed. The pitching staff is back, and with the subtraction of Joe Mays and JC Romero, it could actually be even better.
But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of burning questions as camp kicks off.
Who will be the 5th starter?
I'd be shocked if it isn't Scott Baker. All the numbers suggest he's ready.
In 10 games last year, Baker was 3-3 with a 3.35 ERA. 54 innings, 48 hits, 32 K's, 14 walks.
The last rookie to put up those kind of numbers in a late season callup was Scott Erickson, who went 8-4 with a 2.87 ERA late in 1990. You may remember that he followed that up by going 20-8 in his first full season the following year.
Francisco Liriano is still the No. 1 prospect in the organization, but I don't think they want to throw him in the ro just yet.
Liriano, who had 33 K's and just 7 walks in 24 innings during his call-up (albeit with a 5.70 ERA) will hopefully still make the team. I'd use him as a power lefty out of the pen, and if he succeeds, much like Johan Santana did in the same role, Kyle Lohse can be traded, and Liriano can move up.
Who will be the right-fielder?
This one is hard to call, but I'm putting my money on Michael Cuddyer.
Twins fans certainly have a bad taste in their mouths regarding Cuddy's 2005 season, though he finished strong enough to be reasonably optimistic.
After a brutal start that cost him a starting job, Cuddy finished at .263/.330/.422 with 12 homers and 25 doubles.
It would seem like he's running out of chances, but he's still only 27, and has the minor league credentials to suggest he's capable of producing.
Jason Kubel is the wild-card here, as he'd likely be handed the job if he weren't recovering from a major knee injury.
I wouldn't mind seeing a platoon situation between the two, but we all know how Gardy feels about that.
I wouldn't even let Lew Ford compete for the job. I don't see any reason to think his 2004 season (.299/.381/.446) was anything more than a fluke.
Last year he hit like a 4th OF (.377 SLG), and I believe that's what he is. Good defender at all three spots, good speed, makes decent contact - he's a backup.
My guess is Cuddyer gets around 450 at-bats, Kubel spends most of the year in AAA, and Ford gets 300 or so ABs spelling Shannon Stewart, Torii Hunter, Rondell White and Cuddyer.
If Cuddy can post something along the lines of .270 with 20 homers, everyone would be pleased.
Will Tony Batista be horrible?
There's a lot to suggest he will. Scouting reports out of Japan said he was fat and lethargic, and remember, the guy struggles to reach base 30% of the time anyway.
But as important as those kinds of numbers are, this game isn't played by robots. And Batista's presence at the bottom of the order could have a positive effect on the lineup as a whole. Walks and singles don't score runs by themselves. A big bopper isn't a bad thing.
If he hits 25 homers with a .280 OBP, that probably isn't helping a whole lot. But if he hits 30 or 40 homers, which would have his SLG% near .500, then I'll be happy. But that's a longshot.
But ya never know. Sometimes shot-in-the-dark free-agents work out. Maybe the Twins will get lucky.
Is Shannon Stewart finished?
Stewart didn't receive nearly enough criticism for how bad he was last year (.274/.323/.388).
He was slow, chased bad pitches, and was terrible in the OF.
He needs to get back to .300/.370/.450 if he's going to be the leadoff man.
Lew Ford failed as DH last year, but his numbers would've been more acceptable in LF, especially since Ford is far superior defensively.
Meaning if Stewart is hitting .260 on May 20th, you've gotta pull him. Between Ford, Kubel, and risking Rondell White's health by putting him in left, there are too many options to put up with another crappy season from Stewart.
How big an impact will Rondell White and Luis Castillo have?
Big enough.
Castillo immediately becomes the Twins best infielder - offensively and defensively.
It'll be interesting to see how much the Twins try to run him (his steals have gone down each of the last few years) but he'll get on base. A lot.
If White stays healthy, which will likely depend a lot on him staying away from the outfield, he could have an impact similar to what Chili Davis did in 1991.
If he gets 500 ABs, White will hit around .300 with 25 homers.
Will Torii Hunter or Brad Radke get traded before the season ends?
I doubt it.
Yes, Torii has a big raise ready to kick in next year, but he's the face of the franchise, and still an at times electrifying player. He may be traded after the season, but I'd be shocked to see him go midseason. (If the Twins are 10 games under .500 at the deadline, however, that's a different story)
Radke had said previously he'd retire after this year, but now he's hinting he'd like to keep playing.
I doubt the Twins would be interested in bringing him back at $10M a year, but if Brad was willing to sign, say, a 2 yr $8M type deal, that might be reasonable.
Again, I think you'll only see him go if the Twins are out of contention.
Kyle Lohse on the other hand, will likely go. Especially if Liriano is doing well.
Will Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau take a step up?
I think so.
With Mauer I don't believe there's any doubt.
His numbers last year seemed modestly impressive, but a closer look suggests he's ready to break out.
He hit .294/.372/.411, and struck out only 61 times in 489 ABs. He stole 13 bases in 14 attempts.
As he gets more comfortable, the on-base and slugging numbers are only going to go up.
At worst, I would expect Mauer to hit .310-15 homers-100 RBIs with a .400+OBP.
If he really breaks out, .330-25 homers isn't out of the question.
As for Morneau, I just think he's too skilled too end up a flop.
Morneau might be the single biggest key to the Twins success this year, and he's had a healthier off-season, a new hitting coach inserted, and will have better hitters in front of and behind him.
.260 with 30 homers is a reasoable expectation.
The other teams in the Central, even the White Sox, have questions of their own. I'll get to those another time.

Ugly Athlete No. 3 - Dirk Nowitzki

I don't know who the kid is (looks like a guy I used to work with at B-dubs) but the drunk fool next to him is NBA All-Star Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks, who, as you can see, is one ugly motherfucker.
I don't know why, but if you are white, and over 6-feet-9 inches tall, you are about 99% certain to be ugly as shit. If you're European, it's like 100%.
Dirk often shaves his head and face, at which point he's even uglier.
I think someone probably told him at some point to grow his hair and goatee long to try and hide his ugliness. It's a ploy Mike Miller is also using these days.
That picture is so horrible that if I was that kid I'd throw it away. I know it's cool to have a picture of yourself with a drunk NBA star trying to give the finger, but seriously, that shit's just hard to look at.
Dirk Nowitzki
NBA Basketball Player 1999 - present
Ugliness: 10
Creepiness: 5
Identifying Characteristic: An all-around horribleness. He's German.
Looks like: Hard to tell in the above picture, but kind of like Skeletor of He-Man fame. Especially when he shaves his shit.

Daunte on the Block

The Star Tribune reports the Vikings are going to give whiney-boy his wish.
Daunte is on the block.
Apparently he asked Wilf for a $10 million raise, which Wilf 'angrily' refused.
Of course what Zygi is missing is that Daunte knows he doesn't deserve a raise - that's why he's asking for one. To force the Vikings to trade him.
The story says the Vikings are asking for - get this - a 2nd round draft pick. Wow.
That is what you call falling from grace.
Another more encouraging scenario has the Vikes sending Daunte to Baltimore for Jamal Lewis.
Now Lewis' best days are certainly behind him, but I'd be more excited about landing him than a 2, considering recent Vikings second round picks include guys like Raonall Smith, EJ Henderson and Marcus Johnson.

Ugly Athlete No. 2 - Monica Seles

I used to watch a lot of tennis when I was a kid, and I had a special dislike for Monica Seles; for three reasons.
1 - She was, for a time, unbeatable.
2 - She squaled like a farm animal whenever she hit a forehand.
3 - She wasn't hot.
I feel kinda bad picking on someone who was once stabbed in the back by a psychotic fan (epsecially since her career was never the same after the incident), but Seles was, and probably still is, a big time dog.
Most men would probably be semi-turned on by listening to a woman howl like she's getting plowed by a jackhammer, yet Ms. Seles managed to make it pretty gross.
Makes you wonder what kind of noises she makes when she's having sex. Assuming she has sex.
With men.
Monica Seles
Professional Tennis Player 1989-2002
Ugliness: 7
Creepiness: 5
Identifying Characteristic: Hair that looks like it was pulled off of a broom, perma-scowl face, mannish body, walrus-like grunts during play. Has never heard of makeup.
Looks like: A man.

Ugly Athlete No. 1 - Willie McGee

As a cheap way to keep finding things to write about in this space, I've decided to launch what I hope will be an entertaining project: Identifying the ugliest athletes in America.
Past or present, male or female, professional or college, anyone is eligible.
I'm not going to rank them in any particular order, and I'll post a new ugly athlete pretty much whenever I don't have anything better to touch on - no particular schedule.
Certainly there will be many on the list that are easy targets, obvious choices, while others may reflect a personal touch.
Because ugliness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
You know how sometimes you're attracted to a chick and you don't really know why?
She might have a big nose or funny looking teeth or a weird scar on her face, but something about her just... 'works' for some reason.
Same deal for picking ugly athletes.
Might be a normal enough looking guy, but something about him (or her) just gives you the creeps.
So there may be some less obvious choices.
So without further ado.....
Leading off the list is former outfielder Willie McGee, who had a fine career, mostly with the St. Louis Cardinals. The 1985 NL MVP, McGee is also the only player to win a batting title in one league, while finishing the season playing in the other (1990, when the Cards sent him to the A's at the waiver deadline).
Willie McGee
Major League Baseball Player 1982-1999.
Ugliness: 9
Creepiness: 6
Identifying Characteristic: Doesn't really have a chin, or any lower face to speak of. His bottom lip seems to connect to his neck. Kind of like a chicken.
Looks like: Kind of like a chicken, also like a crack-addict. Chappelle's show could have fun with this guy.

Wither Sammy Sosa?

Sammy Sosa is threatening to retire.
This is kind of like Hitler threatening to kill himself, or Blink 182 threatening to stop making albums.
And yes, that is Sammy Sosa in the picture at left.
Before he started, ya know....lifting weights.
I won't sit here and say I hate Sammy Sosa, because he never really did anything all that bad (other than that whole "weight-lifting" thing).
But he always bugged the hell out of me, and it pisses me off that he has more career homers than guys like Mickey Mantle, Frank Robinson and Harmon Killebrew.
The thing that always bugged me about Sosa is how stupid he clearly is. Nobody likes stupid people and Sosa is certainly that.
His ridiculous homerun 'hop', (which he also did every time he flied out to left field because he's a fuck-tard) was the most ridiculous thing I ever saw a pro athlete do, except for maybe that other ridiculous thing he'd do - you know, where he dumps a cup of water on his head (rather than in his mouth) and kisses his fingers and points and whatever else was part of that Gay Latin Handjive.
Only a total moron would do this kind of shit.
The guy played the game like a 6-year old, and I don't mean that as a compliment. Accordingly, his supposed "immense popularity" was strictly relegated to little-leaguers, great-grandmothers and retarded people. No one over the age of 12 actually enjoyed Sosa's tired and phony antics.
Sosa was also never popular with any teammate he ever had. In his mind he was the show, and everyone else in blue pinstripes was an extra.
When he was in his prime he was famous (infamous?) for controlling the boombox in the Cubs locker room and do you know what he listened to?
Whitney Houston and Celine Dion. I'm not making this shit up just to spite the fucker, it's true.
Whitney fucking Houston and Celine Goddamn Dion! In a Major League clubhouse.
If I have not yet convinced you that Sammy Sosa sucks, never read this blog again because I hate you.
Sosa has made over $125 million dollars in his career just from playing baseball. Who knows how much additional cash he has made from Pepsi commercials.
(Side note: This is why I hate Pepsi - they use assfaces like Sammy Sosa in their commercials and think it's cute and hip. It's actually gay. Pepsi and Sammy Sosa may be the most perfect match I've ever heard of.)
But with all that money, Sosa is apparently going to turn down a $500,000 contract from the Washington Nationals, because he's insulted by it. A million and he'll talk, according to reports.
He has 588 career homeruns - 12 more and he joins the Babe, Bonds, Hank and Willie in the 600 club.
Here's hoping he hangs it up.
Cuz he don't belong on any list with those guys.